A Second Existential Crisis: The Scary Question About the Human Race

            Yeah!  A new blog post!  Wanna think about it?  Try my Psybient Chillscape playlist that is a couple of days and a few minutes long in total playtime!  Chillax a ton!  Expand your consciousness!  Huh?  Oh, no, wait, it's a blog post, not an acid trip.

            Just recently, I've had another bit of existential angst on the scale of the human species.  It's not that it's a bad thing, it's something that probably everyone should think deeply about, while they do repetitive boring tasks or are spending time by themselves doing nothing that will risk their lives (like operating machinery or driving or patrolling for trouble if you're one of the cops out there).  Say, perhaps 5 minutes at a time on your smoke breaks.  That should work….

Cue the Imperial March—HEAVY METAL STYLE!……

             Anyways, this has only popped up in my head during a shower a few weeks ago on Monday evening (on February 9th, 2015).  It was like my brain just decided to open up a corner of my mind I prefer not to frolic through, mostly because it's a bit too dark.  And from that corner in all of her Sith glory emerged Darth Eden, the dark side of my humanity that I insist on suppressing.  And it was not a good thing at all; in fact, this is proof that I should medicate more often, to prevent Darth Eden from ever even seeing the light of day, or night, or evening, or whatever time I arise from my comatose sleep; she can still exist, but she shouldn't ever take an active role in my life because I want to be a good person.  Anyways, with Darth selves come dark questions, and this moment was no exception: Darth Eden just emerged while I was shampooing my hair and, simultaneously, pondering the validity of the moral and ethical conflicts that arise from deciding who should die—the chimpanzee or the little person being attacked by said chimpanzee.  ("Schwaaaaaaaa?  Where did THIS come from?!"  Listen to Nerdist Podcast episode #130,"Penn and Teller."  The link for the impatient ones is also available.)  And without skipping a beat, while I decided to try and drop the mental dilemma, Darth Eden asked with evil eyes aglow, "Why should the human race as a whole exist the way it is now? With all its faults and issues and the conflicts that we currently have?"

            That frightened me so much that I just HAD to reach out to my friends and my tweeps.  And it also helped to remind me that they are simply awesome weirdos just like me who totally get me!  So, major POINTS(!) to them!

The Questions of a Young Padawan to Jedi Master Leonidas

            First, let's start with a response from my friend Jesse, who I absolutely SWEAR is the Jedi Master version of Leonidas!  He was wise, he totally understood where I was coming from, and he's a Spartan!  Really!  (Ever heard of the Spartan Race?  I think that once I become a ninja Jedi, I should run in it!  *adds to list of currently unlikely dreams*)  His responses were really insightful and what's also interesting is that he thought that my question was so good that he shared the conversation on Facebook:

A friend of mine, Eden Pyrithea, asked me a question that had come to her mind, and its a good one, and we had a conversation about it and i thought i should post it here because i do believe every word i said to her"Should we humans, as a whole, exist the way we are?"i thought about my answer for a while before responding, "No, we should exist and work daily to improve ourselves and the universe around us. Simple acts can lead to mighty changes. Go speak at a town meeting on views that you believe in, volunteer at a soup kitchen to help those less fortunate then you and make the world, and the universe a better place""Huh. What about the general current human state There are evil people who live inside of the lies they spread." was her next question"They only exist in power because we allow them to. So by beginning a small movement that can then become a large movement you can resist them, a perfect example would be Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his dream.""But they carry influence like we carry mass.""Only because we allow them to. I think a time will come, and sooner than some think, that we as a people will rise above things like hate and greed to become the utopia Gene Roddenberry believed we could"and yes i do believe we could be as great as The Great Bird of the Galaxy thought we could be, but its up to us to start finding small ways to help each other. Like my thoughts or not, but i will stand by them to the end.

            He's right, though it does seem a little frustrating.  There are so many good people in the world, but there are all these larger-than-myself issues such as war and ISIS and the anti-vaccine bullcrap (as well as the anti-autism fears people have related to it) and us having a really corrupt Congress (and possibly POTUS if the antichrist twins Koch brothers succeed in buying the election) that, despite each drop into the bucket of liquid influence causing a small ripple, I just want to kick the whole bucket over, spilling its contents, shaking up everything to the point where people can finally figure out what really works and helps everyone vs. what doesn't.  But maybe once I start attending town hall meetings and speaking out on issues that I'm passionate about, my drops of influence could become rocks that get bigger and bigger.  I should become more patient.  And I probably shouldn't be so impatient; as Mahatma Ghandi once said:

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

            Perhaps maybe the world could change quicker and for the better if we work together….

Into the Twitterverse: When You've Found "YOUR TWEEPLE"!

             Another good friend could be one you have met online through Twitter.  Fellow Nerd @LisaR_M (who is actually a hardcore Chris Hardwick fan, but not to the groupie level that @DiHard11 is at) was able to provide some insight of her own.  Here is her series of tweets that helped me onto the path of personal enlightenment:

@LadyEden1337 What are you thinking about that’s scary? Murdering somebody? Committing the unpardonable sin? Doing something perverted?
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015

@LadyEden1337 Ah, big picture existential angst. That’s a “Let go and let God” situation. Or insert whatever your higher power is.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015

@LadyEden1337 All of life is a paradox. It’s always a take the good with the bad situation. There can never be perfect people.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015

@LadyEden1337 And you have to watch your ego. It’s tempting to think you know what’s best for everyone but you’re not omniscient
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015

@LadyEden1337 The issue you're having with the bullshitters is a clashing of egos. Instead of judging them try to learn from them.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015

@LadyEden1337 :) I’ve thought a lot about this stuff. It’s exhausting sometimes that's why I avoid politics & try to let it go.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015

            I was able to take to heart the "ego check" one, because sometimes, when you're on the Autism Spectrum, you don't always think of the world through a perspective outside of your own.  This (in my case, especially) often leads to moments where you feel as though you have all the answers!  ALL OF THEM!  Including the Answer to Life , the Universe and Everything!  (That one is easy to obtain; just read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and ask, "What is 6 times 7?")

            It does get frustrating at times, and she's right: we shouldn't think that way.  Even if you're not on the Spectrum, if you're just a nerd, it's still the same principle.  Chris Hardwick has already pointed this out on page 105 in a subsection titled "The Third Reaction" in his book The Nerdist Way, saying, "Nerds know they're smarty-pantses—in fact, it's part of how they define themselves, so sometimes we come from a place of 'everyone is stupid but me.'  This is shitty and wrong.  It also leads to spontaneous emotional reactions to situations rather than calm, well-thought-out ones."  So, as a member of this community of differently-wired persons, we should work on understanding what makes sense to other people, instead of dismissing it as "utter crap".  In fact, that's what I'm adding to my XP goal chart: "Understanding and Communication," because I know that once I understand where my debate opponents (like the anti-vaccine….. *struggling* people) are coming from, I can communicate my way around their defenses to see if I can help them open up to (at the very LEAST) healthy discussions that are highly educational for both sides of an issue.  This is also made difficult because everyone understands something their own way and are often convinced that they know the "truth" behind certain topics; and everyone living their life as a story, and they are the hero of it, regardless of whether other people regard them as heroes or villains.

            (Small parenthetical paragraph note: Another great way to help people get a better understanding of Autistic Spectrum Disorders is to talk to us!!!!  So often are we excluded from the conversation that I'm sure there is misinformation out there, provided by people who are thought to be the voices of the "autistic people," when they're not really speaking for us, but rather for themselves.  Yes, this includes Autism Speaks; they don't really pay attention to what we're figuratively saying.  Just talk to us or ask us about ASDs and living independently!  We can answer questions!  Either tweet to me or to @chromesthesia; we can give you insight!)

            So, as I was saying, I was given pearls of wisdom that I'll be fashioning into Earrings of +20 Wisdom, thanks to my friends.  And it has led me to perhaps what the goal would be for the world.

My Hopes for the World in Commercials

            This discussion about humanity has led me to having hope for the future of the human race; it's not a very big anti-vampire spotlight of hope, because it's a lot of work to set forth a giant tidal wave of change.  But now that I typed that sentence, I am realizing that I shouldn't work on creating a tidal wave, but rather just create my own small waves that will erode at this rock of evil that I see before me.  And I can do it similarly to this commercialfrom Liberty Mutual:

One way to start, just hold the door open for the person entering or exiting the building you're entering or exiting from, or keeping to the sides of the grocery aisles, shopping cart and all.

            Maybe once that gets going, we can live life like these adorable animals in this Android commercial that has been making the rounds of the advertsphere:

In any case, I should enjoy what I can, taking the good stuff to heart and cherishing it emotionally while leading the bad stuff to my mental laboratory to analyze it, determine if it's an endeavour to take on with the experience I have or to pass on it, buying more time to learn about the issue that is staring at everyone in the face.

            (And can I point out that we have a time limit here?  I mean, come on!  Asteroid Apophisis coming!  TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK!!!)

            In any case, I hope you agree with me on this and have decided to join me on this journey towards world improvement.  And to make the journey more enjoyable, why don't we ride a burrito boat?  JUST BECAUSE!  Heehee!  In the meantime, enjoy your mindful tacquito!

New Year, New Post—and Old Battles Still Being Fought on Twitter

            Happy New Year, y'all!  It's 2015 and EVERYTHING SUCKS already!  *sniffles*  Sorry, just went through a hard time, and still doing so; I'll explain why when the time is right.  However, I have a few things to express.  First of all, I have a few goals for this year: EDUCATE people about how vaccines do NOT cause Autistic Spectrum Disorders AT ALL(!); explore how humanity is getting worse and worse (especially American society and government); how ghosts MAY exist or how your brain can trick you; celebrating science and positive changes being made in the world, etc!  I'll also continue to review books, movies, television shows, and continue to nerd my pants over certain shows and celebrities.  I plan to lose mass (at least better than I have been last year—it fell apart from lack of momentum!) and become more confident, and I have an even better reason to do so now (the hard time stuff).

            Anyways, I should also add that what happened with the satirical magazine in France is TRAGIC!  ISIS is a group full of assholes and they should be EXTERMINATED!  They retaliated in the wrong manner in response to a cartoon that was published by a SATIRICAL newspaper!  The following tweets express my feelings:

Oi, France: je regrette pour votre defauts. Je pleure avec vous tous! #notafraid #pardonmybadFrench
— Lady Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) January 8, 2015

I have no words for the tragedy in France, in French or English. Except that i'm pretty sure the ISIS idiots don't know what "satire" means.
— Lady Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) January 8, 2015

            I am Charlie, and I'm not afraid!  (More will be expressed on my DeviantArt page….)

            Anyways, onwards to this blog entry's topic: Celebrities, Trolling and the Schedule Conflicts of Television!  For the optional theme song, check out the Steve Angello x Jacques Lu Cont remix of Depeche Mode's "Soothe My Soul":

Two Shows I Nerd My Pants Over, One Time Slot (Porno, Anyone?)

            So, yeah, that subheading title is a reference towards that Two Girls, One Cup porno (which should NEVER be watched or googled), but it's in regards to a dilemma I decided to tweet about, tagging Adam Savage of MythBusters on Discovery Channel, and Zak Bagans of Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel:

Grrr! I'm having a hard time deciding on what to watch, between @MythBusters and @GhostAdventures for Sat 9pm EST! @donttrythis @Zak_Bagans
— Lady Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) January 8, 2015

            I did not expect to get a response….but I totally DID!!!!  From Adam Savage—SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!  His response was almost typical because I expected something along the lines of "MythBusters because we're real."  I did NOT expect the fans' reactions!  My cell phone (Obamaphone, free unlimited text messaging, I get mentions, direct messages, favorites and retweets directly on my phone through text message…) started blowing up with responses!  A ton are funny, but a lot were REALLY uncalled for!  I can't just embed them ALL into my blog post at once because that's a LOT of tweets to embed and it makes the blog post here TOO DAMN LONG!!!!  So, I've decided to Storify it…..

            Those last few tweets bashing on Adam is just really dickish!  Since when is it okay to tweet to an influential someone to say, "FUCK YOU!  I'm never watching your show again!  Your an asshole!  Suck a dick and go die from a demon attack at Bobby Mackey's!"  (For your information, I would NEVER endorse the last one!  Bobby Mackey's, if you're unfamiliar with their reputation beyond being a country club already, is really infested with demons!  These dickhead demonic entities are really nasty to the point where if you ever mention Zak Bagans' name inside that place, you get attacked!  It's really insanely bad energy inside there, and to suggest to a skeptic to go in there, mouth running off with insults and saying Zak's name over and over is irresponsible, mean, dickheaded, immoral, and all out WRONG!  Especially if they did not have any experience with a demonic entity scratching you, insulting you, trying to possess you, oppression and attachment, etc.  It's a real danger—which is why I vehemently CONDEMN such a response!)

            Has anyone ever heard  of Wheaton's Law?  Anyone?  If you're that good of a nerd, you'll already know it by heart, but I'll share it here as a refresher:

DON'T BE A DICK!!!!!!

It was first stated by Wil Wheaton (friendly co-performer at W00tstock to Adam Savage) to his team at PAX one year, and before long, it was being quoted in forums and on websites and it earned the name "Wheaton's Law," and it's a REALLY GOOD LAW TO HAVE!  In fact, when I was in Nerf Club at college, when we first drafted up the rules, Wheaton's Law was Rule #1; Rule #2 was "Always follow Rule #1!"

            So, when one is a fan of Ghost Adventures and MythBusters and reads Adam's tweet, they're obviously going to take it a bit too personally, assuming that it's negating their beliefs in an afterlife.  Granted, Adam is a definite skeptic, and he doesn't believe in ghosts and demons and what-not, but to raise a stink over a single tweet?!  That's immature and ridiculous!  I'm sure that Adam did NOT mean it like that at all (then again, he could have—I don't know for sure; I also am not affiliated with him in any way beyond being a fan of his and MythBusters), but don't call him a cunt and a dick and an asshole just because he shared his opinion and input in response to my dilemma to ME.

Let's Break It Down!  *Beatboxes*

            MythBusters is an excellent show, promoting critical thinking and applying common sense to life so that you don't have to spend time and energy worrying about something that isn't true or factual (i.e., water heater explosions, earthquake survival, the JATO rocket Darwin Award myth), and learn what it takes for things to be real, as well as being surprised by things that are real.  So, even though Adam isn't, as Phil Plait would put it, a "classically trained scientist," he still has experience with the Hollywood special effects tricks of the trade, being able to bust myths that stem from movies, television shows, etc.  And who (besides terrorists) can go wrong with explosions?!  That cement truck just disappeared like Alderaan!  So, even though the show's name is "MythBusters," it's not proof that they're "fake"!  It's a short, easy title that describes EXACTLY what they do: they bust myths!  Also, they're based in San Francisco; Hollywood is a "little" TOO FAR SOUTH to be where they're at!  (However, if they want to take a field trip there, they certainly can!)

            As for Ghost Adventures, it's not a show that "looks for ghosts," the way Finding Bigfoot tries to find a Sasquatch; it's actually a show that is all about gathering evidence in support of  proving the existence of ghosts, as well as researching what a ghost could be, and even possibly helping homeowners or property owners and their families and friends realize that they aren't crazy!!!  Or that what they're afraid of really isn't dangerous at all.  So that weird feeling that trolls get in their pants when tweeting their rage at Adam with misspellings and all isn't a ghost; it's just them cranking one out from being a dick (thereby violating Wheaton's Law).  It's obvious that a lot of fans love this show, especially since the members of the investigation crew are the producers, the camera crew, the host, etc.; they created the show, they film the show themselves, there's no glamour or Hollywood involved—it's raw, it's real, it's almost indie and very, very organic.  Stemming from a self-shot documentary from the early-mid naughties (2000-2009), this is also a way to help boost tourism to certain locations, which helps generate revenue for the locations and tax dollars for the cities and states these are all located in.

            Also, I should point out that the science labs aren't the places that are haunted, it's these places such as the Washoe Club, the Winchester Mystery House, the Sun Inn located in Bethlehem, PA, etc.  And any good scientist should know that if you can't create this situation in the lab to study, you should conduct a field study.  So, discounting ghosts completely without fully investigating the culture and approaches and the evidence is just…..I don't have a word to describe it, but it's equivalent to mixing up, "close-minded, presumptive," and either "fearful of the results" or "lazy".  And don't assume that one show was running longer than the other: Ghost Adventures started airing in 2008, and MythBusters definitely started earlier than that, with 10 YEARS under their belt!  So, they both have a ton of positive points.  So, tweeting, "FUCK U!" to someone really isn't the way to go…..

Ethical Criticism: Why the Internet Has a Larger Underbelly Than It Should

            Most hate-tweets are very unproductive and have a total lack of class and character.  Criticism is helpful because it allows people to improve in the areas that are addressed.  However, haters and trolls just do it to be a dick.  Trolls gonna troll, haters are gonna hate, and even them Sontaran taters are gonna tate, no matter what.  BUT, you can ditch these labels and provide tweets that are better constructed.  Adam won't listen to "EAT A DICK!" (I received this tweet directly; my response was, "As long as it's not yours!") but it's very likely that instead of allowing your emotions to be in charge of your twitter feed, you provide a calmer response that goes along the lines of "I disagree with your statement, because…"

            Bad: "Ghost Adventures is REAL!  So, fuck you, loser!"
            Good: "I disagree: it's real because….."

            Bad: "You're an asshole!  I'm never watching your show again!"
            Good: "I now feel like my beliefs have been devalued.  Thanks!"

            I hope everyone gets this, because I don't ever want to cover this topic ever again!  We have the ability to use a wide range of words that will make us sound educated; why not use it?  (Flame wars are pointless; don't engage in them!)

Diffusing the Rage

            As many of the tweets have suggested, several Ghost Adventures fans believe that Mr. Adam Savage should go on Ghost Adventures to prove his point.  "Why?  It'll just be a waste of time!"  How would you know that if you've never conducted an experiment to prove or disprove this hypothesis?  The only way to prove that it's a waste of time is to 1.) Be patient and 2.) just join Zak and crew on a lockdown.  Just make sure that it's the Ghost Adventures Crew, and not some other paranormal investigation crew, because if it's someone else, the camera crew might be allowed in, and their job would be to film the talent, not the evidence or activity.  So, if it's just Zak, Nick, Aaron, Billy, and Jay, with the camera crew hanging out at nerve center, there's less contamination, and a better likelihood of capturing evidence that isn't easily debunked.

            So, I agree: Adam Savage should go on a full 12-hour lockdown with the GAC on their show, and try to debunk the evidence if he would wish to.  At least he'll know (without assuming anything) that ghosts do exist, and that Ghost Adventures isn't fiction.

            But I'm very sure that I've said all I needed to say, and that it seems like I should start taking cover before the bullets start flying between the fans of Mythbusters who are hardcore skeptics of ghosts, and the fans of Ghost Adventures who are hardcore skeptics of skeptics!  (HA!  See what I did there?!)  In the meantime, keep it cool, keep yourself warm, enjoy your tacquitos, and above all, DON'T BE A DICK!!!!!

            *dons dragonskin vest and other armor, then takes cover in a warm bunker!*

Contagion—Part Deux: The RECKONING (Or The Vaccination Recommendation)

            I know it's been a while since I posted that rant about wisdom teeth and their lack of valid purpose, but I had take the time to recuperate and clean my apartment.  Which I did.  A lot.  By sleeping in and taking the proper amount of pain pills and getting hooked on the new CBS docudrama </scorpion>, after Mom refused to let me watch FOX's Sleepy Hollow on their LCD HDTV.  But the break was worth it, even though the Pre-Op Gremlin Diet was a pain in the ass, I had to chew on one side of my mouth for a while, there was no liquid diet (so as to not let my jaw lock up, according to the doctor) and I'm stuck being round with no way of getting a Nutritional Counselor through the Adult Autism Waiver.  Yippee.

            On the bright side, I now have a real doctor (a Primary Care Provider and not a pediatrician, if you will) and he's genuinely concerned about my health.  And after the initial new patient appointment, I'm ready for this year's flu season.  And if I'm ready, and you're not ready, well….you're fucked because I'm not going to be your nursemaid unless I'm the only healthy person left in the world and left with no choice.  Especially if you're against vaccinations for various reasons; which brings me to offering this (optional) full Contagion soundtrack for this blog post on the importance of vaccines, Autistic Spectrum Disorders not being caused by them, and how everyone is panicking over frickin' Ebola.

            If you're like me, you rely on modern medicine and science to keep you alive and healthy for a lot longer than the Dark Ages of childhood.  Seriously, science has been advancing medicine and medical practices to the point where we can treat diseases with proper procedures and improve the outlook of cancer patients without the application of bloodletting and establishment of haunted quarantine facilities located on islands made of human ash (*cough, cough, whisper* Povegliaaaaaaa…..).  Anyways, unless you have a compromised immune system that requires careful monitoring and drug cocktails that turn druggies green with envy (and nausea), we're doing great!  Mostly….  Unfortunately, there are always crackpots (on pot) spouting bullshit from both ends.

            Let's address the first issue: the Ebola Panic Pandemic!

E-BOLA: Not Just a Bowling-Themed Computer Virus

            Lately, there has been a lot of uncertainty with a particular virus that manifested in Western Africa.  Ebola has been the subject of news channels for the past few days (maybe even weeks), and with the help of idiots of the Fox News Channel, panic is being spread faster than the flu virus in a room full of phlegmers.  Seriously, just tune in at any point of the day and you'll see them talking about either ISIS (a valid concern, but only if it's without the Obama Blame-a-thon) or the Ebola virus, saying that it'll make you bleed from every orifice, that it will cause delirium, that it will make your dick sprout wings and fly off!!!!  (Thank you, South Park gluten episode, for that joke.)  Seriously, the experts are saying that it's not super, super, super airborne contagious, Fox News Idiots!  Why continue with the fear-mongering even after their repeated statements that basically translate to "CHILL DA FUCK OUT"?!

            And before the conspiracy theorists start flooding the comments box with statements of, "They are just saying that to make it so you can get sick and the doctors and medical practitioners and pharmaceutical companies can get a lot of business and profit from this outbreak," please do yourself a favor and read the fucking Hippocratic Oath carefully; lying to hurt us or get us sick is a violation of that oath.  I kid you not, it is often believed that part of that oath says, "I will do no harm."  Any deliberate actions to cause harm (even to make money off of it, though most of the money comes from the insurance companies) is considered malpractice.  Or fraud.  Or something along those lines—Dr. Drew, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, back me up here, please!

            So, even though there was one case of Ebola in Dallas, Texas (and many more in Africa), I doubt that it's going to spread like zombie wildfire.  There could be one other person, but only if they have been exposed to an Ebola-infected individual's bodily fluids, including but not limited to blood, feces, urine, or spit.  Just calm down, breathe and stop reading WebMD; you'll just freak out more.  (That goes double—no, triple for you, Jenny Lawson!)  Unless you're a doctor or nurse, stay away from yellow people you see bleeding weirdly—and call emergency services, because even though they appear to be the victim of the Horseman of Pestilence, they're still human and deserve a fair chance at surviving this illness.  (Unfortunately, it's too late to save the Simpsons' universe; they're all jaundiced!  OH MY DAVROS, THEY ALL HAVE CANCER!!!!!)

            Which reminds me: who is the last person to touch my hand sanitizer?!  *flails*

Vaccinations: A Good Defense Makes a Mighty Fine and Painful Offense

            Vac∙cine—n. (vak'-sēn) a modified and hence harmless virus or other microorganism for inoculation to produce immunity to a disease by stimulating antibody production.

Yeah, that definition excerpt is from the Webster's Universal English Dictionary that I got as a gift one Christmas.  It's been handy for looking up words I don't understand or want to share the definition of.  And this definition definitely has the demand for sharing.

            Ever since the dawn of the commercially available Interwebz, there has been a rise in a virulent strain of crazy people who insist that vaccines are more harmful to children (and other people) than the illness it "supposedly" helps the population create an immunity in response to.  I'm serious, with Jenny McCarthy (Wow, that name sounds familiar!) writing books (that get published) about how she "discovered" the "link" between autism and vaccines—which is complete bullshit—there has been a rise in stubborn ignorance and stupidity!  And I'm on the Autism Spectrum; I can verify how bullshitty this reasoning is!

            Let's start from the beginning: I have an Autistic Spectrum Disorder diagnosis of Asperger's (under DSM-IV, and I can keep it thanks to the fine print in DSM-V); up until now, only about….90?.....people know I have it, including family members and friends.  (Due to this, I'm also a recipient of services through the Adult Autism Waiver—YAY GOVERNMENT!  But that's not what we're here to discuss.)  And since the diagnosis, we (meaning family members in addition to myself) have been able to identify that I inherited the genetic trait from my father.  Yes, my father has an undiagnosed case of Asperger's; why else do you think I call him the non-Leonard Nimoy, non-Zachary Quinto Mr. Spock?  But if you take a closer look, it's possible to trace that back to his father (my grandfather), who believes he, too, has Asperger's.  So, yes, Autistic Spectrum Disorders have a genetic root in all this mystery—but that's not the entire answer to this Paladin-level puzzle people have been trying to put together for years.  It could be caused by something in the environment, the amount of oxygen we're getting at birth, etc.  So far, we don't know what the source is—we're still looking for it.

            But with the Internet came false information: "Vaccines have chemicals and harmfullevels of lead that WILL cause your kid to get autism!"  It is to the best of my (probably faulty) knowledge from an English college course that this theory came from a fraudulent research paper, with a message popularized by Jenny McCarthy and Oprah and the series premiere of Eli Stone (remember that TV series?)—truth be told, the whole damn cake was a lie!  And yet, the idea spread and connected like-minded vaxxers to create this movement based on this lie.  And after a while, there are now Autism organizations that are working to promote this idea and saying, "Let's get rid of vaccines for good!"

            Everyone.  Please.  Cue the facepalms.

            How about we set this allll straight?  First of all, lead in vaccines is completely bullshit to me.  The FDA and whatever other organizations that are in charge of regulating drugs that require injection is not going to let any drug onto the market if it has any harmful levels of lead in it, including levels that  "cause autism."  Not to mention that I have no idea if any other drugs or chemicals cause autism or Autistic Spectrum Disorders.  From what I've learned, it's not about the blocking of chemicals to certain areas of the brain like lead can (Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey episode 7, "The Clean Room"), but rather a different way of wiring the brain.  We think differently, process information differently, express ourselves differently from neurotypical (NT) people due to this "faulty" wiring.  And even though it's frustrating to a lot of people (especially mothers like mine), it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with us—we're just a lot more different from everyone else.

            But anyways, vaccines do serve a real purpose.  It helps your body identify what viruses and bacteria are not good for your cells and organs to metabolize.  Once identified and eradicated, the body then knows (how) to produce the correct antibody for that particular virus or bacteria so you don't wind up hospitalized and getting your food and air through a fucking tube shoved down your throat.  This way, you can't get SUPER sick from flu or chicken pox, measles, mumps, rubella, smallpox….   For a while, these diseases were only found in the virus vaults of the Centers for Disease Control and developing nations.  Now, with the anti-vaccine bullshit spreading through the masses faster than Bubonic Plague at the Olympics in Autumn, they are making a comeback.  Which is not good, because not only will we get sick (from POLIO—DO YOU WANTPOLIO?!) at worse levels and intensities, but it will also mean that Mama Squirrel's contribution is completely moot.  She was one of the vaccine pioneers, which makes her sound older than she really is, but I'm pretty sure that she is part Gallifreyan, so she can't really age like you and I do.  The only people who shouldn't get a vaccine are the ones with compromised immune systems for whatever reason: immunosuppressants, HIV and AIDS, etc.

            In the end, the fear of having a child with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder should NEVER take priority over keeping yourself and your family healthy (and alive).  Besides, what is there to fear?

Neurodiversity: When It's OKAY to Have Autism

            So, to quickly recap, Autistic Spectrum Disorders are a bunch of "disorders" that vary in symptoms and intensity, is NOT caused by vaccines, and has more to do with neurology than the immune system.  Oh, and I should mention that there is no cure for this.  (It's also NOT caused by Ebola, for the confused readers.)  No diet (gluten-free or otherwise) is going to heal/cure/"manage" the symptoms of an ASD, no matter what the vaxxers and gluten-phobes claim.  Seriously, I think y'all are crazy for saying, "OMG, GLUTEN-FREE PRODUCTS, I NEED YOU!"  I'm sure that soon, there will be markets for "gluten-free" toilet paper, underwear, feminine supplies, condoms, soap, cars, houses, tanks full of oxygen…..  Please don't start that; I'm forbidding anyone from using this "idea" (read: crap) as an excuse to keep the phobia alive.

            Much like pi, this fear is irrational, and it doesn't seem to end……

            Anyways, people haven't exactly understood what it means to have an ASD; growing up (and going through hell school) in a small town in the middle of FUCKING NOWHERE (in a place that Verizon can't seem to find on the map), I was ostracized by about 85% of the student population for being different this way.  At first, I couldn't understand why, but now we know; it was a tough battle to get the diagnosis, though, as I didn't get it until I was 15 and in high school. (What's worse is that it was initially "Asperger's tendencies"—what a way to half-ass your practice, Dr. [name hidden]!)

            Anyways, yes: we're socially awkward, we're highly intelligent, we can have laser focus on topics of interest…..which is funny, because isn't that the definition of being a nerd????  Oh my Davros, it actually is!  Nerdism can have neurological and developmental causes!  Clinical nerdism—what a breakthrough!  I should totally blog/talk about this—at another time!

            Well, besides that, there are a lot of us on the Spectrum who find it very difficult to think of living without an ASD.  It is a part of us, a part of our identity, a part of who we are.  Yes, ASDs have their drawbacks (which sometimes makes it frustrating to interact with the members of society on the spectrum), but it doesn't mean that ASDs are a bad thing to have; it's simply a different way of functioning in the world.  However, it also doesn't mean that ASDs are what define us as who we are: we have them; it doesn't mean that we ARE the disability, that they have us in their tight grip and there's no hope for us.  There are lots of resources out there that can help you understand your daughter/son/sister/brother, and it isn't really that hard to accept ASDs as a part of life: You have to live with it, rather than suffer from it.

            Acceptance is the first step.  That's what's key to being a happy parent of a child who's on the spectrum: just accept it.  I'm not asking for you to surrender (actually, I sort of am, but only by a factor of 5%), but rather to realize how you can't create the perfect child; so they have an ASD—so what?  Do you see any Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding through the streets?  Is the diagnosis of an ASD so earth-shattering that it literally causes an earthquake in your area that registers at 12.0 on the Richter scale?  Is it so horrifying to have an ASD that it's akin to terminal cancer or lupus?  (Is it Obama's fault?  Is it the work of the Freemasons or the Illuminati?)  The correct answer is: HELL NO!  All it means is that you should learn how to speak their language and understand them on a deeper level.

            (Also, any diagnosis of an ASD should be double-checked.  That's what second opinions are for!)

Medical Dalek says "VACCINATE!"

            So, let's wrap this up: FOR FUCK'S SAKE, JUST GET THE VACCINES!  There should be legitimate medical reasons why you shouldn't, like real allergies to eggs or any other ingredient in the vaccine, or compromised immune system, or some other legitimate issue.  (I do not consider money to be a legitimate issue; there are places out there—and I'm referring to "outside of my home base but still in America"—that offer free vaccines.  I'm serious!  Even my college, Marshall University with their free basic healthcare for full-time students, would hold free flu shot clinics for the students every year.  Just locate one near you, and go there!)

            As for the whole "fear of needles," that's a bit understandable: it can hurt, it's frightening, etc.  But I've had to deal with needles my whole life (most recently with an IV needle for my oral surgery) for medical reasons.  I can tell you from experience: all you're going to feel is a painful pinch, and then it's over.  If you need to, bring a good friend.  But you can do it!  I believe in you, even though I don't really know you!

Good places to check out for more information:

~Bad Astronomer:  He's a blogger, a skeptic, a pro-vaccine critic, a scientist, an astronomer, a nerd, an all-around smart and funny dude, and he's worked on the Hubble Telescope—SQUEE!!!  He can weed out the bullshit and get you the truth.

~Centers for Disease Control: They're the master experts in America on infectious diseases and other sick-making stuff.  'Nuff said.

~Mayo Clinic: More top-notch medical people.  (Warning: their pages cast a negative light over ASDs.)
~Autism Speaks: Even though I initially thought that this organization was anti-vaccine, I took a look and I was wrong.  However, I'm still a little leery...but I recommend them!

            That's all I can come up with for now.  Let's just hope that the Ebola virus doesn't evolve into a zombie virus and DESTROY US ALLLLL!  (If you're a zombie, I'm sorry: just stay the hell away from me and my human colony.)

            In the meantime, ENJOY YOUR HEALTHY EBOLA-FREE NOT-SICK TAQUITO!!!

Rant-Rant-Ranty-Rant: When Your Teeth Get Stupid

            Yeah.  I know, it's a rant about something as small as "wisdom teeth."  But I have a few thoughts I'd like to share about the topic.  Seriously, I do!  Some of it is me voicing concern over being given general anesthesia, some of it is about how I have to fast before the surgery, but I hope that I'll give it a humorous spin.  Be warned: there is media in this post, so it's best that it gets loaded up on a laptop or desktop computer with a cable/wire/whatever connection.  It's also best not to be eating when reading this post….

            As for the optional theme song, it's "Hard Trance Techno Rave Music" by trancElovE.

            I've never expected this to happen to me; I just hoped that I didn't have to deal with this issue.  Unfortunately, my biology just laughed in my face with my own mouth.  In fact, it only started one or two days before I found out: my right lower wisdom tooth (which is number 32, in case you're a dental professional) was hurting so bad that I couldn't even sleep.  When I got up and talked to my parents that morning, I was terrified: what if they had to yank it out right there at the dentist's office?!?!?!  I was not mentally prepared for any of it!  Although I admit it's not my first rodeo—it's my second and I'm still not any better at it: my two front teeth had to be removed in two halves, the second being oral surgery with Novacain.  I hated it, since it involved the use of a scalpel inside my mouth!  (Sorry for the visualization, there.)  That and with Mama Squirrel's recommendation, I insisted on general anesthesia.  And with every choice, there are consequences: a whole new hellish hand basket of dread was delivered straight to me because I've never been anesthetized that way before.  But let me shed some light on the teeth themselves.

Unintelligent Design: Why Not Call Them Stupid Teeth???

            There's a lot of debate over how we got to be this way: Creationism vs. Evolution, Intelligent Design vs. Natural Selection, etc.  Of course, there is a shit ton of scientific evidence that tells us we evolved from monkeys, who might not be so thrilled about the connection:

Evolution is a FLAWED THEORY. There is NO WAY humans are genetically linked to monkeys. That idea is OFFENSIVE. -monkeys
— Joss Whedon (@josswhedon) September 17, 2014

And yet, we aren't perfectly evolved (Disproving Intelligent Design: why design us with these medical flaws, for fuck's sake?!), which brings me to this brilliant counterpoint from Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson: Unintelligent Design.  There are so many things wrong with us, and some of them were outlined by Dr. Tyson in the 277thepisode of the Nerdist Podcast.

            First off, what's going on between our legs?!  We've got an entertainment complex in between two sewage systems.  It's unsanitary and we have to use our hands to keep ourselves clean in that area, which is also inefficient.  That and there's a ton of foliage in that area!  It's gross and stuff, seriously.

            Secondly, we eat, drink and breathe through the same hole in our human faces!  This ensures that a percentage of us humans choke to death on what we consume.  Not with dolphins: they eat and breathe through two different holes in their body, which means that they'll win in a sardine-eating contest!  But even then, if we don't find an early exit from life, we live 80 years on average; in spite of this, we die from starvation in 8 weeks, we die of dehydration in 3-8 days, and we die from asphyxiation (suffocation) in 8 minutes.  We're fragile human beings who fall prey to many illnesses that are the result of this chemical and biological balance being off inside our bodies.  Too many cells in one spot causing a riot is cancer; not enough endorphins being produced in our brains leads to depression; too much stomach acid leads to acid reflux disease.  If we're so "perfectly designed," then why do we have this happen to us?

            Then we have our "useless" body parts: the appendix is not really needed in these days, and yet, we all have them, thanks to our ancestors hunting for whatever food they can get.  There was no cooking in those days, no discerning bones from muscles and feathers and fur and scales and whatnot, so they would eat the entire animal, including the parts that give us no nutritional benefit.  That's where the appendix would come in: it creates a sort of acid that helps the remaining solids (bones, beak, feathers, fur, etc.) dissolve so it doesn't hurt them when it comes out the other end.  (All together now: EWWWWW!!!!)  But now it's quite useless, as the appendix, being completely BORED, will sometimes malfunction and burst—appendicitis, which can only be resolved with surgical removal.  The gallbladder stores whatever the liver produces, even though the liver can perform the same functions as the gallbladder.  Tonsils would have to come out when we get tonsillitis, but nothing is as much of a pain as wisdom teeth.

            Why have wisdom teeth?  They're the farthest back on our lower jaw, and we don't even get them to come through until we hit our later years, well after we lose all our baby teeth.  But they aren't perfect in their emergence: 90% of all people have at least on wisdom tooth come in impacted, or at an angle, pushing against the molars next to them, causing pain and infection, perhaps even damage to the adjacent teeth.  There could even be a cyst that forms, which is even worse.  Yes, it's common as fuck, but here's another issue: why not just remove them at an earlier age?  These teeth are easier to remove when the patient is younger, since their roots are not completely formed, and the surrounding bone is softer than in your early 20s; not only that, there is less of a chance of damaging nerves and other structures nearby.  (Source: pamphlet I got from my consultation appointment.)  Thanks, AAOMS, for taking the wait-and-see approach.

            One more point to make: why call them "wisdom teeth" when they come in incorrectly?  When I first went in to my dentist's office, I made the joke of my wisdom teeth being "unwise".  This body part, in my opinion, is completely stupid.  They have no current purpose except to be a pain in the ass, causing problems for 90% of all people, which can only be put an end to by way of oral fucking SURGERY!  That's why I want them to be renamed as "stupid teeth," because there is no point to them in today's world.  Not to mention how many drugs are involved with treatment.

Anesthesia: The "Fun Part"

            I've never done illegal drugs, I'm prescribed medication for depression/anxiety and my ADD (squirreliness), and I don't like not knowing what my brain is doing, and even just being unconscious with people doing surgical procedures on me makes me anxious.  I'm just not prepared for that idea.

            That and me going like this after waking up:

I'm terrified of having a panic attack and freaking out like that.  Seriously, the loopiness, albeit fun for my parents, is frightening to me as I don't know how much control I have; my pre-frontal cortex could be affected in ways I do not know if I like it or not.  What also sucks is that I have to go into Gremlin Mode the very night before; I'll wind up hungry and cranky and panicked and anxious and stuff—I'll be a total mess, trying to find my copy of Let's Pretend This Never Happened and re-reading the chapter titled "Draw Me A Fucking Dog."  It'll be a total trip, for sure.

            That and I better have a milkshake waiting for me after I'm awake and mobile!  (I'm going to look for milkshake and smoothie recipes after this and the next time I'm online.  Suggestions are appreciated!   Just tweet them to me with the hashtag #SmoothieSquirrel!)

            At this point, I think it's best to look at it as a nap I so desperately need, followed by a liquid diet I hope to extend into a week-and-a-half.  Again, not my first rodeo: I was on a liquid diet before, and I lost a lot of mass that way.  Not that liquid diets are the ideal solution for "weight" loss.  I'll update you as best as I can, and I appreciate you reading this blog, but it could be a while before I post anything again.  My next post might wind up being the week after, but who knows?  #RECUPERATE

            In any case, ENJOY YOUR BURRITO MILKSHAKE!

Life On Hoth: When Snow Just Keeps Inviting Its Relatives

            I know I promised y'all my friend's guest blog post, but for technical reasons, he wasn't exactly able to make a draft for me.  Not to mention he has a job now, so he'll have less time to do the post.  So, I suggest that we all wait patiently for him as I share my bullshit with you to tide you over until then.  The optional theme song for this week is a Red Hot Chili Peppers "Snow" Remix.

            If you haven't read my post about the Polar Vortex from earlier this year that made just being outside completely dangerous, I suggest you PAUSE on reading this current post in order to catch up on weather issues.

            All caught up now?  Good.  *AHEM!*

            Being a resident of the Northeastern (specifically Mid-Atlantic) region of the United States does have its perks a bit, mostly because we actually get all four seasons: Spring, Summer, Autumn/Fall, and Winter actually take place here.  I've experienced heat waves, the odd stray hurricane, freezing cold and snow, as well as unusual weather patterns such as tornadoes north of me in the mountains and the unusual declaration from school of "flood days".  But right now, everything seems off balance thanks to the fuckers who are not helping us at least slow down the global warming we have inflicted upon the planet.  Not only do we have more and more dangerously hot weather every Summer (which should just be called Tatooine season at this rate), but now we are facing a ridiculous Winter.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that this is why Punxsutawney Phil, the famous meteorological groundhog of PA, predicted 6 moreweeks of winter (would should just be called Hoth season at this point); I actually did wonder why he "saw his shadow", but now I know:

WE'RE NOW GETTING FUCKED IN THE FACE BY SNOWSTORMS EVERY WEEK!!!

Yes, first it was the Polar Vortex in early January; then it was Winter Storm Pax last week (which is pretty funny because it not only is Latin for "peace," but it's also the name of some gaming conventions that happen periodically every year, with PAX Prime in Seattle, PAX East Boston and now PAX Australia!), and this past weekend it's another storm called Winter Storm Quintus, which I'm sure was named after the Pennsylvania Lottery game known as Quinto!

            Since when is it okay to advertise by having snow storms be named after what you're trying to sell?  Since when is it okay to control the DAVROS-DAMN weather?!?!  I'm frustrated and tired and coming up with ridiculous conspiracy theories, because, now, the snow isn't going away!  People are barely shoveling sidewalks, putting down salt, and not giving a fuck about bus stops I use!  And that's not the only danger!

Life On Hoth Just Got a Little More Dangerous

            We've faced below freezing temperatures, sleet, freezing rain, snow, thundersnow, rain, frostbite dangers, and driving winds.  At a couple of points, it was colder here in the U.S. than in Sochi, Russia, where the Olympic Winter Games are being held (or were held if you're reading this in the future)!  But now there's another couple of issues that are not exactly being covered in the news just yet.

            For one, we've got structural damage to buildings, which is hurting business!  Yes, I said structural damage, but only because a building in Easton, PA (or its surrounding neighborhoods) has actually started to (or already did) collapse under the weight of the snow that refused to melt!  We're also running out of room to put it all!  Seriously, Mother Nature, can't you give us a fucking break?  Or did someone steal Sean Connery's weather machine and fuck around with it, making us suffer the consequences?

            You see, deep down at its core, EVERYTHING is made of the same "stuff," which scientists call matter or mass.  And you can't really just erase matter from existence; it can be transformed from one state to another, converted into energy and back, but it can't be destroyed or removed from existence all together; it just stacks itself upon itself.  All we can do with this STUFF that is currently called "snow" and "ice" is to move it, mostly onto bigger and bigger piles of snow and ice.  We're running out of room to put the snow so it can stay out of the way!  In fact, I just recently found out from sources of mine that on Saturday, February 15, 2014, the city of Bethlehem, PA, closed off part of Main St. that runs through downtown in order to remove a giant nuisance pile of snow by way of two backhoes and a dump truck!  They even closed off the bridge that goes into that section!  Which isn't helpful considering that the historic Hotel Bethlehem (complete with its own room with a "boo") is RIGHT THERE!

            One woman I've chatted with about the weather while riding home on the bus actually asked if the snow is being dumped into the river that separates South Side Bethlehem from the rest of the city.  I am not sure about this info, but I'm kind of leery about it.  You see, streets are indeed made from asphalt, but it's also often soaked in petroleum products, like oil and whatnot.  This "street-oil" is actually what lends cause to a driving phenomenon known as hydroplaning, where the car just slides along the surface of the street in wet weather with loss of traction and some control, mostly because oil tends to float on the water that seeps into the asphalt whenever it rains and lubricate the surface even further.  So, if you're plowing snow out of the way, you're also scraping up not only pieces of asphalt but this oily residue stuff with the snow.  Which means that it might not actually be safe to be dumping into the water, I fear.

            (Also, yellow snow is an issue, but it's easily identifiable, and not as prevalent as a problem.)

            But another issue with the added mass of snow that isn't melting or going anywhere at the moment is the combined weight of it.  You see, you have layers of snow and ice and snow and ice not just landing in the streets and on top of cars, but also on top of buildings.  It's not necessary to remove snow from the rooftops—that is, unless the structure of the building is unable to hold the weight of the snow.

            Just this past Tuesday (February 18, 2014), a carousel building at the old, abandoned, historic, hard-to-restore amusement park known as Bushkill Park actually collapsed under the weight of the snow.  I kid you not, I was like, "NOOOOO!" because I actually went there and skated at the roller rink!  It's like, your favorite tree on your property getting cut down and it stings quite a bit because it was a part of your life.  At least the carousel wasn't damaged and nobody was hurt; in fact, the carousel wasn't even there: it was sold a long time ago already, according to my half-Vulcan Spockish father.

            I also heard from him that fairly recently, in the Bethlehem area, the 24-hour Wegman's off of Center St. had a collapse scare.  One day, the manager showed up to work to find out that the steel pillars of +25 roof support that are located throughout the store have started to flex "near the roof"!  I'm not making this up!  He actually freaked out a bit and said, "WE  NEED THIS CHECKED OUT!"  The fire department showed up and kicked everybody out for safety reasons!  The store was closed for 17 hours (overnight) while the employees and manager had to wait for an assessment of the structure by an inspector.  The inspector said that the place will hold the weight, despite the weirdness of FLEXING STEEL POLES (that aren't from Poland; sorry for the stupid pun), and they reopened at 2:30 PM EST on Sunday, February 16th, reassuring everyone that it will be okay.  However, I'm typing this while having images in my head of that Wegman's being the center of a story about how an inspector gave the green light on the structural safety, only to have the building collapse days later with some casualties.  Of course, this was out of concern thanks to media influence sensationalizing such stories and making it near impossible to think "Just fucking trust the inspector," without thinking about the possibility of false structural positives turning into bad news for people working in that building as it collapses onto their heads.

            So I beg you, with this in mind, BE CAREFUL!  Make sure that the tops of your cars, trucks, buses, SUVs, etc, are cleared off so you don't wind up killing people with frozen blocks of snow falling off the roof of the vehicles/shipping containers/buses on bridges only to slam into the cars trying to pass underneath.  Stay warm, and make sure you keep an extra supply of tauntauns on hand and share if people need them!

BONUS!  Ascent of the Cubes: A Way to Make Sure You Don't Go to Bed On Time

Oh, my...Davros/Cthulhu!  This poster is full of WIN!

            Just recently, I've been listening to one particular episode of the Nerdist podcast over and over (because I enjoyed it a lot), with Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson as the guest.  And in the episode, he described higher spacial dimensionality.  Please, allow me to share his ideas so that you may experience the liquification of your brain!

CLICK HERE TO EXPLORE THE ASCENT OF THE CUBES!!!!

            Once you've listened to that, let's take it further: if the four-dimensional cube has eight three-dimensional cubes as boundaries, isn't the five-dimensional cube bounded by ten four-dimensional cubes, which each have eight three-dimensional cubes as boundaries?  *offers tissues for bleeding noses and painkillers for readers who can't quite grasp that concept*  It's so crazy to think about!

            Anyways, I shall leave you writhing in agony like that, while I go hunt down some chocolate to celebrate a belated Singles Awareness Day by myself.  Please don't hate me for making your brain constipated.

            ENJOY YOUR FIVE-DIMENSIONAL TACQUITOS! #boobs #EXCELSIOR!