Welcome to Nerdophilia! Don't worry, there's no sex, just R-rated language! And nudity only if it's integral to the plot!
This blog is about anything I consider to be interesting or important, but mostly both. I am a believer in the paranormal and a fan of Nerdist, MythBusters, Ghost Adventures, science, and nerdy stuff.
Some tunes to listen to if you wanted…..a playlist! Yays!
After the previous blog post, I feel this urge to apologize for freaking people out with my possibly-withdrawal-induced feelings of depression and hopelessness where I felt the need to painfully rip off the blindfold I was wearing while running from the black hole-like sinkhole. (I actually shouldn’t; it’s okay for me to share these feelings, even healthy.) It was a letter to myself, an important conversation that needed to be had in order for problems to be solved. It was also a great big flashing sign I could use to direct people in a direction that many people would call “making progress,” even though (to me, at least) it is comparable to me being the reporter out in the field running for her life from a sinkhole, while the hosts of the news channels watched with genuine concern.
I think this warrants an update: I’m doing better emotionally, which probably can be attributed to the withdrawal from lack of ADD meds. I suspect that this withdrawal (which took place for three or four weeks, during which my doctor pulled a dick move by not filling any of my ADD meds--which meant I ran out, something one should never do ever with any psychiatric meds--until I get my fasting blood tests done) was responsible for most of the issues I had, probably proof it messed up my brain. At least, now I can attribute the need to be fed properly in the morning and the weird I-skipped-on-my-meds dreams to the stimulants and lack thereof, respectively.
But that’s not what you’re here for--you want to know my thoughts on Furiously Happy, the new book by Jenny Lawson (the Bloggess) that JUST came out! Right?! (As in at midnight the night of September 21st--because midnight is when September 22nd starts. Thanks, temporal druids known as Jesuits for inventing this weird concept!) I was so excited and eager that I was able to get my own copy from Target with Dad’s help--thank you, Papa Spock! (I did pay him back for my copy.) And I was so happy I even texted my older sister….to which she responded with a question: “Did the Amazon Pre-Order get there already???” HUH????? After a puzzled response (probably along the lines of “What are you talking about?”), I found out that my sister had pre-ordered the book for me from Amazon the moment she heard me talk about it weeks before it even came out. Which is sweet, but left me with a dilemma: which copy of the book should I return?!?!?! My answer/decision was NEITHER!!!! I opted to keep them both because I don’t want to feel weird about it; Papa Spock went out of his way to get me a copy of my own, and my sis was thinking of me and being incredibly awesome by gift-ordering a copy of the book that she knew I really wanted and was determined to get. (At least now we know that next time, probably when Jenny’s third book is coming out--hopefully, even though I shouldn’t count my chicks before their eggs are even laid--my sis will tell me whether she pre-ordered it or not so that this weird situation doesn’t happen again.) On the bright side, I get TWICE the furious happiness!!!!
Anyways, if you’d rather a look at the content I may or may not have spoiled with Twitter breadcrumbs, here’s my Storify compilation:
Yes, those are the breadcrumbs I left on Twitter with the hope that the strangers who are following me on Twitter will read and be like, “HUH? Oh my goddess’ titties! Lol! I should take a look at this “Furiously Happy” thing….. *click* Oh, wow, people love it! I should get it!” (I’m not sure if #FuriouslyHappy was trending on the Twitters, but if it did, AWESOME!)
In reality, while reading and tweeting along by text message, I was wearing my pajamas (a nightshirt and yoga pants) and a Darn Good Yarn magic skirt (made of SILK) while laying on my couch and reading furiously (happily) in an effort to finish the book before the day was over so I can post this review. And while reading, I was giggling, quiet with awe, nodding with understanding, crying with laughter, and then crying at the end because I knew what Jenny was talking about. I truly understood the battle that so many people, myself among them, are fighting every single day. I was empathizing on a deeper level, because I knew that my own battle was quite a bit different from everyone else’s. It’s at this point (at the end) where I wanted to just run (or quickly walk up) to Jenny, and embrace her tightly while crying into her shoulder (which is a little overboard for an interaction between two people who only know each other through the Interwebs) and going, “Thank you! THANK YOU!!!! You understand it--thank youuuu!!!! I love you for this!!!!” (I’m crying even while typing this.) I probably wouldn’t do that last proclamation, but when a fan of yours runs up and hugs you, molesting your boobs with tears and shouting “thank you,” over and over again, it could go that way.
I’m giving this book over 9,000 white-point stars/plungers out of 5 (the plungers are for the Daleks), not just because it was funny, but because it was a truth that needed to be shared with the world. People, not just those with depression, but also government officials, doctors in all fields, insurance company employees, family members, friends, etc., should know what life with depression could be like. They should know that even celebrities such as Wil Wheaton and Phil Plait and other well-known faces in the celebri-sphere have some sort of mental illness, and that having a mental illness or emotional/mental diffability should not be stigmatized! As much as you think it’s super rare, when you read the comments on Jenny’s blog posts about depression, you’ll realize that it is a lot more common than you think, and that we are not alone in our struggles. There are at least 50 other people in the world fighting to escape similar sinkholes to the one I’m running from, struggling and fighting to stay ahead, but wearing themselves out in the process. There are times when even I get tired and would stop to catch my breath only to feel the earth beneath my feet start to give way, which tells me that I have only an opportunity window of a few seconds (relatively speaking) to fire the grappling hook at something far off in the distance for help. That the battles we’re fighting could be described differently from my sinkhole metaphor, as trenches filling with water that we have to escape, lest we drown.
So, yeah, depression is a bitch and an asshole because it’s lying to you and bullying you into thinking “Life would be so much better without me.” That is bullshit, and I can attest to that--when my sis and I were growing up in the hellhole in the middle of nowhere (in Pennsylvania; sorry, Iowa, but you can’t change history), we were relentlessly picked on; I was bullied, she was bullied….It was hard, but it got worse still when her classmates in a Catholic high school where picking on her, to the point when they were saying that she should “just kill herself.” How could they?! That is WRONG! Nobody should EVER encourage taking their own life! Not even CEOs of Evil Corp! (spoiler alert for Mr. Robot fans who did not see the season 1 finale) This is why we should educate people on mental illness so that they are well-informed and less of a dick about living with depression and/or anxiety.
Look, you’re not alone in your struggles. I have them. Mama Squirrel and my sis have them. LOTS of people have them, and we will feel alone during these times; but we should know that our tribe is out there. Yes, I’m a member of Jenny Lawson’s tribe of weirdos who fight with depression, and I’m proud of it! I’m a member of the Church of Bloggessianism! I frequently tweet with Daleks on Twitter! I even joke around with my parents about needing towels and possibly also getting a giant metal chicken during that shopping trip! This is the tribe I belong to, the nerdy weirdos wielding plungers at trees that we thought were zombies!
You may be weird and even a little fucked-up, but so am I. What’s important is deciding whether you should march alone or with the rest of us; because people marching by themselves are looked upon as “stupid” and “childish” and “wrong,” but people marching together? That’s a full fuckin’ marching band with its own class and character!!!!
Keep this in mind while reading this book--which you should buy your own copy of! Unless your sister already ordered it for you; you should check with her first before buying it…..
Until then, ENJOY YOUR ANTIDEPRESSANT-LAIDEN NON-LEATHERY GALLSTONE-FREE
FURIOUSLY HAPPY TACQUITO!!!!!
Apologies for the long absence. Life happened. It usually does. Not to mention that the evil Writer's Block just stopped me for a few months…..I couldn't figure out ANYTHING to write about. So, I guess I owe you a brief update: attended the Pennsylvania Autism Training Conference again, selling two paintings (only it was Mom who sold them—thanks, Mama Squirrel!); walked an entire 5K color run/walk event; still working on getting my shit together; ran out of ADD meds, but did a fasting blood test so I can get more; having weird dreams due to the absence of the ADD meds, etc.
This time around, I have decided to publish a blog post where I could be more honest to everyone (including myself), to a degree (since the Interwebs is full of creeps and criminals, in addition to the awesome, nice people online). And I've decided, after some consideration, to write a letter addressed to myself, which I know is already bringing me to tears; it's hard to be raw and real in an environment populated with trolls and cyberbullies, and I've become far too cautious for that, but I've decided to just answer Yoda's "Do or Do Not" lesson by choosing "Do," and even go so far as publishing it, regardless of the reactions readers may have. This isn't just for you—it's for me.
Anyways, make sure to have tissues ready, because things are about to get more real and more honest than they have been so far on the Interwebs! (Hence, the "KLEENEX ALERT!")
No, it's not a gimmick: I really did have a hard time typing this up. But it's worth it. Disclaimer: I'm NOT suicidal, and I have NO intentions or plans to hurt myself, okay? Please. I don't want people to freak out over this. I'll be okay, as long as I get the help I need.
Dearest Eden,
Hey. It's you. Well, actually it's yourself, the part of you who wants to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Why are we writing a letter to ourselves? Because it's time to do away with the jokes for a while and address what's been going on within ourselves for a long time now. We need to talk.
I know what we've been feeling, lately. Yes, we're lonely, we're incurably sad, and we don't want to grow up or for things to change. But why is that? Why are we torturing ourselves emotionally by thinking, "Why can't I just be a four-year old again?" Is it because we deserve this masochism of the mind? Or is it that we secretly want to fall down that metaphorical sinkhole we've been running from for a few weeks now?
I can tell you right now that, yes, life is hard. It's difficult, and for us, unless we're distracted (and especially off the medications), it feels incredibly lonely. It's hard to remember that we have friends and family who want to help us, despite the voice inside of our head saying that nothing will work and nobody can help.
Perhaps it's a bit too much pride and egotism that prevents us from asking for help easily.
Or perhaps we're really just scared of change in life.
Yes, change can suck. But it's the metabolism of life on Earth. Some changes are bad (deforestation, changes in policy that allow politicians to be bought by corporations, global warming, political shifts in the Middle East giving rise to a group of militants who know how to really hurt us from the inside, etc.). But why get sad at the good changes, too? Is it because we've become too comfortable with the way things were before the change? Why is that?
I actually don't have an answer for that question.
Try as we might, it's incredibly hard for us to live happily. We live with depression (and its bedfellow, anxiety), which we fear is getting worse, whether it's because we were medicating irregularly, or that it's truly, independently getting worse, making us feel unstable in life.
Remember that post on Hyperbole-And-A-Half, about the time Allie Brosh was struggling with her depression to the point where just feeling any emotions is horribly terrifying and painful? And that she wound up ditching her emotions for "robot mode"? And this led to the feelings of not wanting to live anymore? We can't allow this to happen to ourselves. We have reasons to live, whether it's a temporary noble reason (raising awareness and paving the way towards acceptance of neurodiversity) or a temporary petty one (Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, releasing her second book, which should be just as hilarious as her first one). We can't give up on ourselves and just check in to the mental hospital and go, "Help me feel as though I can be happy again without feeling my heart break for myself!"
It's too terrifying to even go that far, even if it means that we wind up getting outpatient psychiatric care due to our ex-psychiatrist not being helpful with insurance bullshit. (Seriously, this area that we live in is the worst in the State for mental health service availability; local health networks don't do outpatient psychiatric services unless we get admitted to the hospital for mental health reasons, which we really don't want to happen!)
Life is amazing and beautiful and something to be witnessed. We shouldn't scare ourselves with the negatives that lurk within the Deep Web, like Cthulhu being held in the deepest and darkest depths of the sea, waiting to be released to cause chaos and world destruction. Instead, we should figure out a way to either get the fuck away from the metaphorical sinkhole of despair, or just stop it entirely.
As much as it hurts, just talk to Mom and Dad about it. Or your sister; they'll understand that you're feeling hurt inside, and that you want it to stop but are scared to do so.
They're walking similar paths to yours, and they can't help you unless you tell them, unless we muster up the courage to just say the following four words:
Hi, y'all! Sorry for failing to post for so long.... I've been nuts as of lately. How? Like this:
Me: *Looks around* "Dammit! I've fucked up and now it's time to fix everything. No more extremely slow downward spiral for me!" *cracks knuckles*
My Depression/Anxiety: *Perks eyebrow* "Really? Are you sure you want to do that?"
Me: "Yes, motherfuckers! My brain isn't some place where you can camp out and run self-destructive programming for free! I'm tired of sleeping all day, not taking my pills--which can make me sick--and not being productive! I have stuff I need to do!"
D/A: "Uh, no, you don't! You have other stuff that's more fun! Besides, chores and responsibility are boring and lame; you'll be boring and lame if you do them, and they're not fun in an ironic sense!"
Me: "LIESSSS!!! I have dishes to do, a living room to clean up, a bathroom to scrub clean.... I have to start now!"
D/A: "No, your inner Lazy Dalek says that you can do it later, following it up with repeated chanting of 'PROCRASTINATE! PROCRASTINATE!' Plus, isn't it lonely? You don't have many fr--"
Me: "SILENCE! I shall be productive today! Not later--TODAY!!!"
D/A: "Crap! Uh, uh....! Hey, Attention Deficit Disorder! A little help here?"
That's a sort-of typical conversation that led to me to a lot of unmedicated days of sleeping, nights staying up until 6 am EDT, and not even following through on plans that can help me be Pro-Eden.
Yeps. Pro-Eden, meaning helping me make positive changes towards my life. How come? Go listen to the Pro You Podcast on the Nerdist Podcast Network! Episode I, Inertia--the Real Phantom Menace, should explain everything, and help you start on your way towards better awareness, and, ultimately, a better lifestyle.
It's because of this podcast that I've decided to get going with my climb up Mt. Molehill; I've even gone so far as to not refer to workouts as "workouts," but as "Pro You Moments". I've been tweeting with their Twitter account, and been giving updates with my progress. Here's a couple of the latest ones that I sent them recently (before this blog post):
Just to report in: had another #ProYouMoment! Just signed up for membership at Planet Fitness. Meeting with someone tomorrow! @proyoupodcast
— Lady Eden Pyrithea (@LadyEden1337) April 29, 2015
Seriously, this podcast is awesome, especially after all the talking is done, when Tom (one of the hosts) gives you a chillaxing Pro You Moment, where you can meditate with food for thought.
Beyond that, some other stuff happened, which I will update in another blog post, one that I'll publish once I've stopped yanking my hair out over Artist's Block, aaand, for the most part, being like this:
In any case, be consistent (especially with medications), be aware, and ENJOY YOUR TACQUITO!!!!
Sorry
for not posting anything as of lately.
I've been quite busy with life. I
had to be out in public and get a new laptop of my own and new headphones and
stuff. (What?! I want to blend in with the background, to
make it impossible for y'all to see me!
I'M INVISIBLE TO YOUR OCULAR SENSORS!
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!)
Anyways…..I
figured I should post SOMETHING to keep people from going, "OH, NO! SHE'S DEAD!" (Well, at least the people who don't watch my
twitter feed. Those who do, or those who
are friends with me on Facebook, or interact with me regularly on Deviant Art
know that I'm alive and well.) That and
to rant a wee bit on Star Wars.
Okay,
more than a wee bit. But I do have some
nerd frustrations that need to be unleashed.
(No, not THOSE nerd frustrations!
Gawd, get your minds out of the gutter!)
That and some funny shit to share.
So, sit
back, relax, tune out to "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger," (the"Deadmau5 remix" according to my library) by Daft Punk (which Papa
Spock needs to listen to more). And remember
that at the time of my drafting this, I am actually very tired. My butt was kicked by Thursday, and I still haven't
recovered much; instead, I've been reading Bill Nye's Undeniable and Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy in bed, like I "should" be doing.
So Far, So Good…. I Think…..
So, a
status update: I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. I have tons of cleaning to do (still), a few
appointments to either check up on or set up, a whole dozen others to attend,
and a bunch of distractions in between.
I've accomplished stuff, made the opposite of progress on other stuff,
and there's
not enough time in the day to do it all!!! Really, the word, "Bleh," pretty
much sums up my current mental state.
Let's do
a quick run-through here….
~~Public
speaking—I've had to do a couple of presentations in "public"
to a group of young adults with disabilities about social media. Yes, apparently, I'm an expert. (What I did, however, was share my firsthand
experiences online with these people.)
And I enjoyed the satisfaction of surprising myself with how well I did
(according to audience feedback), which is a really good booster for my
low-to-medium self-esteem. And yes, I
got paid for it in gift cards provided by the sponsor, which is a very popular
large (national? world?) retail company found
all over the US. And when I was done, I
was also given a gift (that isn't exactly necessary but very, very, very
helpful, since I can't take my not-so-portable desktop computer everywhere)
that was provided by this sponsor: a new laptop! BUT, I still don't have Internet at home. Oh well.
~~Exercising:
My FitNerd Journey—I've also started doing a sort-of-kind-of exercise
routine. Basically, twice a week, on
Tuesdays and Thursdays, I go out in exercise clothes to do some…. PHYSICAL
THERAPY!!!! Yays!!!!
What? Did you expect me to just say, "I go out
to some lunkhead dungeon to have a stranger yell at me to work through the pain
of my muscles tearing as I try to do the impossible, only to return home in
tears and swearing to punch them in the face next time I go before passing out
on the bed"? Seriously, I know for
a fact that the scenario I just described is detrimental to any sort of routine
construction, and destructive to the nerd psyche many of us tend to have. That and because I'm worried about certain
other medical conditions, which means I'd rather take a step between
"regular workouts at the gym" and "not exercising very
much." That step, for me, is
physical therapy. No, I'm not injured; I
just want to start in a supervised setting that will allow me to get the
fitness-and-health-goal cheese wheel rolling down the hill. And so far, I've been doing really well,
exercising my legs and my arms and increasing my endurance a bit so I don't
feel like I'm dying when rushing to catch the bus. I've figured out the ideal posture (which is
just like the posture I had when I was doing horseback riding: spine straight
and tall, shoulders down and back a bit, sitting on your tailbone with your
legs relatively underneath your profile, but relaxed, with your stomach tucked
in), and I've also been able to do better leg curls and bicep workouts. It's awesome, and a really good self-esteem
booster.
That's
all for now, with the updates. You can find
more on Twitter. As for the Team
Savage-vs.-Team Bagans internet battle, I've put together a journal entry on
Deviant Art, complete with links to tweets, blog posts, videos, etc., so if you
want to find out everything quickly, go check that out.
That's
it for now, mostly because there is a disturbance in the Force that I've been
ignoring up until now—and I can't take it anymore!!!!
Star Wars-Episode Everything: The Approaching Doom
Alright,
even though the official teaser is cool (with the Garth Brooks version made by
@midnight being super funny—POINTS(!) to them for it)……
……and there are pictures of what's happening behind the
scenes, I am worried about the fate of the current Star Wars universe. No, not the one Disney has constructed! The one that existed before Disney decided to
fuck us nerds over!
You see,
I've been prowling through the Nerdist site lately, and I've found some awesome
articles that I've shared with people on dAmn (the Deviant Art messaging
network, which is basically just a bunch of chat rooms created by DevArt staff
and users). But lately, I've come across
some news that should excite people, but actually just made a lot of us nerds
angry with grief over how a sandcastle empire (that each of us nerds and fans
and nerdy fans have contributed to with careful precision and painstaking
effort to make it juuuust right) was destroyed by Disney just stomping their way
through.
As many
of us are all aware, Disney bought the rights to Star Wars and have hired J.J.
Abrams to direct the new Star Wars movie, Episode VII: The Force
Awakens….. Shouldn't that be "Reawakens"? Because last I checked, at the end of Episode
VI-Return of the Jedi, it was already awake, but feeling quite lonely!
So, when
THIS article was posted, I was shocked.
I could only skim through part of it, before immediately jumping down to
the Comments section to post my complaints:
Before long, I got some responses:
And I felt the frustrations rise, which resulted in me
posting a response to one:
However, I was fortunate enough to have a brief encounter
with some extremely funny nerds on there, offering replies that made me laugh
hard!
Thank
you, kind strangers of the nerd population, for giving me a bit of comic relief when
I was still feeling the sting of having Disney smash what we had to pieces.
Seriously,
what happened was that the Expanded Universe (much of it documented on
Wookieepedia) was just erased from existence.
None of it (the books, especially) is canon anymore. The only stuff that is canon is everything
that is in all the movies, plus the Star Wars: Clone Wars series and whatever
specials that they have. That's it; the
Thrawn Trilogy books that I have yet to read, anything that involves an
agreement as to how Boba Fett escaped the Pit of Sarlacc, what happened with
Darth Maul, all of that is no longer "accepted" as Star Wars lore.
I
expressed these frustrations to Papa Spock recently, and he responded with his
usual Spockish answer: It's because what was already there was too restrictive
for them to do anything creative with the storyline in order to draw in more
people. I suspect that J.J. was a large
part of that decision, seeing that he was the one who did the Star Trek:
Alternate Universe movie series! And
because of that, the Star Trek Online game was completely changed! Like, WHAT THE FUCK?!?! It's frustrating, especially since people are
going to respond with "It's Disney, not ours. They can do whatever they want with it,
seeing as it's their Jeep and no longer the Jeep that George Lucas has allowed
all of us nerds to go joyriding in. They
can change the radio station presets on it to whatever they want, and you
shouldn't worry about it."
I am
worried about it. So much has been
ruined lately; nerds are being sexist with their anger, saying, "HOW DAREYOU MAKE MY GHOSTBUSTERS WOMEN!!!"
And many of us are still Klingoning (Heh, get it?! Klingon…ing?
Never mind, I meant, "clinging on"….) to the Original Star Trek
series, to Next Generation, Voyager, and Deep Space 9, to keep alive the
memories of what we enjoyed the first time around. It sucks!
You see,
we nerds (especially those of us on the Autism Spectrum) are resistant to
change (much like conservatives and Republicans—*shudders* That felt creepier
than I thought it would be….), and if you introduce sweeping changes all across
the major nerdism nodes (like superhero genders, storylines we grew up with and
memorized every detail of, Star Wars universe elements and happenings that take
place outside of the movies and television series, etc.), we're going to be
resistant. Like, we're fine with the way
things are, and they made sense; why did you change everything that was
working? You can't fix what isn't broken,
and the worlds we dive into oftentimes (Marvel comics printed on paper, DC
comics printed on paper, Star Trek series before effects got super
high-definition cool, Star Wars the way George Lucas did it originally, etc.)
just seemed to work for us. So, it's
frustrating to force us to accept sudden changes to the worlds we love. And like I said, we're resistant to changes;
you might be able drag our bodies into the theatres through persuasion by
awesome trailers, but you will never be able to take hold of all of our minds
and hearts that were dedicated to the original stories.
(I'm
going to nitpick here: the longsword with its lightsaber Crusader hilt,
amazingly cool as it is, doesn't have to be done like that. According to Wookiepedia, there is
such a thing as a darksaber, where it's a lightsaber that seems to
"glow" black, and isn't in the general rapier style we have
grown accustomed to, but rather like a katana. If you have read Wookiepedia, you wouldn't
have to piss off so fucking many nerds!
Now back to my regular spiel….)
Evolution: It's a Painfully Long Process That is a Part
of Life
Now, a
proposal for the solution to everyone's problems….
Has it
ever occurred to you that mayyybe Papa Spock (who is quite biased, considering
that he's a Disney Geek for reals; don't go, "Team Disney," at me,
Dad!) could be right in some aspects?
That they're being too limited by our expansion of the Star Wars
universe, ruled over by the god known as George Lucas, who caused that
universe's Big Bang with an awesome idea?
And,
Disney and other involved parties: you're losing us over your changes. Would it really hurt to include us nerds in
the process of creating this new movie?
Or are you too busy focusing on the movie and not on what the reception
of the movie might be like? (Same for
you, Marvel, DC, Dark Horse, Star Trek, and video game companies/franchises,
with your products!) Our demographic is
highly populated with early-adopters; a new gadget or video game or Marvel
movie comes out, and within hours, you have thousands of nerds stampeding forth
to line up for the midnight releases, shoving money into your faces while
scrabbling at whatever we could grab on to while pitching tents in our pants
over how excited we are for this new addition to our universes. We live, not just in our physical universe,
but also mentally in thousands of abstract universes that might actually be
real universes that exist somewhere within the multiverse! Why else do you think we play Dungeons &
Dragons or Magic the Gathering? We tend
to argue over certain minute details, but we're happy to add to what we have,
rather than just knocking it down and starting over.
We
should get involved with each other…..
(Oi, gutter brains! Not
sexually! Okay? Get back to reading!) Nerd-sourcing, similar to crowd-sourcing, is
incredibly cheap; we highly value the mental and emotional parts of producing
nerdy content, which means that even if we don't get paid, we are likely to still
do the work just to be a part of something special. How else do you think Ok Go (Shit Fuck) was
able to do the Rube Goldberg music video without spending way too much
money? Nerds pitched in because they
knew it would be a good idea that needed to be created and put out onto the
Internwebz.
I
propose that the resistant members of the nerd community rejects the rejection,
and keep the Expanded Universe alive. while cherry-picking what Disney
introduces to us; this is what they plan on doing to our EU, anyways, adding
what they like and erasing what they don't like officially. Nothing says that we can't have fan-created
content just because someone bought the rights to something. (Yes, Disney, there is such a thing as
fan-fiction and fan art. Also,
Wookipedia is OURS!!! So if you get lawyer-happy,
we'll rally around our own kind, outright rejecting you altogether. At least, that's what I think will happen….)
Anyways,
we should have two parallel Star Wars universes, with galaxies inside that
reflect what we nerds accept inside one of them, while Disney gets to have
their own universe; this way, we can both be happy! *uses Jedi mind trick on Disney's Star Wars
dept* You will accept this idea
and implement it without issue…..
That's
all I can say about this for now. Of
course, it's still up for discussion; discussion and healthy debates (and not
just flame wars that involve name calling and cursing and whatnot) are good for
society and its many demographics. It's
what Athens was built upon way back when; why can't we do the same?
Chew(bacca)
on that. In the meantime, enjoy your
Greedo Tacquito!
Yeah! A new blog post! Wanna think about it? Try my Psybient Chillscape playlist that is a couple of days and a few minutes long in total playtime! Chillax a ton! Expand your consciousness! Huh?
Oh, no, wait, it's a blog post, not an acid trip.
Just
recently, I've had another bit of existential angst on the scale of the human
species. It's not that it's a bad thing,
it's something that probably everyone should think deeply about, while they do
repetitive boring tasks or are spending time by themselves doing nothing that
will risk their lives (like operating machinery or driving or patrolling for
trouble if you're one of the cops out there).
Say, perhaps 5 minutes at a time on your smoke breaks. That should work….
Anyways,
this has only popped up in my head during a shower a few weeks ago on Monday evening (on
February 9th, 2015). It was like my
brain just decided to open up a corner of my mind I prefer not to frolic
through, mostly because it's a bit too dark.
And from that corner in all of her Sith glory emerged Darth Eden, the
dark side of my humanity that I insist on suppressing. And it was not a good thing at all; in fact,
this is proof that I should medicate more often, to prevent Darth Eden from
ever even seeing the light of day, or night, or evening, or whatever time I
arise from my comatose sleep; she can still exist, but she shouldn't ever take
an active role in my life because I want to be a good person. Anyways, with Darth selves come dark
questions, and this moment was no exception: Darth Eden just emerged while I
was shampooing my hair and, simultaneously, pondering the validity of the moral
and ethical conflicts that arise from deciding who should die—the chimpanzee or
the little person being attacked by said chimpanzee. ("Schwaaaaaaaa? Where did THIS come from?!" Listen to Nerdist Podcast episode #130,"Penn and Teller." The link for the impatient ones is also available.) And
without skipping a beat, while I decided to try and drop the mental dilemma,
Darth Eden asked with evil eyes aglow, "Why should the human race as a
whole exist the way it is now? With all its faults and issues and the conflicts
that we currently have?"
That
frightened me so much that I just HAD to reach out to my friends and my tweeps.
And it also helped to remind me that
they are simply awesome weirdos just like me who totally get me! So, major POINTS(!) to them!
The Questions of a Young Padawan to Jedi Master Leonidas
First,
let's start with a response from my friend Jesse, who I absolutely SWEAR is the
Jedi Master version of Leonidas! He was
wise, he totally understood where I was coming from, and he's a Spartan! Really!
(Ever heard of the Spartan Race?
I think that once I become a ninja Jedi, I should run in it! *adds to list of currently unlikely dreams*) His responses were really insightful and
what's also interesting is that he thought that my question was so good that he
shared the conversation on Facebook:
A friend of mine, Eden Pyrithea, asked me a question that had come to her mind, and its a good one, and we had a conversation about it and i thought i should post it here because i do believe every word i said to her"Should we humans, as a whole, exist the way we are?"i thought about my answer for a while before responding, "No, we should exist and work daily to improve ourselves and the universe around us. Simple acts can lead to mighty changes. Go speak at a town meeting on views that you believe in, volunteer at a soup kitchen to help those less fortunate then you and make the world, and the universe a better place""Huh. What about the general current human state There are evil people who live inside of the lies they spread." was her next question"They only exist in power because we allow them to. So by beginning a small movement that can then become a large movement you can resist them, a perfect example would be Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his dream.""But they carry influence like we carry mass.""Only because we allow them to. I think a time will come, and sooner than some think, that we as a people will rise above things like hate and greed to become the utopia Gene Roddenberry believed we could"and yes i do believe we could be as great as The Great Bird of the Galaxy thought we could be, but its up to us to start finding small ways to help each other. Like my thoughts or not, but i will stand by them to the end.
He's
right, though it does seem a little frustrating. There are so many good people in the world,
but there are all these larger-than-myself issues such as war and ISIS and the
anti-vaccine bullcrap (as well as the anti-autism fears people have related to
it) and us having a really corrupt Congress (and possibly POTUS if the antichrist
twins Koch brothers succeed in buying the election) that, despite each drop
into the bucket of liquid influence causing a small ripple, I just want to kick
the whole bucket over, spilling its contents, shaking up everything to the
point where people can finally figure out what really works and helps everyone
vs. what doesn't. But maybe once I start
attending town hall meetings and speaking out on issues that I'm passionate
about, my drops of influence could become rocks that get bigger and bigger. I should become more patient. And I probably shouldn't be so impatient; as Mahatma Ghandi once said:
Perhaps
maybe the world could change quicker and for the better if we work together….
Into the Twitterverse: When You've Found "YOUR
TWEEPLE"!
Another
good friend could be one you have met online through Twitter. Fellow Nerd @LisaR_M (who is actually a
hardcore Chris Hardwick fan, but not to the groupie level that @DiHard11 is at)
was able to provide some insight of her own.
Here is her series of tweets that helped me onto the path of personal
enlightenment:
@LadyEden1337 What are you thinking about that’s scary? Murdering somebody? Committing the unpardonable sin? Doing something perverted?
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015
@LadyEden1337 Ah, big picture existential angst. That’s a “Let go and let God” situation. Or insert whatever your higher power is.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015
@LadyEden1337 All of life is a paradox. It’s always a take the good with the bad situation. There can never be perfect people.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015
@LadyEden1337 And you have to watch your ego. It’s tempting to think you know what’s best for everyone but you’re not omniscient
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015
@LadyEden1337 The issue you're having with the bullshitters is a clashing of egos. Instead of judging them try to learn from them.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015
@LadyEden1337 :) I’ve thought a lot about this stuff. It’s exhausting sometimes that's why I avoid politics & try to let it go.
— Lisa Moore (@LisaR_M) February 10, 2015
I was
able to take to heart the "ego check" one, because sometimes, when
you're on the Autism Spectrum, you don't always think of the world through a perspective
outside of your own. This (in my case,
especially) often leads to moments where you feel as though you have all
the answers! ALL OF THEM! Including the Answer to Life , the Universe
and Everything! (That one is easy to
obtain; just read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and ask, "What is 6
times 7?")
It does
get frustrating at times, and she's right: we shouldn't think that way. Even if you're not on the Spectrum, if you're
just a nerd, it's still the same principle.
Chris Hardwick has already pointed this out on page 105 in a subsection
titled "The Third Reaction" in his book The Nerdist Way, saying, "Nerds know they're
smarty-pantses—in fact, it's part of how they define themselves, so sometimes
we come from a place of 'everyone is stupid but me.' This is shitty and wrong. It also leads to spontaneous emotional
reactions to situations rather than calm, well-thought-out ones." So, as a member of this community of
differently-wired persons, we should work on understanding what makes sense to
other people, instead of dismissing it as "utter crap". In fact, that's what I'm adding to my XP goal
chart: "Understanding and Communication," because I know that once I
understand where my debate opponents (like the anti-vaccine….. *struggling* people)
are coming from, I can communicate my way around their defenses to see if I can
help them open up to (at the very LEAST) healthy discussions that are highly
educational for both sides of an issue.
This is also made difficult because everyone understands something their
own way and are often convinced that they know the "truth" behind certain
topics; and everyone living their life as a story, and they are the hero of it,
regardless of whether other people regard them as heroes or villains.
(Small
parenthetical paragraph note: Another great way to help people get a better
understanding of Autistic Spectrum Disorders is to talk to us!!!! So often are we excluded from the
conversation that I'm sure there is misinformation out there, provided by
people who are thought to be the voices of the "autistic people,"
when they're not really speaking for us, but rather for themselves. Yes, this includes Autism Speaks; they don't
really pay attention to what we're figuratively saying. Just talk to us or ask us about ASDs and
living independently! We can answer
questions! Either tweet to me or to @chromesthesia;
we can give you insight!)
So, as I
was saying, I was given pearls of wisdom that I'll be fashioning into Earrings
of +20 Wisdom, thanks to my friends. And
it has led me to perhaps what the goal would be for the world.
My Hopes for the World in Commercials
This
discussion about humanity has led me to having hope for the future of the human
race; it's not a very big anti-vampire spotlight of hope, because it's a lot of
work to set forth a giant tidal wave of change.
But now that I typed that sentence, I am realizing that I shouldn't work
on creating a tidal wave, but rather just create my own small waves that will
erode at this rock of evil that I see before me. And I can do it similarly to this commercialfrom Liberty Mutual:
One way to start, just hold the door open for the person
entering or exiting the building you're entering or exiting from, or keeping to
the sides of the grocery aisles, shopping cart and all.
Maybe
once that gets going, we can live life like these adorable animals in this Android commercial that has been making the rounds of the advertsphere:
In any case, I should enjoy what I can, taking the good
stuff to heart and cherishing it emotionally while leading the bad stuff to my
mental laboratory to analyze it, determine if it's an endeavour to take on with
the experience I have or to pass on it, buying more time to learn about the
issue that is staring at everyone in the face.
(And can
I point out that we have a time limit here?
I mean, come on! Asteroid Apophisis coming! TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK!!!)
In any
case, I hope you agree with me on this and have decided to join me on this
journey towards world improvement. And
to make the journey more enjoyable, why don't we ride a burrito boat? JUST BECAUSE!
Heehee! In the meantime, enjoy
your mindful tacquito!
This is a
letter directed mainly to both Adam and Zak in regards to the "online
controversy" that occurred on January 8th, which I sort of covered in my
previous blog post that was published that evening. It's also, in some way, directed to all the
fans of both Ghost Adventures and MythBusters, to try and clarify everything
that possibly was already clarified, but….not enough, apparently. The reason why I am doing this is because I realized, after listening to Adam on his Still Untitled: The Adam Savage Project podcast episode that referred to this controversy (Click here if you're too impatient), that it's my fault. So, please, lend me your ears/eyes.....
Dear Adam
and Zak,
I know we
probably want to move on from this fight that started up on Twitter (we know
which one), but…. I couldn't. Not just yet.
Not when I'm having dreams where I'm discussing in person with Adam the tweet that started it all (Sorry, Zak; I think my subconscious too afraid to
invite you into the dream!). There was
so much guilt and so much wincing that I am overdue to issue an apology.
Yes: I'm
sorry for starting it all. I'm the one
who started that shit storm, creating the opportunity for us all to ride the leaky
raft down Shit Creek all the way to the bottom of Asshat Falls (and to add to
it, we ran out of duct tape to repair said leaky raft). I am the person who is responsible by
accidentally creating a flame war with a simple mistake.
I should
not have tagged you both in the tweet. I
know Adam meant well as a confirmed skepticcritical thinker (I'm
sorry for calling you a skeptic.) that he thinks ghosts don't exist, that
ghosts are made up, and that Zak was offended by (somewhat
rightfully) misinterpreting the response.
But I was the one who created the opportunity that I should not have
made, by tagging both of you in the tweet instead of my Dalek tweeps, or human
tweeps, or even the two to five Darth Vader parody accounts who follow me. Or how about the Sontaran? I could have asked ANYONE else in the entire
Twitterverse (including God, R2D2, a Stormtrooper Intern, and Wil Wheaton's cat),
and instead, I asked you two because I stupidly thought, at the time, that it
was a "good idea".
That was incredibly
stupid and shortsighted of me for doing that, especially now that this little
mistake of tagging you two instead of my Twitter peeps was an experiment that
was doomed to epic failure before Adam even responded: Before tweeting, I
should've realized, you're both already somewhat professionally biased in terms
of my options, because you both would want me to watch your respective shows
(which I can do, one at a time), instead of the other respective show—because
it's YOUR SHOW! You put so much hard
work into putting it together (or being the hot, handsome talent in front of
the camera) that it would not help either of you if I opt to watch another show
instead of yours; then again, you both have millions of fans, so I wasn't going
to cause too much of a difference—but I did, by asking you two for your
(obvious) opinion on Twitter instead of my Twitter Peeps, or texting one of
my friends.
I feel so
guilty for this dumb mistake. And it was
made with 2 of the most awesome people I admire. I was just….an idiot, a fool with matchsticks
inside of a professional-grade fireworks factory with exposed fuses. I was playing with fire, and it wound up
being funny at first (as you can tell from my previous post that was mostly
directed towards the fans), but it was both aggravating and terrifying. I was dragged along for the ride, because I
kept getting tagged in all the tweets that were responding to Adam and it just
wouldn't stop. My phone (which is a dumb
phone, as opposed to your smart ones) can get Twitter updates via text, and
I've got my updates set so that my phone gets all my @Mentions, which is set to
"Receive all, including people you don't follow," which resulted in a
phone that kept going off because Twitter was texting me all the tweets that
tagged me. That's how I knew: people
kept tagging me and wouldn't let me even utter a word of the sentence, "STOP
THE RIDE! I want to get off!"
This
apology should've come earlier, but I was either too scared or distracted with
ducking my head with latent tweets and it was only after listening to an
episode of Adam's podcast (the specific episode that addressed this) when I was
walking home that I realized that it was all my fault!!! California Dalek (aka, Cali) was right; I
just hope he doesn't rub it in….
Anyways, I
should probably shut up; I really do not ever want to start up the flame war
again. I'm sorry you both got shit for
this, when I was the one who should've gotten it. Really.
Also, Adam is not a cyberbully (or a robot or
Vulcan) who is "anti-science" or "closed minded" or whatever; he's totally
pro-science, and amazingly hilarious with an awesome career (CEMENT TRUCK!) and
a really cool, grounded perspective of the world who, to be honest, could've
reworded the response he gave so it's not one that would open the door to the
cyber abuse the Interwebz is known to be a platform for. And Zak is not an idiot or a fool
who chases his imagination (though he looks like a hot jock) because he
believes in ghosts and can bet his electrons on the personal experiences he had
in his life. And we're all human, which
means we're bound to make mistakes, and we're nerds because we're passionate
about what we like, to the point where, if someone confuses Star Trek and Star Wars, or Friday the 13th and Nightmare On Elm Street, we (at least both Adam
and myself) would write a 2-page thesis—1 tweet at a time—about how they are
different. (Don't deny it, Zak! You are a nerd of a specific type, being a
horror movie buff and a believer in the paranormal—yes, paranormal nerds
exist! And don't worry because nerdy is
the new sexy!)
I'd suggest
ways to fix this, but I'm also afraid of getting my ideas shot down by you
two. It's because I'm a total
fan-squirrel (squirrelly fangirl) who belongs to the third camp: the one that
sits between the skeptical-of-ghosts-and-the-paranormal MythBusters Adam Savage
fan camp and the believer-in-ghosts skeptical-of-skeptics Ghost Adventures Zak
Bagans fan camp, and it's the one that has fans who, like me, enjoy both of
your shows. But I hope we can FINALLY
get past this without getting any more weird dreams that is really our
subconscious scolding us.
Also, one
more thing: I'm sorry that this ever happened, because I'm very, very,
absolutely sure that there is now a fanfic genre of the two of you….er, you
know….. Rule 34? *DUCKS!*
Anyways,
one last apology (I'M REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SORRY!), with an update:
I've solved my problem—each week on Saturday, I'll watch one of your shows at
9pm EST, and then catch the late night repeat, but it'll alternate so that one
week will have MythBusters at 9 and Ghost Adventures at midnight and the next
week will have Ghost Adventures at 9 with MythBusters at 11pm.
Just be
glad that Doctor Who Season 9 didn't start yet; if I added that third option,
the nerdy fan base shit storm will end up evolving into a shit hurricane, and
all we would ever be able to do is hide from the Interwebz until it passes
completely, hanging onto each other for dear life as though it would make
everything better, with me sobbing quietly into the darkness.
I've
learned my lesson: DO NOT ASK THE ON-SCREEN TALENT WHICH OF THEIR SHOWS I
SHOULD WATCH! Because if I do,
open-season on the Interwebz starts up and everyone will have to run for
cover. *writes note to self to
"Wear a bullet-proof vest everyday from now on"*
Anyways,
thanks to the both of you for your awesome shows, and please know that I nerd
over the both of you equally! Though,
now, I'm sure I started the war up again…..
HIT THE DECK!
