Some Sort of Paradise: A Review of Utopia, Fox's New Reality Show--UPDATED

***At the time of publishing this post, Utopia is already in its 12th Day, with one person (the former convict) having already left the place after ranting and cursing and being generally angry.  Two people came in his place.***

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            Sorry for no post last week.  I was sick with some sort of cold or respiratory infection, so I was like, "Fuck it, I'M QUARANTINED!" for the entire week.  (Thanks, Mom and Dad, for dropping off the store brand DayQuil and NyQuil med stuff.  It really helped a lot!)  I was staying inside, not doing much except eating, sleeping, medicating and repeating.  And watching shows on TV and listening to podcast episodes and playing computer games.  So this week, I'm lifting my self-imposed quarantine and trying to not strangle people because of my impacted unwise wisdom tooth (that needs to geddafuckout!) in order to re-acclimate to the outside world.  Meanwhile, I was able to watch one of the premieres of a new reality show on television: Utopia and then following it up with some disturbing news on Fox.

            Which brings me to my optional theme song mix for this post: Spacemind's "Space Ark"

Justice for Cruelty: People Are Not Punching Bags

            Thanks to news teasers on Fox, I was convinced that I needed to watch a segment about howsome idiot youths were filming themselves beating up an older man who hasdisabilities (or, as the media likes to put it, "special needs man," or "mentally challenged man".  It's a step in the right direction, but now try using Person-First language.  News media outlets are the source of "disability-first language"' usage, and I want to change that all over the mediascape.).  First, some idiotteen at Musikfest tries to use brass knuckles (of which possession is ILLEGAL everywhere in the States) to beat up an older man who was defending his wife, all because the idiot teen and his girlfriend "weren't being respected."  And now some dumbasses think it's a good idea to just beat up someone with disabilities who is older than them and to put it up on YouTube.

            Let me tell you something: IT'S NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO DO THAT!  In PA, it counts as assault.  And just hurting someone who has a disability (or two….or five….) is wrong no matter what you think because it only means you're so gutless and cowardly and full of shit that you have to pick on someone you see as "lower than you" or (and I hate using this word) "retarded," which, today, translates to "stupid," among the youth (who need to learn etymology more; "mental retardation" is a term used for a disability that delays the mental and emotional development of a person).

            This sucks.  I'm outraged by their actions.  Not to mention that I'm now more cautious: I have no interest in being treated that way, and I have a lot more self-respect than those losers.  But if I'm ever faced with that situation, I'll either try and make a quick exit or I'll stand my ground, using my intellect to scare them off, while calling 911 because I'd rather have cops there to handle the situation than to be left alone.

            This is why it is important for there to be self-defense classes provided for people on the Autism Spectrum; it's so they can defend themselves if idiots like the ones in the news decide copy their attitude, arrogance and actions to seem tough, and to teach us self-discipline.

            Seriously, this bullshit is not something I would EVER tolerate in my Utopia; the perps would be thrown to the zombies.

Building Paradise: My Garden Does Not Look Like This….

            Yes, I'm going to review this new reality show called "Utopia".  So what?  (I'm not referring to the idyllic location that Professor Yana was trying to launch a giant rocket towards, by the way.)

            It's not like it's Big Brother; far from it!  You see, what's different about this show is that there isn't a real prize like cash or a house or a vacation or whatever is tangible in this realm.  It's actually a social experiment (like every Big-Brother-structured reality competition show is) that is to be done over the course of a year, examining every participant's idea of a perfect world or perfect society and how they can create it.  The Pioneers (the first fourteen or fifteen people in this society where cameramen aren't around) are vastly different, with backgrounds ranging from pastors to professional chefs to Apocalypse preppers to yogis to expecting mothers and even convicts; my personal favorite among them is Hex the Huntress, who has brought her own bow and quiver of arrows Utopia!

            The idea of the show itself is audacious enough: a perfect society where the Pioneers are not allowed to be outside the gates, but outsiders are allowed in during certain hours.  It's self-governed, remotely monitored 24/7 for an entire year, and the electricity and food had to be obtained by themselves, a complete bubble with a fish-filled pond, a pool, chickens, cows (or "Mootopians"), fertile land, some money and a barn.  The group itself is not going to stay the same, as more people will come and others will go.  It's all going to be streamed live, all day and all night, and the audience will have a chance to join the group inside the gates, applying to casting to say, "I want to help build a perfect society!  SIGN ME UP!"

            And it's already on its first two weeks: soon after the project started, there have been conflicts ALREADY!  Someone didn't want to share his things because it's all he had, another man (whose ego is bigger than the show, I bet) drank too much whiskey and was being a total pervert, the redneck and the chef exchanged heated words and butted heads, literally and figuratively, which led to the redneck almost just up and leaving.  There were lots of people stripping down until they're nothing but naked blurs with faces and arms diving into the pool, and a few of the Pioneers are uncomfortable with that because they're that frickin' conservative.

            And yes, I live tweeted during Part 1 of the premiere:

#nowwatching the premiere of #utopia and live tweeting it! I wouldn't have done a pastor because preachy.
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) September 8, 2014

Owch. Conflict already. That's what happens when you don't break the ice right away. #utopia list passions and weaknesses right away?
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) September 8, 2014

"What could possibly go wrong?" The oft uttered curse/jinx of every good idea. #utopia
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) September 8, 2014

Josh is a jerk of a drunk. I think the rest of the group needs to monitor his alcohol intake if he isn't thrown out already. #utopia
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) September 8, 2014

#inmyutopia criminal justice would be tribunal as in: witnesses then defendant testify, and jury without their presence. #utopia
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) September 8, 2014

I've never heard of a #chickentractor before. But now, because of #utopia, i want one for a friend of the family! @thebloggess
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) September 8, 2014

            And I do believe that this is interesting enough, but they're not done yet; I have some ideas that they should implement with their rules and practices and stuff.

         Π    Anyone who breaks a rule or something to the point where it pisses the others off should spend the next 24 hours shoveling manure and sleeping with the cows that night, if it's a minor offense.  Major offenses or repeat offenders should be ejected from the society.

         Π    Court is a good idea: let the offender and 3 to 5 witnesses give their testimonies, and then have them go out and wait for the verdict that will be decided amongst the rest of the Pioneers.  Punishments must also be determined during deliberations.  (Manure shoveling should be a punishment!)

         Π    Get a full on bull or something, a cow that can help the female cows make little calves, which results in better yield for milk!  Same with a rooster for the chickens; animals don't live forever!

         

  Π    Get some sheep and a ram, as well as a couple of goats so that the wool can be sheared off, carded, spun into yarn and used to make clothing that they can sell online for more money or to replace torn or lost clothing.  Also get a loom, so you can weave together sheets and blankets for the cold winter months, and knitting needles for scarves and hats and stuff; knitting and weaving aren't hard to learn, but it's fun to do and it boosts self-esteem.

         Π    If Amanda gives birth inside the grounds, let a certified midwife come and help out with delivery in the barn with sheets hanging around them and almost everyone else waiting outside, then get Amanda and the baby off to the damn hospital to get them both examined just in case.  Medicine is not optional; people in colonies like Plymouth and Salem and Johnstown did get sick and die from illnesses and childbirth and whatnot, and we don't need a Utopia that is quarantined with CDC officials milling around in Hazmat suits just because someone believes that they shouldn't get vaccinated.  (Also, get someone to come by and give vaccinations.  Pioneers who are vaxxers don't have to get them as they can suffer the fucking consequences of their "decision", but not everyone is a vaxxer.  VACCINATE!)

         Π    Don't shy away from Twitter; we (Utopians, aka fans of Utopia) love communicating with you, and should be able to give feedback when asked.

            At least, that's what my perfect society should be doing.  That and making thrones for me.  :P

            Anyways, the idea is audacious (so is building a colony on Mars), but it should be interesting to see what does and does not work for creating a perfect society.  At least then, I can get to work on building my colony for when the zombie apocalypse comes; so far, all I can come up with is either live in Antarctica or on one of the rocky Aleutian islands off Alaska, or to move in with Bigfoot and Chewbacca.

            Unsure how many Dalek plungers out of 5 to rate this show, because the jury is still out on how many should be awarded.  But it is something to be checked out.  I shall continue to watch until I get bored!

            Until then, ENJOY YOUR PERFECT TACQUITO!

"Perfection is overrated.  I still strive for it, though, because it makes sense to me." — myself

***Utopia airs on FOX on Tuesdays at 8pm EDT and Fridays at 9pm EDT. Live streaming is available on the website at http://www.utopiatv.com/home and requires a "passport" for people to vote for new members and view videos and live streams.***

UPDATE: After about two months, Fox cancelled Utopia, due to low ratings.  Which is sad.....

RIP Utopia (2014-2014)

What the Fuck Happened?! A Long Overdue Update

            OOOOOOF!!!!  It's been such a looong time since I last did a blog post!  The last post was probably done in April, before I traveled over to California Dalek's sector (I'm hoping for your sake, Cali, that it doesn't get split up into six separate states.) and forgot to continue doing blog posts and my XP log!  D:  Not to mention that afterwards, I kind of let my library fines get CRAZY and that prevented me from doing blog posts.  Also, I borrowed wifi for a bit--until it went away.  So now it's back to using the library's CRAPPY computers again.  Oh yeah, (optional) theme music!  It's going to be AC DC - Back In Black (Jim Heinz Remix) by theMHRproject2.

            Anyways, here's what happened to me during that period of time; however, it's going to be a bunch of bullet points that I hope aren't super lengthy, so strap in…..

          Π Trip to California—I was able to travel to California for a week and a half, visit family, check out Disney's California Adventure (after Disney refreshed it to help bump up the various problems with the park that helped drive away crowds), have EXCELLENT food at restaurants I will share the review of soon, complain about hotel accommodations, wander around the San Francisco airport, go through Newark Airport after midnight when all the businesses are CLOSED, get my hair trimmed by my aunt, and just enjoy my vacation burrito.  Oh, and I did go to Meltdown Comics (+10 Life List XP!) and be all touristy there after having a bizarre Garmin-led adventure through these towns outside of LA, take a look at the various populations and even see a mission while we (Dad and myself) drove by.  I consider it to be quite a success.  (No, Chris didn't autograph my copy of the Nerdist Way yet because he wasn't there.  Which actually helped because I was kind of super nervous—I wasn't sure if I wanted to really meet Chris and other people from Nerdist Industries, being all anxious with my small-town fansquirrel feels.  But I did enjoy going there!)  Next time, I shall be successful, with autographs and @midnight tapings that I probably could've not missed had my father not been as discouraging as he was before the trip!  Yes, Dad, I will make sure to get the tickets this time; just try talking to Mom first, okay?

   

Π     Pennsylvania Autism Training Conference—June 11th and 12th, I was able to attend a conference at the Eden Resort in Lancaster, PA!  And I did it (mostly) by myself as an exhibitor in the expo part of the conference!  I was doing quite a bit of art prior to the show in an effort to be all prepared and to sell some pieces.  Which I was able to do, fortunately: I sold three framed paintings!  That's $90 USD total!  Not a great profit margin but I'm happy about that success!  I was able to meet other people who are also on the Autism spectrum and have a good time!  And it was all PAID FOR!  I didn't have to spend a single cent on anything unless I wanted to!  Not to mention that it's a fancy hotel with suites, one of which I stayed in by myself!  Yeah, I got a whole suite to myself and it was super fancy!  There was even a phone in the bathroom!  (There's a difference between fancy and swanky: fancy is like, a super expensive hotel where you could have a wedding.  Swanky is top hats, monocles, fainting couches that are actually chaise lounges in the ladies' restroom.  And while we're on the topic, "formal gala" is basically what you would see at a Presidential or Royal ball: ballgowns, suits, servants in butler uniforms (read: "suits with tails"), orchestra, etc.)  Mom and Dad were not only proud of me, but so surprised that they said they could've stayed over with me.  I'm like, "But your schedules say no!"  Anyways, I'm glad I was able to pursue going to this event.  Thank you to my Supports Coordinator, everyone who organized the conference, the Eden Resort staff, Mom and Dad (for being SO supportive and understanding) and my Community Inclusion peeps!  As well as the people who purchased my art!  That is one fancy/gourmet tacquito I totally enjoyed!

     Π    Personal Stuff—I have been doing a lot lately within my life, and much of it was for the better: I got the Adult Autism Waiver (hence the conference, Supports Coordinator, Community Inclusion, etc.), I got to clean up my apartment, keep it clean, be very responsible, and it really cheered up my parents!  My psychiatrist was happy about all the progress we reported to him, as is my therapist!  In fact, so many good things took place that I started making a "Good Things List" that really helps keep the mood positive and helps counter the lies that depression tells us are true.  Here's a sample:

ü  I'M ALIVE!

ü  I'M  OKAY!

ü  I'm making a ton of progress!

ü  I was able to stay at a hotel in a suite by myself--and it was paid for!

ü  I sold three paintings with a small profit!

ü  Mom is happier!

ü  Parents are more supportive of my artistic and creative pursuits!

ü  I'm being productive!

ü  I'm getting the supports I need!

ü  I'm not really alone.

ü  I enjoyed some nerd humor.

ü  I started having a following under not only the name I blog with but also my secret identity!  (Major yays!)

ü  I'm a little more organized.

ü  There is less yelling and arguing between me and my parents.

ü  There is generally a good mood in the air!

ü  My meds work for my depression AND the anxiety I sometimes feel.

ü  Parents are more understanding!  :D

ü  Assessments (for Autism Waiver) showed how many things improved!

ü  I have not argued with parents in at least one month!

ü  Problem solving skill levels are up!

ü  I'm more attentive.

ü  I can relax over mistakes I make.  (Like missing a therapy appointment is NOT the end of the world for me at this point!)

            If you're dealing with depression, why not do what I did?  It really helps to have something to go back to, like a list of happy truths that can tell depression to fuck off!

            Of course, this is only part of the story: just recently, I discovered that at least one of my wisdom teeth has to be removed.  The dentist couldn't do it at the office I usually go to (1.5 to 2 hour bus ride away; 1/2 hour by car) couldn't do it so I have to go see a specialist.  I was super upset and anxious about it, fearful even, mostly due to the fact that I will not be conscious during the procedure (Do I even want to be?!?!?!).  And I'm fearful of how I will be loopy immediately after the procedure; however, my allies in the Twitterverse definitely cheered me up!

@LadyEden1337 a human I knew had all 4 removed in one sitting as well as a 5th tooth. 3 arms. 2 tires. And an eye. He said it was easy.
— The Magician (@IAmTheMagician) July 10, 2014

@EducatorDalek @LadyEden1337 I USE MINE TO BALANCE MY CASING WHEN CHASING INFERIORS.
— GayAgendaDalek (@NotGayDalek) July 11, 2014

@NotGayDalek @EducatorDalek @LadyEden1337 Better than chafing interiors, I suppose
— Anarchist Dalek (@AnarchistDalek) July 11, 2014

            I love you guys/gals/Daleks/other sentient races!  You totally made me laugh when I needed it and you let me know that it's super common for people to undergo wisdom teeth removal.  (Lucky Mom!  She doesn't have wisdom teeth so she doesn't have to go through it!)  And according to my parents, the car ride home will be super fun due to the loopy phase I will be going through; so with all of that info being fed to me through my ear holes, I think I should just drunkenly smile and ride that dragon all the way home.

            Question is, will the dragon be real, colored purple, fluent in cat, and smell like root beer?

            Anyways, I must prepare for the possibility that my base will be overrun with drunks due to the 10-day presence of Musikfest.  Yes, overrun with drunks.  It's a shame that I can't have weapons here at my residence, because if the drunks turn into real zombies, I'm fucked.  But I might be one of those drunks anyways because I plan on going.  Just look for the drunk Padawan that's actually more sober than the rest of the people attending the festivities while strategically avoiding the polka tent except for possibly passing through to take one of the paths traveled a little less because foot traffic.

            Anyways, I believe this update is sufficient enough to say, "I'm sorry for disappearing because stuff and I will be back to blogging; here's an update to share the stuff."  Now, to plot out my Birthday/Christmas Wishlist of Awesomes (that's already a few yards long because of ThinkGeek's Wishlist feature)…..  And I promise to try and post some blogs I drafted out already.  But that's for another time.

Enjoy your California/Amish drunk/high tacquito!

Life On Hoth: When Snow Just Keeps Inviting Its Relatives

            I know I promised y'all my friend's guest blog post, but for technical reasons, he wasn't exactly able to make a draft for me.  Not to mention he has a job now, so he'll have less time to do the post.  So, I suggest that we all wait patiently for him as I share my bullshit with you to tide you over until then.  The optional theme song for this week is a Red Hot Chili Peppers "Snow" Remix.

            If you haven't read my post about the Polar Vortex from earlier this year that made just being outside completely dangerous, I suggest you PAUSE on reading this current post in order to catch up on weather issues.

            All caught up now?  Good.  *AHEM!*

            Being a resident of the Northeastern (specifically Mid-Atlantic) region of the United States does have its perks a bit, mostly because we actually get all four seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn/Fall, and Winter actually take place here.  I've experienced heat waves, the odd stray hurricane, freezing cold and snow, as well as unusual weather patterns such as tornadoes north of me in the mountains and the unusual declaration from school of "flood days".  But right now, everything seems off balance thanks to the fuckers who are not helping us at least slow down the global warming we have inflicted upon the planet.  Not only do we have more and more dangerously hot weather every Summer (which should just be called Tatooine season at this rate), but now we are facing a ridiculous Winter.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that this is why Punxsutawney Phil, the famous meteorological groundhog of PA, predicted 6 moreweeks of winter (would should just be called Hoth season at this point); I actually did wonder why he "saw his shadow", but now I know:

WE'RE NOW GETTING FUCKED IN THE FACE BY SNOWSTORMS EVERY WEEK!!!

Yes, first it was the Polar Vortex in early January; then it was Winter Storm Pax last week (which is pretty funny because it not only is Latin for "peace," but it's also the name of some gaming conventions that happen periodically every year, with PAX Prime in Seattle, PAX East Boston and now PAX Australia!), and this past weekend it's another storm called Winter Storm Quintus, which I'm sure was named after the Pennsylvania Lottery game known as Quinto!

            Since when is it okay to advertise by having snow storms be named after what you're trying to sell?  Since when is it okay to control the DAVROS-DAMN weather?!?!  I'm frustrated and tired and coming up with ridiculous conspiracy theories, because, now, the snow isn't going away!  People are barely shoveling sidewalks, putting down salt, and not giving a fuck about bus stops I use!  And that's not the only danger!

Life On Hoth Just Got a Little More Dangerous

            We've faced below freezing temperatures, sleet, freezing rain, snow, thundersnow, rain, frostbite dangers, and driving winds.  At a couple of points, it was colder here in the U.S. than in Sochi, Russia, where the Olympic Winter Games are being held (or were held if you're reading this in the future)!  But now there's another couple of issues that are not exactly being covered in the news just yet.

            For one, we've got structural damage to buildings, which is hurting business!  Yes, I said structural damage, but only because a building in Easton, PA (or its surrounding neighborhoods) has actually started to (or already did) collapse under the weight of the snow that refused to melt!  We're also running out of room to put it all!  Seriously, Mother Nature, can't you give us a fucking break?  Or did someone steal Sean Connery's weather machine and fuck around with it, making us suffer the consequences?

            You see, deep down at its core, EVERYTHING is made of the same "stuff," which scientists call matter or mass.  And you can't really just erase matter from existence; it can be transformed from one state to another, converted into energy and back, but it can't be destroyed or removed from existence all together; it just stacks itself upon itself.  All we can do with this STUFF that is currently called "snow" and "ice" is to move it, mostly onto bigger and bigger piles of snow and ice.  We're running out of room to put the snow so it can stay out of the way!  In fact, I just recently found out from sources of mine that on Saturday, February 15, 2014, the city of Bethlehem, PA, closed off part of Main St. that runs through downtown in order to remove a giant nuisance pile of snow by way of two backhoes and a dump truck!  They even closed off the bridge that goes into that section!  Which isn't helpful considering that the historic Hotel Bethlehem (complete with its own room with a "boo") is RIGHT THERE!

            One woman I've chatted with about the weather while riding home on the bus actually asked if the snow is being dumped into the river that separates South Side Bethlehem from the rest of the city.  I am not sure about this info, but I'm kind of leery about it.  You see, streets are indeed made from asphalt, but it's also often soaked in petroleum products, like oil and whatnot.  This "street-oil" is actually what lends cause to a driving phenomenon known as hydroplaning, where the car just slides along the surface of the street in wet weather with loss of traction and some control, mostly because oil tends to float on the water that seeps into the asphalt whenever it rains and lubricate the surface even further.  So, if you're plowing snow out of the way, you're also scraping up not only pieces of asphalt but this oily residue stuff with the snow.  Which means that it might not actually be safe to be dumping into the water, I fear.

            (Also, yellow snow is an issue, but it's easily identifiable, and not as prevalent as a problem.)

            But another issue with the added mass of snow that isn't melting or going anywhere at the moment is the combined weight of it.  You see, you have layers of snow and ice and snow and ice not just landing in the streets and on top of cars, but also on top of buildings.  It's not necessary to remove snow from the rooftops—that is, unless the structure of the building is unable to hold the weight of the snow.

            Just this past Tuesday (February 18, 2014), a carousel building at the old, abandoned, historic, hard-to-restore amusement park known as Bushkill Park actually collapsed under the weight of the snow.  I kid you not, I was like, "NOOOOO!" because I actually went there and skated at the roller rink!  It's like, your favorite tree on your property getting cut down and it stings quite a bit because it was a part of your life.  At least the carousel wasn't damaged and nobody was hurt; in fact, the carousel wasn't even there: it was sold a long time ago already, according to my half-Vulcan Spockish father.

            I also heard from him that fairly recently, in the Bethlehem area, the 24-hour Wegman's off of Center St. had a collapse scare.  One day, the manager showed up to work to find out that the steel pillars of +25 roof support that are located throughout the store have started to flex "near the roof"!  I'm not making this up!  He actually freaked out a bit and said, "WE  NEED THIS CHECKED OUT!"  The fire department showed up and kicked everybody out for safety reasons!  The store was closed for 17 hours (overnight) while the employees and manager had to wait for an assessment of the structure by an inspector.  The inspector said that the place will hold the weight, despite the weirdness of FLEXING STEEL POLES (that aren't from Poland; sorry for the stupid pun), and they reopened at 2:30 PM EST on Sunday, February 16th, reassuring everyone that it will be okay.  However, I'm typing this while having images in my head of that Wegman's being the center of a story about how an inspector gave the green light on the structural safety, only to have the building collapse days later with some casualties.  Of course, this was out of concern thanks to media influence sensationalizing such stories and making it near impossible to think "Just fucking trust the inspector," without thinking about the possibility of false structural positives turning into bad news for people working in that building as it collapses onto their heads.

            So I beg you, with this in mind, BE CAREFUL!  Make sure that the tops of your cars, trucks, buses, SUVs, etc, are cleared off so you don't wind up killing people with frozen blocks of snow falling off the roof of the vehicles/shipping containers/buses on bridges only to slam into the cars trying to pass underneath.  Stay warm, and make sure you keep an extra supply of tauntauns on hand and share if people need them!

BONUS!  Ascent of the Cubes: A Way to Make Sure You Don't Go to Bed On Time

Oh, my...Davros/Cthulhu!  This poster is full of WIN!

            Just recently, I've been listening to one particular episode of the Nerdist podcast over and over (because I enjoyed it a lot), with Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson as the guest.  And in the episode, he described higher spacial dimensionality.  Please, allow me to share his ideas so that you may experience the liquification of your brain!

CLICK HERE TO EXPLORE THE ASCENT OF THE CUBES!!!!

            Once you've listened to that, let's take it further: if the four-dimensional cube has eight three-dimensional cubes as boundaries, isn't the five-dimensional cube bounded by ten four-dimensional cubes, which each have eight three-dimensional cubes as boundaries?  *offers tissues for bleeding noses and painkillers for readers who can't quite grasp that concept*  It's so crazy to think about!

            Anyways, I shall leave you writhing in agony like that, while I go hunt down some chocolate to celebrate a belated Singles Awareness Day by myself.  Please don't hate me for making your brain constipated.

            ENJOY YOUR FIVE-DIMENSIONAL TACQUITOS! #boobs #EXCELSIOR!

An Update on Multiple Topics--Good Things Await Me!

            Today's theme song is Strobe (Extended) by Deadmau5.

            In case you've been missing me, I'M STILL HERE!  Don't worry, I just didn't have much in the way of topics to blog about, and I had a lot of real life to deal with.  Inspections, going on holiday over Thanksgiving week, being snarky and silly on Monday, managing a more normal schedule after being trained by the parents--I've been quite busy, as you can tell.

            I think this blog will be very verbose, so I'll do a summary of it here, in case you decided to be all "Too long; didn't read," to me:

Ø  I passed the annual inspections overall--AND YOU CAN TOO!

Ø  I had a ton of crazy fun (with a little drama) while on holiday in Pittsburgh and in Virginia (Richmond area, that's all you need to know).

Ø  I was snarky earlier this week; it's like Darth Hater was in charge of Karma that day, at least to me.  But that's the thought process I'm trying to delete from my brain banks.

Ø  I ENJOYED MY BURRITO ON WEDNESDAY! (12/4/2013)  AND MOM DANCED IN THE STREET!

Ø  I'm working on a life list; I ran out of ideas on my third page, so I'll consider any suggestions y'all might have.

         Okay on the summary?  Cool, stay tuned for previews of upcoming blog posts I plan on posting soon!  (Just to make you scroll through it all!  MWAHAHAHAHA!)  Want more info?  READ THE POST! >:F

Inspections: When You Wish You Had an Ood Servant

            If you've never lived on your own (or with a roommate) in an apartment (and I'm assuming most of you did rent an apartment), you must know this for when you do rent one:

Most landlords expect you to keep your apartment clean, bug- and mold- and damage-free, safe, functional, and able to meet their expectations.  They would even go so far to include it in your lease agreement and "house rules".  If you do not clean it when it comes time for them to do the annual inspections that almost all of the cities require, YOU CAN BE EVICTED!

            I have the clean-safe-healthy-functional clause in my lease, and in the past, I have failed the first round of inspections.  It's embarrassing for that to happen, and even landed me on the building's "suspect list."

            Not a good list to be on.  (Then again, being on any suspect list is a bad thing.)

            But I was able to address it this year, with the help of my loving, patient parents who tend to be overprotective of me even when I'm out of their house.  And it helped when we were on holiday, because I didn't wind up wrecking the place like I am wont to do (OCD and Asperger's issues; it's where change isn't a good thing, unless I change the apartment myself.  I know it's frustrating but now I'm more willing to accept the help.  Plus, total organization will take a while, and I can be the one who decides how to organize the place.)

            However, on Thursday, December 5th, 2013, just before 10am, the manager and someone who is probably from the Department or Bureau of Housing and Urban Development, showed up at my apartment.  I felt that I was as prepared as I could be, so I let them in (which is important!  Not letting them in means you have something to hide!).  I could see that Brad (the manager) was surprised and pleased (in his usual Brad way, with a straight face--I shit you not, he could pass as one of those guards outside of Buckingham Palace), and that I had a high chance of passing.  Albeit, he noted that I had to organize the closets and the entertainment center shelves, do laundry and clean the toilet's outside ceramic skin, but I still passed overall.  And of course, I called people and texted people saying, "OMG, I THINK I PASSED!  YAYS!  #SQUEE!"

            But to address the long-term issue of organization is quite difficult, which is why I was questing for a specific book while on holiday.  The Nerdist Way by Chris "BigC" Hardwick is perhaps the best chance for me to solve this problem, because even though I'm a nerd, this book can show me how to be organized and more together--by being a nerd and, even better, a Nerdist (a Nerd who uses their nerdy skills to create things and make positive contributions to the world).  I haven't had much luck in finding it in specific bookstores (The Books-a-Million and Barnes & Noble I went to didn't have it in stock--Thanks a lot, guys. -_-) and I'm like, "I FAILED!"  Which really sucks and makes you question whether the people running these stores have the common sense to keep this book in stock for anyone who heard about it and is willing to track it down (like me!).

            However, someone on Twitter has offered to send me an unsigned copy and I was unsure.  That's when I had two offers at once: one from Twitter from a kind stranger saying, "I have multiple unsigned copies," to which I'm like, "YOU COULD'VE HAD THEM SIGNED?!  *dies, but is willing to reanimate as a zombie solely for the purpose of obtaining Big C's signature*" and one from my very good friend who's currently (at the time of publishing this post) living in North Carolina.  He says, "Here, it's a Christmas present."  My response: "Great!  Thank you!  Now, what can I get you that can be equal or greater in value to your gift to me?  Comic books?  Artwork?  ThinkGeek stuff?  BUTTENS?"  Thanks, Jesse, and I hope to complete and send you my Christmas gift to you before you move to the cheesy State of Wisconsin. (#badpuns)

            Note: Mom, Dad, calm down; he's neutral-good!  He'll never stalk and rape and kill me.  Not everyone on the internet is a creeper.  So, BREATHE and have some chocolate or brownies!

Pittsburgh Business Family Road Trip: When Car Rides Make You Feel Like a Trapped Marshmallow

            I hope to be as brief as possible: The Thursday before we left (normal Thursday before Thanksgiving), we cleaned the shit out of the apartment (literally and figuratively) and I stayed over at my parents' place.  Friday, we left a little bit late, headed over to Pittsburgh.  Traffic was crazy bad, and I'm like, "DESIGN YER ROADS BETTERS, ENGINEERS!"  For lunch, I tried Wendy's Bacon Mushroom Melt; it needs more beef.  We got to the hotel (all suites in old apartment buildings), and we had to lug our suitcases up the stairs because of no elevator.  As soon as my sister was free from other obligations, we had barbeque, alcohol and fun!  Saturday was Doctor Who day, and we hit up the Creative Reuse store beforehand and went crazy; I recommend the place to everybody with a creative imagination and the crafting skills (and XP) to redo almost anything.  Watched Doctor Who about 2 or 3 times; it started snowing, and it got pretty bad so we ordered pizza delivery.  That was the only time I allowed an exception to my rule of not consuming Papa John's (for political reasons and personal preference; but I would've said "FUCK YEAH!" to Pizza Hut).

            We had pancakes and latkes at the Original Pancake House (which was delicious and beautiful but very crowded), dinner at Chili's, and a bet going on.  The bet was that the sibling who has the messier apartment (judged by the parents) has to wear a dress without pants; stockings and shorts, yes, but not pants.  Unfortunately, my sister called it off because it would've been too cold for a dress; secretly, I think it's because she knew she lost and didn't want to wear the dress.  That's my sis for ya: hipster-crafty-sly nutcase who loves me.

            On our way to Virginia, we stopped at a Roy Rogers (which is where I found out bitchmode was engaged), before continuing on.  One petrol refill and a pit stop (bathroom break) later, we were facing bad traffic; there was traffic from an accident, and the traffic caused another accident.  It was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?!"  I swore it almost resembled my standing in line in order to stand in line for standing in yet another line for Parafest 2013.  Visited my grandfather, who was doing pretty well.  I had a small Thanksgiving dinner with him, enjoyed chocolate cream pie, hot chocolate, some donuts, some spoilage, etc, before we headed home, with a side trip to an Easy Spirit store and Pepperidge Farm outlet store that sells overstock and dinner at Red Robin with endless root beer floats!

            My rating: 87% pleasant overall!

I Brought Out the Snark: My Annoyance Sounds Like Stand-Up Material

            Frustrations piled up on top of each other this past Monday, to the point where I decided to bring out the snark.  It was mostly silly snarky stuff that only made me lose 2 followers, who wound up being losers.  Which is a win for me: I HAVE GENUINE FOLLOWERS!  Some of which might be dead accounts.

            So, for your enjoyment, here's a couple of the tweets I posted:

Even though it was #misguidedfundraising, I HAD TO PAY OUT THE NOSE! Hope the library has enough hand sanitizer!
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) December 3, 2013

If you can't handle the snark, go ahead and stop following me. I mean it, stop following me, stalkers--i have radar, i can see you.
— Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) December 3, 2013

I ENJOYED MY BURRITO!  Because It Was An Excellent Day!

            Technically, it was a couple of Eden-tastic tacos, but Wednesday was truly an excellent day, with lunch at Moe's southwestern grille.  Oh, and Mom danced in the street.  It was an agreement between the two of us, but it was very satisfying; but she also said that once my apartment gets even better, she'll do a better dance in the street--QUEST ACCEPTED, MOTHER!

            For anyone not in the loop, "enjoying your burrito" is a Nerdist thing: it stemmed from the Rainn Wilson podcast episode and it talks about living in the moment.  I suggest you give it a listen, because it can really help you get a new spiritual perspective on life (Wilson really is very spiritual, which is probably why he does Soul Pancakes--A YouTube thing I don't pay attention to.  He's actually insightful and pretty cool, though!)

Life List: Because My Life Needs More to It Than Managing My Dwelling

            If you have been paying attention to my Twitter feed on Thursday (Dec. 5 2013), you'll notice that I've been trying to put together a life list.  It's kind of like a bucket list but a little bit different.  The best way to describe it is with Jenny "The Bloggess" Lawson's tweet.  Yes, she replied to me--#SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!  I did fansquirrel a little at that moment, so THANK YOU, JENNY!

@LadyEden1337 @EducatorDalek @CaliforniaDalek You submit your life list. If a company decides to sponsor it you have to write about it.
— TheBloggess (@TheBloggess) December 6, 2013

            So, for example, if I wanted to go to Japan on a trip and do various things, and someone decides to sponsor the trip (like a tourism board, por examplar), I can do it--but I'll have to write about it, like on the site that allows people to share their stories from the trip, and perhaps a blog post.  The Bloggess did one with Australia, and it sounded like fun, if frolicking in a continent-country that started out as a British penal colony and is now home to megaspiders (*shuddershudder*) is fun.  But the haunted places are interesting!  Not to mention I could also hang with my YouTube buddy The Fat Aussie Barstard. (NSFW NSFK)

            Yes, a 23 year old hanging with a cursing old man--that isn't creepy at all.  #sarcasm  (Stated for Mom and Dad if they're reading this.)

            So, with the idea of having new things to blog about (and to make my life and my blog more interesting), I figured I could draft up my own life list before submitting it.  I managed to make it to page 3 before running out of ideas…  Let me know what you think…

Ø  Ride horseback through Sleepy Hollow as the Headless Horseman of Washington Irving's tales on Halloween Night (big idea, possible; I've even ridden horses before…but not at full gallop! >_< but it would make an epic birthday present!)

Ø  Investigate a haunted location with my sister, her boyfriend (which is optional) and the Ghost Adventures Crew (I know of a few that are in my area.  It's just a question of them saying yes or no; and when I say, "them," I mean both the sibling party and the GAC.)

Ø  Do some modeling sort of photoshoots:

v At Columncile (or however it's spelled; The Bloggess' Red Dress thing?)

v At Greyfriars Cemetery in Edinburgh, Scotland

v In the Graveyard District of New Orleans, Louisiana (in character?)

v Steampunk/Industrial style (perhaps my own designs?) inside an old abandoned/not-in-use-since-100-years-ago warehouse or factory.

v Goth style inside of a Gothic nightclub or cathedral; one that SHOULD have a throne in it, and a fancy-looking goblet.  Details, details!

v Poe-inspired in the Parisian Catacombs

Ø  Visit France (Paris, Mont-St-Michel, Monaco, the Catacombs of Paris, etc.)

Ø  Own a truly haunted item (without the negative energies, preferably)

Ø  Throw, and DJ at, a legal and safe rave (with new Tripp pants that fit me)

Ø  Visit Chernobyl with my Russian Internet friend Yuri

Ø  Help Mom feed penguins!  (Because I love her!)

Ø  Dress Dad up as Spock and attend conventions with him. (For shits and giggles)

Ø  Attend a proper ball with Benedict Cumberbatch (from Sherlock; SQUEEGASMIC!)

Ø  Beat the Halo Tricks peeps (especially CMNeir and Tacoriffic) at Halo and League of Legends.  And traditional UNO, just because!

Ø  Attend the Olympics, PAX Prime, PAX East, E3, San Diego Comic Con, Parafest, and Scarefest (with VIP passes to the cons, preferably)

Ø  Visit Japan (Tokyo, Kyoto, stay at a traditional inn, visit the hanging forests, get the samurai and geisha experiences, get a kimono, etc.  Smuggle their rice out of the country.)

Ø  Visit the Vatican with Mom; meet and receive a blessing from the Pope

Ø  Get locked inside with the Cardinals during Conclave (swingability questionable; if we could do it, then MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!)

Ø  Have my art hang in the Capitol and the White House (again, questionable)

Ø  Go inside the Fort Knox "gold safe" (would need to deal with getting POTUS's permission and stuff.)

Ø  Go inside Area 51 without getting shot and/or killed and/or arrested

Ø  Get an official family crest and tartan, perhaps even a tapestry

Ø  Get a full loom so I can start up weaving again (ain't cheap, y'all!)

            I think life lists should be longer than this, I really do.  Which is why I'm going to consider suggestions from you, my wonderful readers!  Just comment on the Google+ post's thread with the hashtag #LifeListSuggestions or, if you're on Twitter, just tweet @LadyEden1337 with the same hashtag, #LifeListSuggestions.  As for Facebook, you can leave a comment on the Facebook link post's comment section--but only if we're friended, and I reserve the right to ignore friend requests from people I think might be creepers.

            Don't worry, that's just the legitimate paranoia talking.  I also plan on doing a ton of blog posts soon, once I get them drafted (because it's faster than typing it straight into Blogger; it took an hour to do the Doctor Who review straight onto my parents' laptop):

Ø  A review of the all-suite hotel I stayed at while on holiday

Ø  Christmas shopping/crafting gift ideas

Ø  A Christmas music mixtape for those of us who are sick of the songs on the radio stations that only play Christmas music this time of the year

Ø  A review of The Nerdist Way by Chris Hardwick

Ø  Blog post drafts that I never got to publishing yet (maybe)

Ø  The usual other reviews, rants and updates

Which brings us to the point where I leave you wishing for more of my excellent words!  Don't worry, I'll still be on the Interwebz, tweeting and watching videos and perusing the megabytes of delicious nerdtastic awesomeness that make up the ThinkGeek and EntertainmentEarth websites.  If not, I'll be reading that book and figuring out my life with Hardwick's help, along with Jesse and my sister and her boyfriend if I get confused by the roleplaying character creation stuff.  (You don't mind, do you?  Providing you're not busy or sick or asleep?  Please? ♥ )

            Anyways, I shall leave you to enjoy this Lolcat picture, and until the next post gets published, ENJOY YOUR BURRITO!  Or taco or nachos or pizza or cake or pie!  Or whatever else it is that you love to consume by inserting it into your mouth-hole, masticating and digesting it!

            P.S. I'm also working on getting back to taking my medications.  I've noticed that I'm happier and less angry and I curse less in my blogs while I'm medicated.  Anti-antidepressant peoples, here's the reason why I should take them--If I do not take them, I'll be like this kitteh here:

I rest my case.