The Twelfth Hour Tolls: A Review of "Deep Breath," Capaldi's First Full Episode as the Doctor

            If you're reading this, you might've guessed that I was just scrambling into my seat at the computer, cracking my knuckles, warming up my plunger and whisk, and started engaging in furious writing, eager to share my thoughts, theories and reactions to a new face taking up the role of our most famous and beloved alien time traveler.  And for that, I have brought you the Rogue Dubstep remix of "Clocks" by Coldplay as the optional theme song for this review!

            Once again, our beloved Gallifreyan time-traveling (formerly raggedy) madman Doctor has regenerated, leaving us floundering in painful tears as we try latching upon ANY REASON to love the new "Clock Doc" (as I like to call him)!  And after the few episodes of stale writing left us with a thirst for fresher excitement of the Doctor's adventures, it seemed that we were in need of a new face to refresh the flavor of the series.  Obviously, they went with Peter Capaldi (who himself is a Whovian—THANK GOODNESS!  No need to trust someone who's a stranger to the tales of the Whoniverse!), not because he would be good over the long run, but because they just needed to go in a different direction: a worn-down alien whose been a little reset with a face recalled from his Tennant days in ancient Pompeii and a Scottish accent with angry eyebrows!  Not to mention that I'm pretty sure new memes were born that night!

            Which brings me to my first point:

The Theatrical Entrance of the Two Temporal Travelers

Only on #DoctorWho can a T-Rex be choking on a TARDIS! However it looks great! Someone must've roped in Spielberg! #afterwho #doctorwho
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) August 24, 2014

            A Tyrannosaurus Rex in Victorian England choking on the TARDIS…..  Finally, the writer(s) redeemed themselves at Whovian storytelling!  Because nowhere else can there be such an entrance!  NOWHERE!  DO YOU HEAR/READ ME, NETWORK TELEVISION?!  NOWHERE!!!!!  *plungersmacks self*  Sorry, a little ranty, a lot squirrelly during drafting (especially since Fox is doing "Gracepoint," the bastardized/Americanized version of Broadchurch that is apparently what mainstream America is allergic to, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!).  But this introduction and quite a few funny moments really make up for the floppiness in the last Christmas episode, The Time of the Doctor (which I was able to tolerate watching again, noticing a few references to previous Doctors that I haven't seen before).

            Secondly…..

Character Analysis: The WHO in "Doctor Who"

(Shuddup, critics!)

            The new Doctor is definitely a little more callous, a bit more insensitive and definitely less relatable in an alien kind of way, like, "I'm an ALIEN, with non-ginger kidneys!"  Lots of memories seem to have faded from his mind, and he is less cuddly.  He is a little more angry, and he's got the eyebrows to match!  To me, in that scene in the "escape pod," which turns out to be—SPOILER ALERT!—a skin balloon, he also seems to be a wee bit a of a drinker; I have very few memories, in my time of being a new-gen Whovian ("new-gen" meaning having come into the Whovian "fandom"—hate that word—during the series reboot), of seeing the Doctor with a glass of anything alcoholic ON SCREEN!  Anyways, he seems to dislike the human race quite a bit, much like Eccleston's Doctor (number 9), according to Diane (found on Twitter at @DiHard11).  Capaldi also seems to have difficulty expressing that whole manic, hyper, young, rapid thinking Smith's Doc (#11) had.  He is HAWT in that Kuroshitsuji-esque-butler-looking-but-still-an-outfit-that-can-stand-on-its-own suit ensemble, but another downside (despite the non-ginger kidneys) is that he's a spitter.  YUCK!  I hate that, I just do; in fact, going to one of the worst case scenarios, hawking a "loogie" makes me gag, having suffered through seeing many in high school water fountains and hearing the sound over and over again.  *shudders*  #HighSchoolNightmares

            As for the companion, Clara is still clever, able to think on her feet (or horizontally on her back/front/either side), but the usually sassy confidence was definitely shaken with the change of face and personality.  It was obvious in the beginning, and certainly towards the end, but we were all going through that, enduring the Whovian's Cycle of Regeneration Reaction.  And I can relate to that; in fact, in the aftershow After Who Live, hosted by Chris Hardwick (Wow, is this the reason for the @midnight hiatus?  Answer: NO.), a few celebrity guests (specifically, Wil Wheaton, Alton Brown, Mark Gatiss, et al.) discussed how the companion can be expressing the same emotions we were feeling, which is true: the companion is the audience's avatar in the Whoniverse, albeit one we can't control all the time unless it's in fanfiction written to satisfy our inner desires.  (*eyebrow waggle*)  But Clara still delivered her usual Impossible Girl charisma, talents and skills, looking hawt in Victorian era clothing and delivering a kind of emotionally fueled banter, reflecting our thoughts of "Who is he now?"  (She could be a Bond Girl!  Somebody, please!  Contact Time Lord 007 and inform him of this!)  It is a shame, though, that Jenna Louise-Coleman will be leaving the series by Christmastime, which begs the question: how will she leave?  Will she be killed off, like all her other selves?  Or will she be disembarking at her final destination, with the possibility of a return during some sort of huge epic special episode like Martha Jones and Rose Tyler?  This discussion must be held!

            With these two paired up, and aided by Madame Vastra, her wife Jenny, and Strax (the potato clone with a craving for war and battles and glory, LIKE A POTATO KLINGON!), they were able to provide the core of the episode, the A(liens)-Team that were able to fight what's wrong.  They also were able to provide a LOT of hilarious moments and new memes!  I believe some were tweeted about….

Planet of the Pudding Brains! Great for a tshirt! #CREATE #doctorwho @dihard11 @educatordalek @notgaydalek
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) August 24, 2014

So New #DoctorWho episode was actually pretty great! I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Anyone else catch it?
— Renelly (@NellyMorel) August 25, 2014

12 misses Amy...interesting. #DeepBreath
— -Di.☯ DiHardPodcast (@DiHard11) August 24, 2014

Harvesting parts! Yes it's from The Girl in the Fireplace! #DeepBreath I was wondering about that!
— -Di.☯ DiHardPodcast (@DiHard11) August 24, 2014

"I'm right here. Standing in front of you. Please. Just... Just see me." I may have been crying at this point. #DoctorWho #DeepBreath
— Carine Brunet (@crazypandaninja) August 25, 2014

The numbers are in...and the 12th Doctor is IN: http://t.co/9H24a4HAvY #DoctorWho
— Sci-Fi Storm (@scifistorm) August 25, 2014

I loved the term "Planet of the Pudding Brains," especially since it could make a GREAT t-shirt!  And the moments with Vastra knocking out the Clock Doc in that way, Strax doing the whole "here's some 'clean' water," and medical examination thing, as well as knocking out Clara with the newspaper and going through the whole "dip him in acid" bit—all that had me cracking up, laughing so hard (much like Phil "Bad Astronomer" Plait did that one time....) that I was worried I was going to wake up my neighbors!  I can't watch it again and again without laughing!

            And, finally….

The Plot—TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, But Not Really…..

            The plot actually works: grand, hilarious entrance and whole identity crisis, mixed together with the issue of clockwork androids that remind you of Girl In the Fireplace, and the base consisting of the audience waiting for the "I am the Doctor," moment just seems to make it work well like a thoroughly-blended smoothie.  Or perfect-thickness milkshake—I say milkshake, because I like milkshakes better; it's just a matter of preference, I say!  Not to mention the well-done scenes of Clara struggling to hold her breath and passing out, the flashbacks, the lead clock-droid, any other scenes you may like—this one is for the "Excellent Episodes" pile, especially with the new TARDIS interior!  I didn't notice the new windows and I'm pretty sure that the TARDIS is sporting a fresher coat of blue paint, but there are new round things inside (YAY, ROUND THINGS!), and a library area in the main control room, with more seats throughout!  MOAR YAYS, BUT FOR SEATS!  Though, I might add complaints from others such as my parents (classic Whovians, from the Tom Baker era) and Reppy the Republican Dalek, as well as the Deviants in Deviant Art's Devart chat later on after initially posting this review.

            However, questions abound with SPOILERS!  First of all, where the hell is that "promised land," looking a hell of a lot like MY Garden?  Is it part of the TARDIS?  And who is this Missy chick?  I can totally get an Evil vibe from her (even though she's a fictional character; yes, I know, Dad.), but the ethics (Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic) axis is questionable.  There may be an underlying motive for it, and the brief disappearance of the Doctor after the initial conflict raises even more questions, which doesn't help his alibi in regards to this new problem.  I think my current (at the time of publishing this blog post) theory for this story arc can be best expressed in my tweet:

It looks like the #clockdoc has more secrets than we thought. Missy = playful immoral TARDIS? #afterwho #skinballoon #doctorwho #wholockplz
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) August 24, 2014

And I loved seeing that familiar face at the end!!!!  It helped make that transition easier on us Whovians!  Well, me definitely; others probably want to speak for themselves.  And when that took place, I could, then, see the previous Doctor in the Clock Doc!  That was quite helpful, and I loved it; I hope this happens again in the future regenerations of Doctor Who!  I also loved After Who Live!  I hope it continues throughout the season; especially since I can see how much of a workaholic Hardwick is—yet another project to add to his pile: @midnight, Nerdist Industries and Podcast, All Star Bowling, and Talking Dead, to name a few.  I think he needs to be strapped down, sedated a wee bit, and given a massage!  IT'S NOT A KIDNAPPING BUT AN INTERVENTION, HARDWICK, BECAUSE ALL OUR POINTS ARE BELONG TO YOU!

            All in all, 4.5 plungers/TARDISes/sonic screwdrivers/Doctors out of 5!  And I hope that the accessory hand thing takes off like Doc Five's accessory celery.  These clockwork droids, along with Missy (and Miss Tasha Lem, Mother Superious of the Church of the Papal Mainframe/Church of Silence), would make GREAT costumes for a Doctor Who cosplay event that is going to take place October 2014 in Bethlehem, PA (which is within my sector).  There are going to be cosplay groups coming from ALL OVER just for this event!  One of the main sponsors is one of my frequent haunts: The Underground Lair, the nerdshop that has "vintage" toys, items that the Santa Time Lord never gifted to you for Christmas in your childhood, games galore, Whovian merchandise and items that were crafted by local residents (whose species have yet to be determined), Potter-things, gay-pride items (all for you, NotGayDalek!), and other items that are for sale for a great price!  They are willing to purchase toys you want to get rid of or help you sell them for a certain percent of the price!  (They are not a pawn shop, therefore they will not haggle over the price they are willing to pay.  Don't even try; Dan told me so himself.)  I plan on being there, taking pictures and doing coverage for the blog and stuffs, but YOU SHOULD TRANSMAT OVER AND BE THERE, TOO!  Your attendance is required by the Sontaran-Dalek Alliance!  Let's make the streets of Bethlehem, PA, bleed TARDIS BLUE!  MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  (For the record, it wasn't my idea, but I do like it and am allowing it to happen!)

            Anyways, I hope the improvements continue (despite the oddly different intro sequence; that's the reason why I call Capaldi's doc the Clock Doc; I mean, come on!  I loved the old smoky sort of timey-wimey wormhole temporal vortex!  But why have the intro focus on clocks?  It makes no sense to me at all!  But now's not the time to rant about it…), because I shall be a Whovian until I am nothing but a timeline in my giant TARDIS-tomb on Trenzalore!  And with that, in the present, Non-Greenwich meantime, I hope you enjoy your regenerated tacquitos!  Because they're Scottish with non-ginger kidneys in need of our love!

P.S.  The following tweet MUST BE EXPRESSED!  And retweeted and overshared!  BEHOLD!

I hope that the sentences, "You redecorated! I don't like it," becomes a running joke amongst us Whovians! Let's keep it going! #DoctorWho
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) August 24, 2014

P.P.S.  Where can I get one of those Team Adipose t-shirts?  I must acquire one straight away!  MY DEAR OOD!  I have a quest for you, and you must embark on it immediately for it to be completed (with autographs) in time for Christmas/my birthday!......  *zooms off on hoverbike*

I'm Alive, I'm Part-Hipster, and I Might Just Go Anyways

Here's some theme music--It's "Alive" by Empire of the Sun

Part 1

            Oh my God, Oh my Davros, Oh my Loki, Oh my Thor!

            What the HELL was I thinking with that last post?!  I was so goddamn upset I vented at you, at Mom and Dad, at the physical world basically.

            And after thinking back on it, I came to a realization that is just ridiculous.

I WAS BEING A HIPSTER!

(Complete with hipster shirt!)

            My parents are saying, "Go check with the awesome hotel we're staying in!"  Which, by the way, looks awesome!  It's made of suites, dudes!  SUITES!  It's like Residence Inn but more bedrooms and Tempurpedic beds!  Not to mention I checked out a mobile version of their website, where it says that they have bikes we could borrow for free, full kitchens in the suites, free off-street parking, and that we're steps from the awesome side of Pittsburgh!  We can cook, I'll have my own bedroom in the suite (two bedroom suites, bro!  That's fancy for me!  But I think it's more for my parents than it is for me…) and there's a flat-screen television set there!  But at this rate (which, at the time of my typing this part, is Monday 4:33 AM EST), I don't know the whole story, so I'm just drafting these parts up as I research what is going to happen and make calls to my sibling to see what her plans are for that Saturday.  We might just be able to see it in theaters, which means we would need adult diapers for all the pants-pissing brick-shitting nerdgasms from experiencing awesome epic bacon jizzing in the theater.

            Anyways, for now, I must sleep so that I may have a clear head for calling the hotel and asking questions (which is still a wall I'm struggling with), and then get groceries, laundry money, and my ass to the library.  Until then, LOOK ALIVE AND EXCELSIOR!

Part 2

            I sent an email today, basically doing what Mom would tell me to do (“JUST CALL THEM!”) but via email. It didn’t help that @NotGayDalek had to affirm my fears of channels not being available in hotels with this tweet, so it’s best if I ask. Basically it consists of the following:

Hi, um, if I were to stay at your hotel, would I be able to receive the channels BBCAmerica and Travel Channel on your televisions? It's kind of very important to me.

@LadyEden1337 @CaliforniaDalek @EducatorDalek @LisaR_M @BBCAMERICA MY EXPERIENCE FROM MANY HOTELS IS = PROBABLY NOT. AND #THEYDONTCARE
— GayAgendaDalek (@NotGayDalek) November 11, 2013

And since it’s a Ghost Adventures weekend (EVERY WEEKEND!) and Toonami Saturday, I won’t be able to catch much of it.  At all, if ever, and that doesn’t include that Jay Wasley, sound guy to the Ghost Adventures Crew, didn’t have access to the Travel Channel at his hotel when he attended Parafest.  Basically, you won’t get answers if you don’t ask questions…

Part 3

            I HAVE GOOD NEWS TODAY! (Which is Tuesday, November 12, 2013.)  I got an email reply back from the hotel people I’m staying at and THIS IS WHAT IT SAYS!

Re: ******: Channel Selection in the Suites
Hello, Ms. Pyrithea
Thank you for emailing!  As a guest, you would be able to view BBCAmerica and The Travel Channel.  Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.
Sincerely,(name censored)Asst. General Manager

So, I will most certainly be going, and holding a viewing party in the suite, if we haven’t already decided to attend the theater showing!  Also, I’m censoring the name of the place I’ll be staying at until I do my review of the place which will post AFTER leaving!  Thank you to the hotel!

To be honest, I would’ve gone just to stay in the hotel anyways, and to see my grandfather who has been dealing with illness again.  He needs to take better care of himself, but at least it’s one more Thanksgiving meal with him.

So let the COUNTDOWN BEGIN!

A Film Review and an Update--Hamlet Starring Doctor Bacon

            I understand that I haven't been posting as much lately, but mostly because I really want more people to enjoy my writings.  So sharing is extremely encouraged--and if you don't share my entries, I can send my Daleks in to EXTERMINATE YOU!  Ha, ha, just kidding!  Mostly.

            Yeah, I'm SUCH a troll to y'all……

            Anyways, for the moment, I am drafting up my blog entries away from the library through Microsoft Word so I can just copy, paste, add shit, format shit…  (Not that any of my entries are shit--I'm like Stan "The Man" Lee in that I highly believe that my blog posts are just made of AWESOME SAUCE AND BACON, despite needing some improvements…)  And there might be times when I would just wind up doing some twofers and threesomes…  Yeah, I know, it sounds kinky, but it's a SHIT TON OF WORK when you have a week to review three movies + three books and you have to space it out a little when you post it all!  So I might just get a shit ton of posts ready and then schedule its publishing date so I don't have to simply freak out.  Unless it's like that drunk person episode I'm still laughing about; who DOESN'T like Dalek-hugging drunks, hmmm?  Despite being a little unpredictable, they're just so LOVABLE and stuffs!  But as I was saying, if anything like that ever happens again, or if I really need to get a message out I can't keep bottled up inside (i.e. rants, which I tend to do a lot), I'll get that post out of the way, and then delay the others a bit.  I plan on getting a minimum of five posts published over a two week period.  Which shouldn't seem that hard…  And, yes, Universe/God/Loki/Force/Karma, I can fucking see the wheels turning in your head, plotting how to fuck me the FUCK over.  Give it up, cuz I'm not letting this bitch die, since it's a cute and sexy bitch that has Doctors, drunk people, cats, and is BETTER THAN TWILIGHT!!!!  (Twihards, shut up--you know I'm right!)

            So, now that's all clear with y'all, on with the kickass review of one of the best Shakespearean films ever made…

Hamlet starring David Super-Sexy Tennant and Sir Patrick Bacon-Baron Stewart!!!

             Why did William Shakespeare write something like HAMLET?

            So that the BBC could make a modern day version of it out of BACON, with BACON-CLASS ACTORS such as David "Doctor 10" Tennant and Sir Patrick "Captain Picard" Stewart!

            I know--hacky joke.  But it's so full of bacon that the Whovians and the Trekkies might as well have had an endless orgy together and made a sex tape of it, releasing it as this version of Hamlet!

            Can you tell how much I love this film already?  Oh, you can't because you're not telepathic enough, not counting the Ood?  Aw, shit, I thought you could!  But I think it's for the best because dangerous things lurk within the shadows of my mind that should never see the light of day…  Yeah, I agree, I should never think those thoughts, but who put you in charge of my mind?  I never did, even when I was buzzed!  (Yes, that happens, but I never allow myself to get Dalek-hugging drunk.)  Anyways, PAY ATTENTION FOR YOU WILL BE QUIZZED!

This is Nerdface!  Like it?

            First of all, majorly mad Master props to the BBC and Gregory Doran (Wow, I know the name of the director!  Impressed yet?) and the cast and crew for getting this badass masterpiece together, because they executed the film so well it seems like nobody else could make it so amazingly delicious like this!  It's like the stars are aligned so perfectly that it seemed Shakespeare himself didn't die, but aged hundreds of years just to help us make this film!  (Or his ghost kept up with modern society as time crept along and then helped out.  Hey, a nerd like me can dream, can't she?)  Never have I seen a modernization of a Shakespearean performance be produced so well since that modern version of Romeo and Juliet starring Leonardo DiCaprio.  Oi, please don't groan like that: I grew up in quite a small town, sheltered a lot, so my tastes in film may be a little different, okay?  *NERD FACE*

             But as I was saying, the film was made so well, and David Tennant did excellent in his role, even to the point when I could see the Doctor inside of him, just echoes of the heroic-yet-dangerous Time Lord living inside, influencing him subtly enough to the point where it seems like that version of the Doctor hadn't really died and all you can do is make grabby hands at the screen while clutching your sonic screwdriver (as in either the tool or the alcoholic drink--your choice) and silently screaming "DOCTORRRRRR!" every time you see certain elements of this character emerge in that featurette.  Yes, I did this sans screwdriver and it didn't help much…at all.  And yes, Shakespeare wrote the play but the ones who created the visual interpretation of it, with the retro film camera, the security camera, the hidden passages, the modern attire and military technology mixed with old-fashioned scandalous monarchy should be considered members of the Hollywood and English-version-of-Hollywood royalty.

            And Sir Patrick Stewart kicked ass!  Not only as Claudius, but also as Hamlet's dead father's ghost (of the rightful but murdered king)!  For some reason, he not only oozed Enterprise's TNG Captain (with facial hair) but he did so well that he made the characters bear his face now, whenever someone thinks "King Claudius".  The only complaints I have are the mysterious shrug before he drinks the poisoned cup (it seems a little out of place--I don't know why, though) and the scene with the military not having enough background; it just looked like snow on a platform and blackness in the background--not very worldly in my opinion.  If it were me, I'd have done a military base or a forest or a field next to a forest, all covered in snow in the background, because a limited setting just doesn't cut it, despite bringing more attention to Tennant's Hamlet.  Might I suggest some sort of snowy fog at night?

            All in all, well executed, especially the set and the soliloquoys, including "To be or not to be; that is the question"--so well done!  (And yet, my squirrelly brain can't help bring up a scene of Sir Patrick Stewart doing a different version of that monologue for Sesame Street for the letter B.  In case you missed it, here you go…)

            I absolutely recommend it be shown in schools across the country for English class because if you're a badass nerdy teacher who is making his own scalemail for the class trip to the Renaissance Faire, WHY THE FUCK NOT?!  (You know I mean you, Mr. Perelli, who taught me English in the 11th grade!  Feel free to fangasm as you watch this film for the first time.  And bring your own sonic screwdriver.  Yes, I recommend the tool instead of the drink, though I'd like to have one of the latter right now, to be honest…)

            But raving aside, why not inject a little comedy, eh?  Here's a CSI:Denmark cutscene from my buddy, Nick "Nutcase Nightmare" Liow, creator of the :the game: series and Interwebz master of Craftyy, the online game remixer!

            May your fencing foils never be tipped with a very potent and deadly venom and your drinks never be poisoned!  Oh, and may your sister(s and brothers) never drown in any bodies of water, giving you cause to murder someone who looks like David Tennant, and may Lieutenant Horatio Caine of Miami-Dade PD always bid you "Goodnight, sweet prince."

            P.S.  I think that it should be of note that after I finished watching the film and the special features that I couldn't stop thinking in Shakespearean English.  I know there's a technical term for this, but I can't think of it at the moment of my drafting this entry, so please forgive me.  But really, I mean, I just could do like, Freudian Shakespeare that I can't stop coming up with until after I went to bed!

            Cue the Picardian facepalm!

            P.P.S. Sorry.  I lied about the quiz.  Mr. Perelli can give you one if you want, though! J