Hey,
readers! This is my "remotely
released" blog post that shares MY views on "Gamergate," and why
this is absolutely a waste of our time and energy. This blog post was drafted on October 30th
(and finished on October 31st), 2014, the night after I found out about this
so-called "scandal"—that's what "Gamergate" is, right? Because only real major scandals can have the
"gate" name. In fact, on that
note, does anyone think that Bill Gates is more than one scandal in human
form? HAHA! #ReallyBadJokes
Anyways,
I feel, that as a female Nerd who enjoys playing video games, I should speak
up, sharing my point of view. Yes, it's MY
OPINION, which is neither right nor wrong! So stop trolling and pay attention!
As
always, I have provided you with an theme song for this post: the full Deus Ex Human Revolution soundtrack.
BREAK DOWN THE GATES!!! Why Not Everything Needs a "Gate" Involved
Let's
begin with the first item on my docket: Do we HAVE to inflate the
"scandal" factor in the most RIDICULOUS topics in the media? Not everything is a scandal; in
fact, most is just bad planning and design and what-not. Seriously, "Bendgate" and
"Hairgate" should not even exist.
So what if you get your hair caught in your iPhone6 and it bends in the
pocket of your skinny jeans? That's your
own Davros-damn fault here! Because who
would be placing the ear piece right on their hair? It should be brushed out of the way before
using said device as a phone (which I'm sure is rare nowadays; just fucking
call the device a tricorder already!
Because we can do everything else with it, INCLUDING MASTURBATE!). I do that with my Obamaphone (which is not
a sign of socialism, conservative fuckers!) already! I brush my hair out of the way before doing
anything with my pointed ears!
As for
"Bendgate," well…..just don't wear skinny jeans. They were out of style before they were even
IN style. The only reason why they were
invented was because the designer had to come up with some sort of pant-like
garment for fashion runway shows and the twig-like models (who have a body mass
index less than 1, I'm sure) had to wear them; they have no real function in
our lives except to make us super uncomfortable and unable to bend over and
pick up the loose change that falls out of our pockets. There's no need for skinny jeans (or this
"gate" nonsense associated with video games and tricorders) anyways,
in this universe. In a
parallel/alternate universe, maybe; but this is not that universe, because if
it were, the products that are of concern would be designed a LOT better.
In any
case, only give a real high-level scandal the "gate" watermark. PLEASE!
No more first-world bullshit powered by our selfish narcissistic desires
for top-notch quality-made products that (in order to obtain in the first
place) we would have to shell out millions of dollars to purchase in this
market.
The Real Issue: "Gamergate" Is Just a Sexist Response To Gaming Feminism
So, the
night before drafting this post, I was watching Colbert Report,
and he shared the super-hyped story how
many male gamers are issuing death threats against female gamers who want
ladies to stop being thrust into the objectified damsels-in-distress role in
many of the video games that are made for a male-dominant market. I have to say, I agree with those ladies; I
disagree with the response the guys are giving them.
Seriously,
anyone who reacts negatively to this statement is a sexist pig who should never
be in a relationship with another woman, because they are sure to be abusive to
her. They are already programmed that
way, so maybe it IS the game developer's fault in the first place—WAIT, WAIT,
this is confusing and I'm not medicated when drafting up this post, so let's
try again……
A large
number of the video games created for Nerds have historically been designed for
the straight male half of the Nerd race (which, until recent years, was
stereotypically painted as the socially awkward weakling), because that was
what the companies assumed would be the majority of their market make-up; I'm
sure those companies were run by old sexist geezers in the first place, saying
that "running a business is no place for a woman," and sticking them
into the secretary role. And therefore,
because of this mentality, those video games were designed for the male brain,
which crave not only food and being able to display male dominance gestures
(which include guttural roaring while firing off an automatic machine gun like
Al Pacino), but also sex from women whenever they want. It's empowering to them, especially after
having been bullied by the intimidating jocks in the real life
environment. Playing those games are
their way of getting that self-confidence and, in their mind, taking that power
back from those Cthulhu-damn jocks!
However,
with the more recently abundant acceptance that ladies should be treated as
equals to men, this mental processing is being challenged; the virtual social
hierarchy (and the many places in the world still believing that science and
religion are equal, as well as certain places in Asia and on the workplace's
payroll) is one of the last bastions of a patriarchal social structure where
men can have all the power and women they want, believing that they are akin to
objects, "things" that don't feel anything and are made to be used
without need for asking for permission and worry, because women "are more
submissive and not as tough, without having a single original thought in their
heads." This kind of thinking is
not acceptable anymore, especially as society continues to develop. Yet it's frustrating that many men think
it's still okay to make cat-calls and wolf-whistles to women who walk by them
on the street. Oi! We're not your sex dolls, okay? If you want to display that behavior, do it
at a strip club!
So, of
course there are video games like Grand Theft Auto and whatnot that have strong
male leads and "weak" female NPCs (non-player characters, for those
not familiar with gaming lingo) in today's world. Because the video game market is not changing
fast enough to support the idea of using a strong female lead that isn't just a
sex icon. That or gender-neutral video
games such as the one where you play a gust of wind…….or say, has anyone ever
heard of flOw? That one is
gender-neutral! There are whole species
of plants and animals that are without gender living on this very same planet;
why do we still have gender-specific games where the exciting sexist action
games are geared towards men and the frilly boring "bake a cake" or
"raise a puppy" games are geared towards women? Our world has CHANGED; it's time the nerdy
gaming market should do so as well!
So, What the Fuck Again? Getting to the Points……
We must change
the gaming landscape and market, stimulating an evolution and growth that
allows gamer diversity in the marketplace.
Though I'd love to fuck with the current gamescape by releasing a game
that has ONLY strong female leads that rescue "wimpy" nerds from the
clutches of evil, we should start small; we should allow female characters to
not just be a standby in the scene, but rather be a part of our team, and be
playable. This line from the Halo Reach
release panel says it all: http://youtu.be/1aOb6Nn8egA?t=12m15s
However,
the solution I presented isn't the problem here: it's the reaction that male
gamers have to the possibility of a female-equivalent gamescape (which is a
gaming market landscape, in case you haven't figured it out yet), by issuing
insults and death threats to those females who speak out. Why do that?!
Why be programmed that way?!
We're not your pixelated bitches!
(Technically speaking, sometimes I am a pixelated bitch, but I'm not your
submissive pixelated bitch!)
Isn't it
against the LAW (especially in California) to issue a threat? Isn't it wrong anyways, if there isn't a
law against issuing threats? Especially
"terroristic" threats of school shootings? In what way does it make sense that it's
"okay" to do that in response to us ladies (or lady Nerds) speaking
up for equal more accurate representation in the virtual universe? Because, gamer dudes and guy Nerds, in case
you forgot, we ladies are a formidable gender for one reason and one reason
only: we. Have. VAGINAS!!! And our vaginas are dangerous and wily. They are the gateways of NEW LIFE! Yes: WE BEAR YOUR CHILDREN, BOYS! And those hormones that rear their heads
every month exist for THAT very reason!
That and our mother bear instincts are the reason why your genes are
still in the gene pool (provided that your genes make up part of the DNA of
your spawn)! You think we're weak and
submissive? Threaten the safety of our
offspring and we go She-Hulk on everybody's asses! #EdenSmash
So,
"Gamergate" (aka, the Gamescape Waste-of-Time) is just plain
ridiculous. There's no good reason for
males to be like, "Whoa, wait, FUCK YOU TO DEATH, BITCH, BECAUSE WE
DOMINATE THIS WORLD!" and for them to be programmed that way in the first
place. Open up your minds, bros. (And I think legal weed should help in that
respect. Just not too much.) Or else the next time you're online, all the
ladies will definitely be fragging your ass in Call of Duty/Modern
Warfare/Halo/Destiny/whatever because of how much of a dick you just had
to be. And I'll gladly be one of them
once I can figure out how to play first-player-shooter games a lot better
(without being the victim of every other "death" in the game)….
Anyways,
that's it for my rant here. Let's all
breathe a sigh of release, drink some delicious dessert wine in celebration of
my 24th birthday (which was this past Halloween, if you haven't read my
previous post), and share the love. And
while we're doing that at the same time as my partial absence, I hope y'all
ENJOY
YOUR DIGITAL HALLOWEEN TACQUITO BUFFET!
(without being
fucked over like in this video!)
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