Monday, January 12, 2015

The Lives of Stephen Hawking, and of Subatomic Particles

            Hi, y'all!  Yes, I said y'all—I blame my time is West Virginia for that.

            Anyways, I'm back, still ducking my head from that flame war I was quite privy to whenever people are trying to criticize scientifically-and-humorously-minded and CONFIRMED SKEPTIC Adam Savage of MythBusters, mostly due to how I was still being tagged in all those tweets.  It's not that I regret doing it; I'd totally do it again, but with two separate differences: First, I'd NOT tag Adam Savage and Zak Bagans directly in the tweet again; Second, if I did tag them and Adam responded in the same way, I'd text my family and friends that I can't text right now, if you need to talk, CALL ME OR WAIT, while plugging my silenced cell phone into the charger due to an oncoming FLAME WAR.  *facepalms*  At least I learned something from this experience, and, as a bonus, figured out a contingency plan so I don't have to suffer ever again.  At least  I was able to feature the HILARIOUS tweets!  Note to hardcore paranormal-til-death Ghost Adventures fans: Adam Savage is a CONFIRMED SKEPTIC and prone to making assumptions, so don't get your panties in a twist any time a CONFIMED SKEPTIC says something negative about one of our favorite series, and also, if you're going to flame someone, at least make it funny, so I don't have to feel shitty inside, like the guilt just left its muddy fingerprints all along the lining of my intestines, stomach and soul—I HATE THAT FEELING!

            Aside from that issue, I figured that I should continue on with my blog, by featuring "The Edge" by Nigel John Stanford as this post's optional theme song:

Hawking: The Discovery Dramatization Show Where I'm Sure of the Existence of a Friendship Between Stephen Hawking and Benedict Cumberbatch—Translation: SQUEE!

            You guessed it: being a fan of science, I'm going to talk about Discovery's recent broadcast/airing of the 110-minute dramatized documentary of Stephen Hawking's earlier life (in this case, life in college), and his discovery of the Big Bang, as well as his battle with another noted-at-the-time scientist over the universe being in a perpetual static state vs. the ever-changing state that we now know it is.  I also tweeted about the "battle" between religion and science:

            But I loved it!  I loved how Mr. Benedict Cumberbatch (*said with a bit of British class*) was able to portray him, how he was able to carry across the struggles that Dr. Hawking had at the time, how he was able to be profound and smart and classy and brilliant and fighting a battle that he was not expected to win in a role that was only mirrored by Eddie Redmayne in the movie The Theory of Everything.  It was beautiful!  In fact, because of all this, I decided to look up tweets that tagged this feature film and include them here:

            Extra-special double-unicorn magical thanks to Jenny The Bloggess Lawson for introducing me to Storify in her blogs.

          So, yes: I really was sure that there is a friendship between (*British class*) Benedict Cumberbatch and Dr. Stephen Hawking (*clears throat, resuming to normal*), because I had recently watched Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking on DVD (meaning, I did it last year) and noticed that Benedict Cumberbatch did voiceover for him on that DVD!  It could also be that Mr. Cumberbatch did an excellent job as Adam Turing in The Imitation Game, leading to his casting, but it's too much of a coincidence for that to be true!  *CONSPIRATORIAL FACIAL EXPRESSION*

            Overall rating: 6,000 beautiful nebulae out of 10 stars!  Or if you want it in Dalek terms, it'd be 60 plungers out of ten!  (The 6,000 is a reference to Creationism being stupid by denying the evidence of the trillions of years that the universe actually IS, with its birth being the Big Bang.)

            From Astrophysics to quantum physics-and-mechanics, I just had a really interesting and weird thought about protons and electrons and the Force of Star Wars!

What the F*ck Are They Thinking?  The Inter-Subatomic Particle Dialogue of the Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons

            So, yes, I tend to be a bit a crazy, quite weird, in a lovable and fun way that I'm very sure isn't annoying (*pointed glare at hometown*), but I did have a recent thought that pretty much was Shinto or Animist in principle, but it was on the scale of atoms: what the hell are protons and electrons thinking?!

            I'm sure that it goes like this:

~Protons (+, the Jedi): We're the good guys!  We balance out the bad guys, we want the universe to be good, because we're positively charged!  Yays, positivity!  Come here, electrons, so we can f*ck with you in multiple ways!

~Electrons (-, the Sith): We're the real good guys!  We provide the real balance in the universe because whenever , and even though we are smaller than our positive counterparts that like to stick together in the nucleus, where it's "nice and safe" with the Strong Force keeping them all together, we're free to orbit around them, messing with their Up particles and Down particles, and we're behind the formation of molecules with other elements!

~Protons (+): No, WE'RE behind those formations!

~Electrons (-): NUH-UH!

~Neutrons (o): *munches on popcorn* This is interesting, so we're just gonna sit around and watch.  We ain't taking sides, so….you're on your own, here, boys and girls.  We also have good cheese here, and manufacture awesome watches.

~Electrons (-): But…but….they're so….stuck together and stuff!

~Protons (+): Yeah, but you like to move only in straight lines!  It's no wonder the cool dudes at CERN picked us to be in their Large Hadron Collider!

~Neutrons (o): *Chris Hardwick voice* Points to the Protons!  Also to the Electrons because we don't take sides, we're just here, partying in different isotopes.

            You get the idea.

            And then I had that tiny bit of an "Ah-ha!" moment: the electromagnetic force is the Force in Star Wars!  I mean, come on!  Emperor Palpatine was able to shoot lightning from his fingers to wrongfully kill the badass Mace Windu (who wants his motherfucking Sith off of his motherfucking ship!!!), but that's what electrons do!  I mean, come on!  If anything, Disney shouldn't ever kill off all the Sith, because it will throw the Star Wars universe out of balance!  I mean it!  Get to tweeting at or emailing to JJ Abrams, because he HAS to keep this in mind!  It's not too late to save Star Wars!

            Huh?  Am I doing this JJ Abrams thing?  No, I'm just watching you guys do it.  *munches on the Neutrons' popcorn*  Because this is interesting….  What do you mean, which side am I on?  I've already picked between the Light Side and the Dark Side!  I'm a Grey Jedi and I'm proud of it!

            So, if any astrophysicists or particle physicists, or quantum physicists want to start complaining, go ahead.  I just want you to say, "What if protons, neutrons and electrons could talk?  What would they say?"  I'd love to see Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Phil Plait aka Bad Astronomer, the ghost of Carl Sagan, Dr. Stephen Hawking, Leighann Lord, Chuck Nice, Eugene Mirman, Chris Hardwick, Matt Mira, and Seth MacFarlane provide their input on this.  Yes, that's an invitation to discuss this, y'all.  I'll be expecting to hear from you soon (if you would just please, please, please talk about this and then get back to me!   PLEASE!)

            So, yeah.  Not sure what else to say, except to check out Diane Martin's Di-Hard Podcast.  Because she's awesome and hilarious.  And a band-o—YAY MARCHING BAND!!!  And  to listen to StarTalkRadio, to watch StarTalk TV on National Geographic, check out both MythBusters and Ghost Adventures, and to buy the Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey DVD/Blu-Ray because SCIENCE!  (#neilwithit)

            With that, I shall leave you with this picture.  Enjoy it, AND YOUR TACQUITOS!

P.S. In case you REALLY wanted a showdown between MythBusters and the paranormal, here's one of those Epic Rap Battles ofHistory!

NOW, we're done!  So, please, STOP TWEETING ADAM ABOUT IT!  *ninja-poofs!*