Wednesday, November 5, 2014
GAMERGATE: Why Making a Fuss Over Gaming Feminism is Ridiculous!
Hey, readers! This is my "remotely released" blog post that shares MY views on "Gamergate," and why this is absolutely a waste of our time and energy. This blog post was drafted on October 30th (and finished on October 31st), 2014, the night after I found out about this so-called "scandal"—that's what "Gamergate" is, right? Because only real major scandals can have the "gate" name. In fact, on that note, does anyone think that Bill Gates is more than one scandal in human form? HAHA! #ReallyBadJokes
Anyways, I feel, that as a female Nerd who enjoys playing video games, I should speak up, sharing my point of view. Yes, it's MY OPINION, which is neither right nor wrong! So stop trolling and pay attention!
As always, I have provided you with an theme song for this post: the full Deus Ex Human Revolution soundtrack.
Bendgate" and "Hairgate" should not even exist. So what if you get your hair caught in your iPhone6 and it bends in the pocket of your skinny jeans? That's your own Davros-damn fault here! Because who would be placing the ear piece right on their hair? It should be brushed out of the way before using said device as a phone (which I'm sure is rare nowadays; just fucking call the device a tricorder already! Because we can do everything else with it, INCLUDING MASTURBATE!). I do that with my Obamaphone (which is not a sign of socialism, conservative fuckers!) already! I brush my hair out of the way before doing anything with my pointed ears!
In any case, only give a real high-level scandal the "gate" watermark. PLEASE! No more first-world bullshit powered by our selfish narcissistic desires for top-notch quality-made products that (in order to obtain in the first place) we would have to shell out millions of dollars to purchase in this market.
Colbert Report, and he shared the super-hyped story how many male gamers are issuing death threats against female gamers who want ladies to stop being thrust into the objectified damsels-in-distress role in many of the video games that are made for a male-dominant market. I have to say, I agree with those ladies; I disagree with the response the guys are giving them.
Seriously, anyone who reacts negatively to this statement is a sexist pig who should never be in a relationship with another woman, because they are sure to be abusive to her. They are already programmed that way, so maybe it IS the game developer's fault in the first place—WAIT, WAIT, this is confusing and I'm not medicated when drafting up this post, so let's try again……
So, of course there are video games like Grand Theft Auto and whatnot that have strong male leads and "weak" female NPCs (non-player characters, for those not familiar with gaming lingo) in today's world. Because the video game market is not changing fast enough to support the idea of using a strong female lead that isn't just a sex icon. That or gender-neutral video games such as the one where you play a gust of wind…….or say, has anyone ever heard of flOw? That one is gender-neutral! There are whole species of plants and animals that are without gender living on this very same planet; why do we still have gender-specific games where the exciting sexist action games are geared towards men and the frilly boring "bake a cake" or "raise a puppy" games are geared towards women? Our world has CHANGED; it's time the nerdy gaming market should do so as well!
We must change the gaming landscape and market, stimulating an evolution and growth that allows gamer diversity in the marketplace. Though I'd love to fuck with the current gamescape by releasing a game that has ONLY strong female leads that rescue "wimpy" nerds from the clutches of evil, we should start small; we should allow female characters to not just be a standby in the scene, but rather be a part of our team, and be playable. This line from the Halo Reach release panel says it all: http://youtu.be/1aOb6Nn8egA?t=12m15s
Isn't it against the LAW (especially in California) to issue a threat? Isn't it wrong anyways, if there isn't a law against issuing threats? Especially "terroristic" threats of school shootings? In what way does it make sense that it's "okay" to do that in response to us ladies (or lady Nerds) speaking up for equal more accurate representation in the virtual universe? Because, gamer dudes and guy Nerds, in case you forgot, we ladies are a formidable gender for one reason and one reason only: we. Have. VAGINAS!!! And our vaginas are dangerous and wily. They are the gateways of NEW LIFE! Yes: WE BEAR YOUR CHILDREN, BOYS! And those hormones that rear their heads every month exist for THAT very reason! That and our mother bear instincts are the reason why your genes are still in the gene pool (provided that your genes make up part of the DNA of your spawn)! You think we're weak and submissive? Threaten the safety of our offspring and we go She-Hulk on everybody's asses! #EdenSmash
Anyways, that's it for my rant here. Let's all breathe a sigh of release, drink some delicious dessert wine in celebration of my 24th birthday (which was this past Halloween, if you haven't read my previous post), and share the love. And while we're doing that at the same time as my partial absence, I hope y'all
ENJOY YOUR DIGITAL HALLOWEEN TACQUITO BUFFET!
(without being fucked over like in this video!)