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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

The Twelfth Hour Tolls: A Review of "Deep Breath," Capaldi's First Full Episode as the Doctor

            If you're reading this, you might've guessed that I was just scrambling into my seat at the computer, cracking my knuckles, warming up my plunger and whisk, and started engaging in furious writing, eager to share my thoughts, theories and reactions to a new face taking up the role of our most famous and beloved alien time traveler.  And for that, I have brought you the Rogue Dubstep remix of "Clocks" by Coldplay as the optional theme song for this review!


            Once again, our beloved Gallifreyan time-traveling (formerly raggedy) madman Doctor has regenerated, leaving us floundering in painful tears as we try latching upon ANY REASON to love the new "Clock Doc" (as I like to call him)!  And after the few episodes of stale writing left us with a thirst for fresher excitement of the Doctor's adventures, it seemed that we were in need of a new face to refresh the flavor of the series.  Obviously, they went with Peter Capaldi (who himself is a Whovian—THANK GOODNESS!  No need to trust someone who's a stranger to the tales of the Whoniverse!), not because he would be good over the long run, but because they just needed to go in a different direction: a worn-down alien whose been a little reset with a face recalled from his Tennant days in ancient Pompeii and a Scottish accent with angry eyebrows!  Not to mention that I'm pretty sure new memes were born that night!

            Which brings me to my first point:

The Theatrical Entrance of the Two Temporal Travelers


            A Tyrannosaurus Rex in Victorian England choking on the TARDIS…..  Finally, the writer(s) redeemed themselves at Whovian storytelling!  Because nowhere else can there be such an entrance!  NOWHERE!  DO YOU HEAR/READ ME, NETWORK TELEVISION?!  NOWHERE!!!!!  *plungersmacks self*  Sorry, a little ranty, a lot squirrelly during drafting (especially since Fox is doing "Gracepoint," the bastardized/Americanized version of Broadchurch that is apparently what mainstream America is allergic to, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!).  But this introduction and quite a few funny moments really make up for the floppiness in the last Christmas episode, The Time of the Doctor (which I was able to tolerate watching again, noticing a few references to previous Doctors that I haven't seen before).

            Secondly…..

Character Analysis: The WHO in "Doctor Who"

(Shuddup, critics!)

            The new Doctor is definitely a little more callous, a bit more insensitive and definitely less relatable in an alien kind of way, like, "I'm an ALIEN, with non-ginger kidneys!"  Lots of memories seem to have faded from his mind, and he is less cuddly.  He is a little more angry, and he's got the eyebrows to match!  To me, in that scene in the "escape pod," which turns out to be—SPOILER ALERT!—a skin balloon, he also seems to be a wee bit a of a drinker; I have very few memories, in my time of being a new-gen Whovian ("new-gen" meaning having come into the Whovian "fandom"—hate that word—during the series reboot), of seeing the Doctor with a glass of anything alcoholic ON SCREEN!  Anyways, he seems to dislike the human race quite a bit, much like Eccleston's Doctor (number 9), according to Diane (found on Twitter at @DiHard11).  Capaldi also seems to have difficulty expressing that whole manic, hyper, young, rapid thinking Smith's Doc (#11) had.  He is HAWT in that Kuroshitsuji-esque-butler-looking-but-still-an-outfit-that-can-stand-on-its-own suit ensemble, but another downside (despite the non-ginger kidneys) is that he's a spitter.  YUCK!  I hate that, I just do; in fact, going to one of the worst case scenarios, hawking a "loogie" makes me gag, having suffered through seeing many in high school water fountains and hearing the sound over and over again.  *shudders*  #HighSchoolNightmares

            As for the companion, Clara is still clever, able to think on her feet (or horizontally on her back/front/either side), but the usually sassy confidence was definitely shaken with the change of face and personality.  It was obvious in the beginning, and certainly towards the end, but we were all going through that, enduring the Whovian's Cycle of Regeneration Reaction.  And I can relate to that; in fact, in the aftershow After Who Live, hosted by Chris Hardwick (Wow, is this the reason for the @midnight hiatus?  Answer: NO.), a few celebrity guests (specifically, Wil Wheaton, Alton Brown, Mark Gatiss, et al.) discussed how the companion can be expressing the same emotions we were feeling, which is true: the companion is the audience's avatar in the Whoniverse, albeit one we can't control all the time unless it's in fanfiction written to satisfy our inner desires.  (*eyebrow waggle*)  But Clara still delivered her usual Impossible Girl charisma, talents and skills, looking hawt in Victorian era clothing and delivering a kind of emotionally fueled banter, reflecting our thoughts of "Who is he now?"  (She could be a Bond Girl!  Somebody, please!  Contact Time Lord 007 and inform him of this!)  It is a shame, though, that Jenna Louise-Coleman will be leaving the series by Christmastime, which begs the question: how will she leave?  Will she be killed off, like all her other selves?  Or will she be disembarking at her final destination, with the possibility of a return during some sort of huge epic special episode like Martha Jones and Rose Tyler?  This discussion must be held!

            With these two paired up, and aided by Madame Vastra, her wife Jenny, and Strax (the potato clone with a craving for war and battles and glory, LIKE A POTATO KLINGON!), they were able to provide the core of the episode, the A(liens)-Team that were able to fight what's wrong.  They also were able to provide a LOT of hilarious moments and new memes!  I believe some were tweeted about….







I loved the term "Planet of the Pudding Brains," especially since it could make a GREAT t-shirt!  And the moments with Vastra knocking out the Clock Doc in that way, Strax doing the whole "here's some 'clean' water," and medical examination thing, as well as knocking out Clara with the newspaper and going through the whole "dip him in acid" bit—all that had me cracking up, laughing so hard (much like Phil "Bad Astronomer" Plait did that one time....) that I was worried I was going to wake up my neighbors!  I can't watch it again and again without laughing!

            And, finally….

The Plot—TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD, But Not Really…..


            The plot actually works: grand, hilarious entrance and whole identity crisis, mixed together with the issue of clockwork androids that remind you of Girl In the Fireplace, and the base consisting of the audience waiting for the "I am the Doctor," moment just seems to make it work well like a thoroughly-blended smoothie.  Or perfect-thickness milkshake—I say milkshake, because I like milkshakes better; it's just a matter of preference, I say!  Not to mention the well-done scenes of Clara struggling to hold her breath and passing out, the flashbacks, the lead clock-droid, any other scenes you may like—this one is for the "Excellent Episodes" pile, especially with the new TARDIS interior!  I didn't notice the new windows and I'm pretty sure that the TARDIS is sporting a fresher coat of blue paint, but there are new round things inside (YAY, ROUND THINGS!), and a library area in the main control room, with more seats throughout!  MOAR YAYS, BUT FOR SEATS!  Though, I might add complaints from others such as my parents (classic Whovians, from the Tom Baker era) and Reppy the Republican Dalek, as well as the Deviants in Deviant Art's Devart chat later on after initially posting this review.

            However, questions abound with SPOILERS!  First of all, where the hell is that "promised land," looking a hell of a lot like MY Garden?  Is it part of the TARDIS?  And who is this Missy chick?  I can totally get an Evil vibe from her (even though she's a fictional character; yes, I know, Dad.), but the ethics (Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic) axis is questionable.  There may be an underlying motive for it, and the brief disappearance of the Doctor after the initial conflict raises even more questions, which doesn't help his alibi in regards to this new problem.  I think my current (at the time of publishing this blog post) theory for this story arc can be best expressed in my tweet:


And I loved seeing that familiar face at the end!!!!  It helped make that transition easier on us Whovians!  Well, me definitely; others probably want to speak for themselves.  And when that took place, I could, then, see the previous Doctor in the Clock Doc!  That was quite helpful, and I loved it; I hope this happens again in the future regenerations of Doctor Who!  I also loved After Who Live!  I hope it continues throughout the season; especially since I can see how much of a workaholic Hardwick is—yet another project to add to his pile: @midnight, Nerdist Industries and Podcast, All Star Bowling, and Talking Dead, to name a few.  I think he needs to be strapped down, sedated a wee bit, and given a massage!  IT'S NOT A KIDNAPPING BUT AN INTERVENTION, HARDWICK, BECAUSE ALL OUR POINTS ARE BELONG TO YOU!

            All in all, 4.5 plungers/TARDISes/sonic screwdrivers/Doctors out of 5!  And I hope that the accessory hand thing takes off like Doc Five's accessory celery.  These clockwork droids, along with Missy (and Miss Tasha Lem, Mother Superious of the Church of the Papal Mainframe/Church of Silence), would make GREAT costumes for a Doctor Who cosplay event that is going to take place next month (September 2014) in Bethlehem, PA (which is within my sector).  There are going to be cosplay groups coming from ALL OVER just for this event!  One of the main sponsors is one of my frequent haunts: The Underground Lair, the nerdshop that has "vintage" toys, items that the Santa Time Lord never gifted to you for Christmas in your childhood, games galore, Whovian merchandise and items that were crafted by local residents (whose species have yet to be determined), Potter-things, gay-pride items (all for you, NotGayDalek!), and other items that are for sale for a great price!  They are willing to purchase toys you want to get rid of or help you sell them for a certain percent of the price!  (They are not a pawn shop, therefore they will not haggle over the price they are willing to pay.  Don't even try; Dan told me so himself.)  I plan on being there, taking pictures and doing coverage for the blog and stuffs, but YOU SHOULD TRANSMAT OVER AND BE THERE, TOO!  Your attendance is required by the Sontaran-Dalek Alliance!  Let's make the streets of Bethlehem, PA, bleed TARDIS BLUEMWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  (For the record, it wasn't my idea, but I do like it and am allowing it to happen!)

            Anyways, I hope the improvements continue (despite the oddly different intro sequence; that's the reason why I call Capaldi's doc the Clock Doc; I mean, come on!  I loved the old smoky sort of timey-wimey wormhole temporal vortex!  But why have the intro focus on clocks?  It makes no sense to me at all!  But now's not the time to rant about it…), because I shall be a Whovian until I am nothing but a timeline in my giant TARDIS-tomb on Trenzalore!  And with that, in the present, Non-Greenwich meantime, I hope you enjoy your regenerated tacquitos!  Because they're Scottish with non-ginger kidneys in need of our love!



P.S.  The following tweet MUST BE EXPRESSED!  And retweeted and overshared!  BEHOLD!


P.P.S.  Where can I get one of those Team Adipose t-shirts?  I must acquire one straight away!  MY DEAR OOD!  I have a quest for you, and you must embark on it immediately for it to be completed (with autographs) in time for Christmas/my birthday!......  *zooms off on hoverbike*


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Confessions of the Tortured Artist: Why Depression Really Matters

            Greetings, readers, with a somber and hollow voice full of sadness.  I understand that you are eager to see what I have to say about Musikfest 2014, but the sharing of Festy fun must wait out of respect for a comedic icon.  Fear not, I will share my adventures, but not this week.  This week is all about losing people to the act of suicide after they fall prey to the lies that depression tells us all.  Which is why I put together this optional "Depression Lies" playlist (which has Blink-182 in it; my apologies to all the haters and hipsters who are rolling up their sleeves and cracking their knuckles to write scathing comments about my choice in music, even though "Adam's Song" does seem to reflect the suicidal thinking.  If you really don't like it at all, JUST HIT THE NEXT BUTTON!!!  Just don't say that I didn't warn you.)


            I'm sure that if you've been watching television yesterday afternoon/evening (August 11th, 2014, a day during which I was doing a bunch of appointment stuff), you may seen/heard a really heart-wrenching headline regarding a beloved comedian, artist and human being:


            I kid you not, this is seriously some sad news, especially regarding someone many comedians and entertainers look up to.  I enjoyed the entertainment he provided, and there has been a time when I'd be snorting with laughter at the blooper reel of movies he was in; I think it should be said that he just wasn't in blooper reels, as he was a living gag reel.  He'd joke a lot, just to make people smile and be silly.  And it wasn't until his passing and the initial release of information regarding his cause of death that many of us realized how truly human he actually was, and how much depth he truly has.  He didn't just act all "crazy" to get laughs out of us, but rather to make us laugh and forget about the pain we were feeling deep inside.  Robin Williams wasn't so much a comedic fool as he was an empathetic human who understood the pain of humanity and wanted to help make living less painful.

            I believe that the first time I saw him on screen was when he was playing that absentminded professor in the movie Flubber.  He was pretty good in that movie, but his comedy really blossomed in movies such as Man of the Year, and in interviews with people on television, which are as unpredictable as the weather!  He was much like Jenny Lawson without the anxiety and tendency to seem really awkward and weird (which many of us have), as he has let people see the wounds he was trying to heal, while still giving that air of "I'm okay, let's laugh about it."  He had an excellent sense of humor, providing a different, more positive light on serious matters, which allowed those issues to become more approachable.  (His IMDB page: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000245/?ref_=tt_ov_st

           Robin Williams, you made us laugh so hard we must've snorted so loudly bacon came out of our noses!  And I thank you for not only being unafraid of having an excellent sense of humor, but also for being so human in seeing our need to laugh and providing that reason that allows us to do so.  We love you and will miss you deeply.  Keep God laughing up there.

Depression and Its Endgame

             The death of Robin Williams (which I never really expected to be tertiary witness to as he seemed immortal and unshaken to many) really has helped spark a discussion that requires a need to help people realize that A.) depression is a real medical/neurological problem and must be treated as such, and B.) depression, suicide and mood disorders must have that stigma removed, that stigma that says something's wrong with people who have it and everyone should avoid talking about it like I-can't-say-anything-because-people-will-shy-away-from-me.  It's something that cannot get better when left alone; it's not just an emotional phase people go through, so "Cheer up," ain't helping even jack shit; it's something serious that can lead to physical problems such as obesity, heart disease, etc., which is why it shouldn't be ignored; and nobody can go through it alone.

            I, too, live with depression, which seems to enjoy having a fucked-up bullying hoedown with anxiety as its dance partner deep inside my brain for some reason.  It sucks that I have it; I'd rather not be subjected to the world having an overlying shade of blue to it, but it allows me to understand the darker side of life.  Having an anchor (or fifty-two) outside of myself really helps keep me from being down in the dumps: I'm not alone, people care about me and they are trying to help me.  In fact, with treatment, I'm able to get past that feeling of "THE WORLD IS ENDING BECAUSE I MISSED A THERAPY APPOINTMENT!" with the help of both my psychiatrist and my therapist, the latter being a brilliant witch doctor (read: psychologist) who is also a Whovian and a nerd.  I'm also fortunate to say that I have been able to bounce back from that point where even I have thought about taking my own life.  (At this point, it's not serious; I have not made plans, I have not written a suicide note.  It doesn't mean that it won't ever happen, but the likelihood of it happening is very low.)

            Now for an even tougher subject to chew on: suicide.  Taking one's own life out of desperation to escape the pain that people have been subjected to is not a selfish act.  Sure, it may seem selfish to many people (ahem…. Nick Groff of Ghost Adventures and Eric/Terial from Second Life), but a large percentage of suicide victims completed this painful act ("committed" makes it sound like it's a crime) because it seems to be the only answer left; people should keep in mind that these aren't  people going "I'm going to end it all just to spite these motherfuckers," (which is a really small percentage—I doubt that such a group exists but I'm sure it does.) or "You'll never be able to punish me!" (which is a visibly larger percentage than the "spite these motherfuckers" group) but are really people drowning inside of their own emotions, being overwhelmed with sadness, fear, anxiety and are just feeling hopeless and left with no other way out through the fog that clouds our minds.  People attempting suicide should still be approached cautiously by professionals (like cops and firefighters and licensed medical professionals) because they might be so desperate that they would wind up hurting/killing others just to achieve their goals.  But they need support, they need people to be there for them, rather than being abandoned because their actions pissed you off.

            Suicide is a real problem (as is self-injury).  Cyberbullying and bullying is one indirect cause of it as this activity can trigger depression; this pattern exists and it must be addressed.  Another point to make is that it's a real problem, especially in Japan (sorry, Japanese readers), where it got to the point where the word "suicide" is very taboo in the land of samurai and ninjas, which is why they refer to it as "human incident".  It's practically an epidemic over there and the Japanese government is doing whatever it takes to solve the problem, with measures that include training officers, medics and even Shinjuku station employees in such matters.  And yet, people are still throwing themselves into Mt. Fujiyama or completing such an act in the Hanging Forest (which Josh Gates and his crew from Destination Truth actually investigated for possible paranormal activity).  The Japanese sees it as a problem for sure; why can't the Americans?  It shouldn't be an epidemic to be addressed!

There's Still a Ray of Light In This Darkness

            There is help available for people suffering from depression (and/or anxiety), and there is a way out of the really dark corners of life.  For one, please: reach out for help.  Say, "Everything hurts and I need help," over and over in the best way you know how until someone listens.  Talk to someone you trust, like your parents or siblings or a neighbor or a religious/faith leader; let them know you need help.  I can say I'm extremely sure that they are more than willing to help you; if not, find someone else; keep looking until someone takes you seriously.

            Another couple of points to keep in mind is that you're not alone in this war and that DEPRESSION IS A MOTHERFUCKING LIAR!!!!  It tells you that you are worthless, incapable of handling and solving problems, that there is nothing to live for.  DON'T BELIEVE WHATEVER IT TELLS YOU!  It's the cyberbully that lives in your head and thrives on hopelessness.  In fact, that idea—"Depression lies"—is one of the many mottos Jenny "The Bloggess" Lawson has, as she shares her own inner struggles on her blog (which you should read and bookmark and subscribe to and stuffs because it's awesomes!).  It's become such a rallying call that many of her fans who relate to her battles with depression use it in their tweets as a hashtag, #DepressionLies.  I've used it myself, and in the process, got connected to such a sweetheart on Twitter; thanks for connecting with me, @kheliwud!  I look forward to many conversations with you in the future!


            If you are going through a mental health emergency, however, call 911 (or if you're in another country, contact the appropriate emergency responders) and reach out to someone.  It may be rough at first, but it will get better.

            Just put down the knife/gun/rope/pills/car keys, dear, so that no one will get hurt.

Suicide Prevention Internet Resources


            ~~ Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255 (US and Canada)

            ~~ Australia: https://www.lifeline.org.au/

            ~~ UK: http://www.samaritans.org/

            ~~ Bangladesh: http://www.shuni.org/en.php

        ~~ CDC on Depression: http://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/basics/mental-illness/depression.htm

        ~~ Mayo Clinic on Depression: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977

            If it's an immediate emergency, call 911 or the appropriate emergency responders!!!!


P.S.  One tip to get through less intense days (as in days where you're not in need of a permanent exit) is to construct a "Good Things list" and list the things in life that are positive in your life; it can be as simple as "I'M ALIVE" and "I'M OKAY" and "I did the dishes today," and "I finished my to-do list with time to spare!" and "I had fun changing the baby's diaper and now we're both laughing in the living room!"  I did it and it helps me have a buffer against the lower levels of that Pit of Despair many of us are stuck inside of, which is much like being in the Pit of Sarlacc only you don't get digested over thousands of years but rather just feel like you're losing more and more hope the deeper into the pit you go—and the Pit of Despair has a rope available for climbing out.

P.P.S.  I'd like to start a campaign on Twitter and Facebook and Google+ to get the hashtag #DepressionLies trending nationwide alongside Robin Williams.  It's time to get people to start talking, connecting and supporting each other.  We don't have to fight our battles alone; it's a lot easier for someone to fight depression alongside you.  LET'S GET THIS TOPIC TRENDING NOW!!!!!

P.P.P.S.  When in doubt, CATS!!!!!!



Saturday, July 26, 2014

The Unofficial Musikfest Survival Guide 2014

            Greetings, readers and newcomers!  If you're reading this, it's probably because you're either a regular reader or you're someone planning on attending Musikfest for any length of time (the whole Loki-damn festival runs annually; in 2014, it's from August 1st to August 10th).  Being a slightly experienced Musikfest attendee (Shut up, Spellcheck!), I figured I should give tips on how to survive it.  Just keep in mind that these tips will not help you in the event of zombie outbreak/riot/Dalek invasion/Cybermen invasion/Sontaran invasion/any other alien invasion/a beloved superhero going rogue/dragon attack/vampire attack/werewolf attack/Empire conquest/asteroid Apophis striking the immediate area/the Apocalypse (or Ragnarok if you prefer it that way).

            Also, I suggest you take these suggestions to heart so that you may further enjoy Musikfest without having some locals hate you.

Anyways, shall we begin or shall I continue to chatter the beginning away in silence?  Your optional blog post theme song for today is Deus Ex Human Revolution remix by defibrillator .music!


Beverages


            Yes, there will be booze among the drinks offered at the festival.  Which brings me to the tips under this category:
1.) Do not drink more than you can handle, so long as you're of age.  If you're underage, you should A.) stop reading this (because this is an R-Rated blog; believe me, I can see you, you chain-smoking hipster teen who's still in high school and totally under 18 years old), and B.) consider either water or soft drinks.  Because drinking illegally will only give you not only glares from me but also the likelihood of police involvement.

I should mention that even I take this to heart.  So you should, too; you don't want to wind up like the former regular who was banned from the Underground Lair, do you?

2.) The Musikfest Mugs are available each year, refillable, for use of consuming alcohol (usually), and it will cost you more than a regular-size drink.  And unless you are interested in collecting the different mugs, as the designs on the outside change from year to year, you do not have to buy one each year that you come!  It has been my experience that mugs from previous years are also allowed to be filled with your drink of choice.  Just heed rule #1, please!

            I have purchased one myself and used it for alcoholic beverages; that's how I found out that my limit is 24-oz. of non-tequila mixed drink. (I don't like many of the beers.  I've tried and tried, wound up mismatching the beer to the food, and at this point, I'm on the verge of giving up.)  If I do opt to drink a 24-oz sonic screwdriver or a 24-oz. Drunk Arnold Palmer (take the iced tea-lemonade mixture, spike it with vodka), I (as everyone should) will be careful with it, by eating before-hand, watching my pace, etc.  I do not want to wind up calling someone up and saying, "I'm drinking lots of water," three times in the same conversation again.  (Sorry, sis!)

3.) Keep hydrated!  Specifically not with outside water!  There are bottles of water available, as well as soft drinks and what-not at particular stalls at the festival, and beer/vodka/insert-liquor-of-choice-here does NOT hydrate you.  You'll just wind up passed out way before bedtime on the festival grounds with people staring at you.

4.) I don't think the ghost-kind-of spirits (as well as the living caretakers) of God's Acre and Nisky Hill Cemetery will appreciate the drunken debauchery on their graves.  Please avoid drinking, pissing, crapping, vomiting, polluting, and passing out in these locations, LEST THOU AND THY FAMILY BE CURSED!!!  (I am neither liable nor responsible for any actual applications of curses.  If you do get cursed, the onus falls on you for failing to apply common sense and self-restraint.  And no, I don't know where your car is; stop asking me.)

Transportation

             I shit you not, transportation (whether it's by vehicle or on foot) is always a problem at Musikfest!  And I hope to everything that people attending will be more careful this year!  Especially if you share this blog post....

5.) The rules of the road always apply, even if there is a festival going on!  Seriously, I know you have places to go, alcohol (or other beverages) to drink, sights to see, etc, but it doesn't mean that you can just ignore the NO TURN ON RED signs that are basically at EVERY intersection that's there!  Believe me, I almost got run over because of people not paying attention to road signs andchoosing to be bad drivers!  Just fucking pay attention!  Also, pedestrians, there are crosswalks with crossing signals that have buttons you can push!  I strongly suggest that you use them!  Because *rumor voice* I hear that the city will start implementing jaywalking laws on August 1st; the people from California know what I'm talking about…. >:3

6.) MIND THE TRAFFIC!  The usual complaints from the locals is how bad the traffic is, and I can see how bad it can get!  So follow rule #5, please!  So people (like me) don't get hurt!  Which will bring ambulances around which will make traffic even worse!!!  So just be aware of pedestrians, bikers, flying saucers, Godzilla, other drivers, buses, etc!

7.) There will be tons of parking issues during Musikfest.  Seriously, there are lots that are either pay-to-park (expensive) or off-limits!!!!  Seriously, "Residents Only" actually does mean "OFF LIMITS"!!!!  Unless you like getting your car towed at your expense….
-----There will be special bus routes available for certain locations, and that will allow you to park your car for cheaper than $20 per day.  Which brings me to an actual tip:  Park at the Westgate Mall and then ride the LANTA bus ($2 USD one-way; $4 USD day pass; availability limited to schedules; ask bus driver for details) to and from the festival.

8.) Please, please, please, please, PLEASE do not walk through apartment building parking lots (or the apartment buildings themselves) to get someplace!  I don't care how late it is or how drunk you are, it's still a huge security risk: people can get hurt, residents don't know who is going to try stealing their cars, and you'll wake people up by doing that!  You can achieve the same effect of getting to where you want to go by going around the parking lot and not through it!  Yes, it's tiring, but it's good exercise: not only physically but also in respect for property owners and residents alike!

Other Tips Fest-Goers Should Be Aware Of

These are the tips I did not cover in the above categories…..

9.)  On top of #8, yes!  I get it: You're drunk, you're happy, you're having a good time, but the residents don't need to hear you cheering and shouting like the visiting students from fucking West Virginia University!  (Bethlehem, PA, is Marshall territory, because I said so!)  Just please keep it down so they can sleep!  Everyone needs their sleep; the fest will be there tomorrow....unless it's the last day.

10.)  It should go without saying that federal, state and local laws apply, as do the rules for Musikfest (which are available in the pamphlets, on their website and on signs on festival grounds).

11.) Above all else, HAVE A SHIT TON OF FUN!!!! (as long as you don't piss people off)  Seriously, what's the point of attending the fest if you're not there to have fun?  (Well, yeah, besides being a vendor/merchant/business owner/employee/performer....)

For More Info….

            If you are asking a question about Musikfest that has nothing to do with what I covered above, I suggest you click on THIS link about Musikfest or try asking at one of the information booths.

            I do plan on attending (and tweeting about it), and I hope everyone follows these tips!  If you choose not to, well, then it's your own damn fault for someone turning into the Hulk and smashing people and things all because you decided to press that last hot button they have.

            Anyways, I might see you there, or I might not.  In any case, I hope you play it safe and ENJOY YOUR DRUNKEN/MUSICAL FUN TACQUITO!!!!!
(Apologies to ArtsQuest and the City of Bethlehem, PA, for being ^^^that^^^ kind of nerdy blogger.)

Thursday, July 24, 2014

What the Fuck Happened?! A Long Overdue Update

            OOOOOOF!!!!  It's been such a looong time since I last did a blog post!  The last post was probably done in April, before I traveled over to California Dalek's sector (I'm hoping for your sake, Cali, that it doesn't get split up into six separate states.) and forgot to continue doing blog posts and my XP log!  D:  Not to mention that afterwards, I kind of let my library fines get CRAZY and that prevented me from doing blog posts.  Also, I borrowed wifi for a bit--until it went away.  So now it's back to using the library's CRAPPY computers again.  Oh yeah, (optional) theme music!  It's going to be AC DC - Back In Black (Jim Heinz Remix) by theMHRproject2.


            Anyways, here's what happened to me during that period of time; however, it's going to be a bunch of bullet points that I hope aren't super lengthy, so strap in…..

          Π Trip to California—I was able to travel to California for a week and a half, visit family, check out Disney's California Adventure (after Disney refreshed it to help bump up the various problems with the park that helped drive away crowds), have EXCELLENT food at restaurants I will share the review of soon, complain about hotel accommodations, wander around the San Francisco airport, go through Newark Airport after midnight when all the businesses are CLOSED, get my hair trimmed by my aunt, and just enjoy my vacation burrito.  Oh, and I did go to Meltdown Comics (+10 Life List XP!) and be all touristy there after having a bizarre Garmin-led adventure through these towns outside of LA, take a look at the various populations and even see a mission while we (Dad and myself) drove by.  I consider it to be quite a success.  (No, Chris didn't autograph my copy of the Nerdist Way yet because he wasn't there.  Which actually helped because I was kind of super nervous—I wasn't sure if I wanted to really meet Chris and other people from Nerdist Industries, being all anxious with my small-town fansquirrel feels.  But I did enjoy going there!)  Next time, I shall be successful, with autographs and @midnight tapings that I probably could've not missed had my father not been as discouraging as he was before the trip!  Yes, Dad, I will make sure to get the tickets this time; just try talking to Mom first, okay?
   
Π     Pennsylvania Autism Training Conference—June 11th and 12th, I was able to attend a conference at the Eden Resort in Lancaster, PA!  And I did it (mostly) by myself as an exhibitor in the expo part of the conference!  I was doing quite a bit of art prior to the show in an effort to be all prepared and to sell some pieces.  Which I was able to do, fortunately: I sold three framed paintings!  That's $90 USD total!  Not a great profit margin but I'm happy about that success!  I was able to meet other people who are also on the Autism spectrum and have a good time!  And it was all PAID FOR!  I didn't have to spend a single cent on anything unless I wanted to!  Not to mention that it's a fancy hotel with suites, one of which I stayed in by myself!  Yeah, I got a whole suite to myself and it was super fancy!  There was even a phone in the bathroom!  (There's a difference between fancy and swanky: fancy is like, a super expensive hotel where you could have a wedding.  Swanky is top hats, monocles, fainting couches that are actually chaise lounges in the ladies' restroom.  And while we're on the topic, "formal gala" is basically what you would see at a Presidential or Royal ball: ballgowns, suits, servants in butler uniforms (read: "suits with tails"), orchestra, etc.)  Mom and Dad were not only proud of me, but so surprised that they said they could've stayed over with me.  I'm like, "But your schedules say no!"  Anyways, I'm glad I was able to pursue going to this event.  Thank you to my Supports Coordinator, everyone who organized the conference, the Eden Resort staff, Mom and Dad (for being SO supportive and understanding) and my Community Inclusion peeps!  As well as the people who purchased my art!  That is one fancy/gourmet tacquito I totally enjoyed!
     Π    Personal Stuff—I have been doing a lot lately within my life, and much of it was for the better: I got the Adult Autism Waiver (hence the conference, Supports Coordinator, Community Inclusion, etc.), I got to clean up my apartment, keep it clean, be very responsible, and it really cheered up my parents!  My psychiatrist was happy about all the progress we reported to him, as is my therapist!  In fact, so many good things took place that I started making a "Good Things List" that really helps keep the mood positive and helps counter the lies that depression tells us are true.  Here's a sample:
ü  I'M ALIVE!
ü  I'M  OKAY!
ü  I'm making a ton of progress!
ü  I was able to stay at a hotel in a suite by myself--and it was paid for!
ü  I sold three paintings with a small profit!
ü  Mom is happier!
ü  Parents are more supportive of my artistic and creative pursuits!
ü  I'm being productive!
ü  I'm getting the supports I need!
ü  I'm not really alone.
ü  I enjoyed some nerd humor.
ü  I started having a following under not only the name I blog with but also my secret identity!  (Major yays!)
ü  I'm a little more organized.
ü  There is less yelling and arguing between me and my parents.
ü  There is generally a good mood in the air!
ü  My meds work for my depression AND the anxiety I sometimes feel.
ü  Parents are more understanding!  :D
ü  Assessments (for Autism Waiver) showed how many things improved!
ü  I have not argued with parents in at least one month!
ü  Problem solving skill levels are up!
ü  I'm more attentive.
ü  I can relax over mistakes I make.  (Like missing a therapy appointment is NOT the end of the world for me at this point!)

            If you're dealing with depression, why not do what I did?  It really helps to have something to go back to, like a list of happy truths that can tell depression to fuck off!

            Of course, this is only part of the story: just recently, I discovered that at least one of my wisdom teeth has to be removed.  The dentist couldn't do it at the office I usually go to (1.5 to 2 hour bus ride away; 1/2 hour by car) couldn't do it so I have to go see a specialist.  I was super upset and anxious about it, fearful even, mostly due to the fact that I will not be conscious during the procedure (Do I even want to be?!?!?!).  And I'm fearful of how I will be loopy immediately after the procedure; however, my allies in the Twitterverse definitely cheered me up!




            I love you guys/gals/Daleks/other sentient races!  You totally made me laugh when I needed it and you let me know that it's super common for people to undergo wisdom teeth removal.  (Lucky Mom!  She doesn't have wisdom teeth so she doesn't have to go through it!)  And according to my parents, the car ride home will be super fun due to the loopy phase I will be going through; so with all of that info being fed to me through my ear holes, I think I should just drunkenly smile and ride that dragon all the way home.
            Question is, will the dragon be real, colored purple, fluent in cat, and smell like root beer?

            Anyways, I must prepare for the possibility that my base will be overrun with drunks due to the 10-day presence of Musikfest.  Yes, overrun with drunks.  It's a shame that I can't have weapons here at my residence, because if the drunks turn into real zombies, I'm fucked.  But I might be one of those drunks anyways because I plan on going.  Just look for the drunk Padawan that's actually more sober than the rest of the people attending the festivities while strategically avoiding the polka tent except for possibly passing through to take one of the paths traveled a little less because foot traffic.

            Anyways, I believe this update is sufficient enough to say, "I'm sorry for disappearing because stuff and I will be back to blogging; here's an update to share the stuff."  Now, to plot out my Birthday/Christmas Wishlist of Awesomes (that's already a few yards long because of ThinkGeek's Wishlist feature)…..  And I promise to try and post some blogs I drafted out already.  But that's for another time.


Enjoy your California/Amish drunk/high tacquito!


Monday, March 17, 2014

Hooked: When Addiction Enters Your Life

            This is a bit of a sensitive topic in a highly verbose blog post.  You don't have to read it if you feel uncomfortable about addiction, but you might want to as addiction has about as many flavors as fear does (just google "phobias").  I know that many people are going to say, "Bullshit!  You can only be addicted to illicit substances!" or something like that, but you have to understand that there is a thin line between dedication to what you enjoy and addiction that chains you to your vice.  For that I have the optional playlist of mine that I titled Addiction Blog Post Mix.


            For me, it's a touchy subject: Dad tends to say that I am "addicted" to the Internet.  And that really rubs me the wrong way, the same way that someone says, "I can't do that because I'm disabled," or "I'm Autistic," or "She's retarded—stay away from her!"  To touch a bit on this subject: GODDAMMIT!  You are a person, not a problem!  What do you like?  What do you want to do in life?  Do you want to travel?  Meet people?  Do you have dreams of doing something you've always wanted to do?  Well then, fuck the "being disabled," because you've allowed it to define who you are; you've allowed it to own you, instead of you owning it!  Much like Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider: the curse owned him for a while, but once the Devil said, "You are no longer my pawn," or whatever, Johnny went, "Fuck you, I'm not your pawn!  I own this shit, it doesn't own me!"  Your disability is a part of you, but it shouldn't define you.  That's why I say that I have Asperger's and a hearing impairment and depression and ADD!  I'll never ever say, "I'm an Aspie girl who is deaf and depressed and ADD."  Because that's not who and what I am; I am the Jedi warrior I make myself to be.  I want to look in the mirror and see what I want to be, not the traits I know I have that people don't like.  Yes, I put "Aspie" in my Twitter profile, but only because I'd run out of room otherwise!  It's easy shorthand!

            Anyways, sorry for that sideways segway into my rant about disability-and-identity.  But it does irritate me how Dad says that I am "addicted" to the Internet, because I don't like the negative connotations; in fact, for a while I used to say, "I'm connected deeply to the Internet," because I was hankering for the "social interaction" from Second Life.  (Mom's way of describing it is better: I would "get lost" in the Internet.)  But then I read about addiction in Chris Hardwick's book, The Nerdist Way, that, for some reason, I can't stop referring to all the time!  (JUST GET THE DAMN BOOK ALREADY!)  *Ahem!*  In the chapter titled, "Addiction-ary," he describes how he experienced addiction to beer; for many of us, the scientific term is "alcoholism."  And it opened my eyes up to what addiction really is: it's not the item that's the problem, it's the problems that a person has that they are trying to hide from by using the item.  What that means is that you can become addicted to anything, if you have the genetic predisposition for it, according to some non-Gallifreyan doctors.  Have you ever seen "My Strange Addiction"?  There are people who are addicted to collecting things, people addicted to eating things that aren't good for them at all, and there are people addicted to certain sensations that would just make this blog sound super creepy and weird if I ever mention it.

            And yet, once you get thinking about it, how can a crackhead's addiction be the same as alcoholism and Internet addiction and also addiction to food or sex?  It's not really the item; it's the feelings that the object of eternal siren-like desire that it brings to these people.  They're hooked on the good feelings that eating a lot of food or having sex or drinking or doing drugs brings them.  The equation is the same for everyone:

Problem → Need to feel good → Use of desirable object → Feeling good

But here's a tricky twist: addiction is itself a problem, especially if it interferes with your everyday life; so, in a sense, it turns into a thick, gummy, nearly concrete, manipulative frosting layer on the cake of problems and lies (PORTAL!) that you're dealing with.  So, there comes a time when you have to just sledgehammer that shit open in a giant epiphany moment of "What the fuck am I doing to myself?!"  For those of you having substance or gambling abuse and are thinking that, I shall include a list of numbers at the bottom that you can call for help.

            Anyways, I have discussed this with one of my witchdoctors (head-shrink!  HA!  Get it?!  #badpsychiatrypuns) and he did share with me this penny for my thoughts: you can enjoy something a lot, like sex or the Internet and that wouldn't be addiction; but when you enjoy it so much that you start to ignore your daily responsibilities that are needed (like hygiene, eating, work, family, real life friends), that's when it becomes an addiction.  You know the people who many of us label as "homeless," and  seem to just always drink or do drugs or whatever?  They are homeless because they were too busy being drunk/high to shower, eat, interact with family, pay rent, or go to work, and they got kicked out and have no place to go or no back-up plan for getting evicted out of their dwelling.  They're just stuck on feeling better and crave it so much that they can't quite move on from getting that fix.

            For Big C, it was alcohol.  He got into the never-ending party scene, he felt like he was in control of his forever yammering mind, he felt good, he let it get in the way of his daily responsibilities, his credit was ruined, he wasn't in the best of shape (besides round); essentially, he was a living buffet for a horde of zombies.  (He calls this phase of life "Peter Hardwick," aka "Chad Softwick," aka "Chris Fatwick," aka the fat drunk brother he never really had but someone kept alluding to during the early days of the biographical Wikipedia article about him.)  But on October 8, 2003, he was watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, with Jenny NOT-AN-EXPERT-ON-AUTISTIC-SPECTRUM-DISORDERS McCarthy as the guest.  At one point, at the end of the interview, Stewart says, "Oh, by the way, Chris Hardwick works here now."  To which she responded with, "Really?  Cool!"  Stewart shot back with, "Yeah.  He gets our coffee." [audience laughter]  "Fu.  Cking.  BALLS!" Big C shares next in the text.  He was called out on one of his favorite shows for being a loser, "and the worst part was, he was right."  That sent him on a journey to sobriety and fitness, and 10+ years later, he's on top of the world as the sober attractive-yet-out-of-my-league-in-more-ways-than-one COO of Nerdist Industries, hosting a shit ton of shows like Talking Dead and @midnight, as well as the Nerdist Podcast!

            As for me, I will admit (wincingly) that I have an addictive personality thanks my half-Vulcan father's side.  And it is a little easy for me to get hooked on things that allows me to feel good (which I will not dive too far into because it's a little uncomfortable for me to talk about) but now I know better.  I've done a paper on drunk driving and I learned that alcohol can magnify the effects of antidepressants.  And with that in mind, along with my being prescribed with antidepressants and that looming genetic predisposition hanging over my head, I make sure to never really hit the point of "durrunk," (I never want to be Dalek-hugging drunk, but I'm such a lightweight that I'm sure that I'll pass out before then.) because I don't want to fuck myself over.  Which I'm actually making into a rule for myself right here and right now: never ever create a tolerance for alcohol that's above 24-oz of something.  I actually don't even drink
socially; I'm not anywhere close to being social drinker, as I am pretty much a lightweight in terms of alcohol tolerance and terms of how much out of shape I really am; so Musikfest is really only the time I would have 24-oz. of alcoholic something and just drunk dial my sister and go "I'm drinking lots of water," 3 times in the conversation (true story).
            But on the flip side, I was actually typing this post up at home instead of surfing the webs at the library on a Saturday because Monday-Friday this past week (the week of March 9th, 2014, when I posted my review of the premiere of Cosmos ASTO), I was there, getting some semblance of Internet access.  Every single day, during that time period.  And it got to the point of "I need to not go there!  I need to take a break!"  The reasoning behind it is that I felt that it started to really tug at whatever part of me that many Christians call my soul, the siren call of the Internet was really sounding itself until closing time passes.  So, I needed to #SEPARATE myself from the library on a day that it's actually open so that I don't wind up going over that edge of self-destructive library-internet addiction spiral of DOOOOOOM!!!!!

            It's an interesting idea to talk about and I really do think that everyone shouldn't have a vice.  I remember having on my old blog, a very explanatory blog post about the whole Straight Edge movement (It's a movement, Mom!  It's not a club confined to my college, but a movement that was all over the country!) being positive about "not drinking, not doing drugs, beware of the asshole hardliners!" and to be honest, I would never have been able to be truly straight edge.  Jonah Ray was, but I really wasn't because I got lost in the Internet that was Second Life, Twitter, Facebook, MMO games, etc.  And I can't just let myself get to that point again, because it created this black hole that swallowed the path I was on to "apparel design and merchandising" in my Family and Consumer Science major.  But perhaps I didn't want it; perhaps, super-subconsciously I wanted to do pure art, or something else that would satisfy what kind of future I would want, and I, instead, went, "I'll go into fashion!" to people to get them to stop saying, "You'll starve as an artist," and, "You'll never have a real future," to me, and then I set up some red-matter dynamite on that career path I was on, pushed down on the plunger of the detonator box and created this void that I could not cross that I'm sure four-dimensional me would be able to cross somehow in a way that I would not understand.

            Wow, that was a convoluted creative over-exaggeration of Freudian thinking of subconscious desires that I just described in half of a paragraph.  I think I'm turning into another version of the Bloggess.  OH CRAP!  JENNY!  HELP MEEEEEE!!!!!  I CAN'T HAVE TAXIDERMY IN MY APARTMENT!!!

            But yeah, if you need me to shout at you to give up your vice for fuck's sake, here: DRUGS/ALCOHOL/INTERNET/(INSERT VICE HERE!) IS NOT THE SOLUTION FOR YOUR PROBLEMS!  PLEASE GO GET HELP!  BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!  YOU CAN DO BETTER BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN (INSERT VICE HERE)!

Just Because the Phone's Right There: Some Helpful Non-Finger Digits

Here are some numbers you can call:

Alcohol Anonymous (AA): Okay, AA is good for people who need structure for getting back onto the "right" path, but it's not for everybody.  Big C admitted this in Nerdist Way and on one of his podcast episodes (the number of which I don't really don't remember) that it's just not the program he needed, he just did his own thing because AA never really resonated well with him.  He still got sober, stayed sober, and is doing well.
            Website: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

Narcotics Anonymous (NA): Spin-off of AA that helps deal with drugs and substance abuse.
            Website: http://www.na.org

IntheRooms.com: This is a social network for those in recovery.  It's a thing that Big C discovered that he hasn't used, but it does allow you to connect with similar folks at varying stages of recovery with at any level of privacy that you would prefer.
            Website URL: http://www.intherooms.com


A Confession

            I have to say that I'm not an expert, much like Dr. Drew Pinsky and Dr. Phil McGraw are experts.  I'm just sharing my experience, adding in my thoughts and knowledge so that you may know of my views of the whole addiction landscape.  I still don't consider myself to be addicted to the Internet; but there is a danger for me to start drinking like it's going out of style.  For that, I must be careful.  So don't take my entire word for it as "expert advice," beyond "get help if you're suffering."  So don't be afraid to confide in people such as sisters and friends and therapists and faith leaders.  They can help you get started on the right path.  It takes a lot of support to get over addiction and to solve the core problem, so I ask of you all to also accept the support and help that works for you, or, if it's someone you know, just be there for them, without enabling by providing drug money, a place to stay, providing the drugs, etc.  They will thank you in the end.  Just don't give up because the journey to sobriety is a long, hard, rough hike through mostly charted territory that is easy to just give up on.

            Another confession: Most cigarettes are flavored with ambergris.  That's whale vomit.  Think about THAT the next time you light one up, readers!


            ENJOY YOUR SOBER TACQUITOS!  Unless it's tiramisu.  Or cheese fondue.  Or you're in Colorado.